Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration

are you all excited for another episode of rot grained
okay thirst and i'm gonna need you to roll a dc20 survival check if you don't you will not survive
what are my bonuses i don't have a character what you needed to roll you perish
i have a new wireless dongle i'm connected to everything forever he's connected to all of you
all at once hi everybody welcome welcome to i think it's episode nine now of right yeah we're at
nine yes awesome guys thank you all so much for showing up to the show we greatly appreciate
thank you everybody for coming over to uh the live stream you can always see us live at twitch.tv
forward slash zone the bear we greatly appreciate people coming over saying hi it gives us all the
energy seeing all of your reactions and all of your responses to things that we do uh i'm gonna
go ahead before i get in the news i want to introduce everybody you know always switch it
up because i never be consistent introduce you to the amazing people who kind of bring you rock
right starting off from left to right odoroshi how you doing hello it's me odoroshi writer i'm playing
vali the sylph swashbuckler uh and i'm also in your home right now playing your video games uh you need
to get a better selection it's kind of shit right now but you know i forgive you just this way
once the next up we have hulky crow hey that's me i am hulky crow also known as hulkster the
bolster i am playing rohua the kenrasu cleric uh his voice is going to be changing from here on out
i'm talking like this now he's going to be an italian tree i jab you in your in your in your in
your throat and you fix this now man i'm sorry i cook it a pizza i make it the oil i'm gonna put it
that's how it is i hope you like this character dynamic change chat i crush your larynx so you
don't do that again nice twitch chat dream is something happened to it's all i'm saying
i crush your larynx so you are doing that same if something happened to this broadcast you've
been enjoying i cast i castrate you what
well next up we have aaron dill no i'm i'm i'm the gm you have to do me last okay sorry yes but
my name is urndill i am uh i'm a voice actor and doing stuff for alphabusa with a lot of projects
we just you may or may not have seen episode three recently uh that is courtesy mostly of our my good
friend speaker d you'll see him in a minute when it comes time for him but not yet i'm talking but
anyway uh yeah we're uh we're happy to see all you folks hope you guys enjoyed none of the
parenting if i can chill for like exactly one second
you had your second done next up speaker d yeah now it's my time to chill hi everybody i'm speaker
d you know me i play tan hauser the revolutionary android makers and i'm also a writer and voice
actor for alphabusa and ogre popenang and i'm also responsible in large part but not entirely for
uh hunter the parenting episode three which i hope you all liked the conclusion of pewter mania i i also
play bremblo the uh obese uh bomb holding avocado connoisseur who is currently deceased
passed away from natural causes you say currently no no no no no i think you will find thurston
hilton that grembo is returning he is currently deceased i thought speaker had told you that he
was going to be playing two characters yeah yeah yeah yeah off call gm i think you will find that
grembo is coming back thurston please roll a dc 50 roll to see if you are able to kill him for longer
than one minute that's not a 50 roll that's a d20 roll you can't even fucking count no he had a
bonus of uh 43 so he actually passed okay that's good goodbye listen but for the one who fails their
rolls and also makes her suffer uh our illustrious game master thurston hillman how you doing buddy
hi i'm thurston hillman thirsty on call gm i write words sometimes for game companies like paizo
and warhammer properties and other shit um uh you know what like the last two weeks have kind of been
a fever like let's just play the game today you don't need to know about let's just let's just get
into it awesome and i am your host zoran the bear i will be playing the strict struid name
oran yes i know the name is dumb we'll all get over it together but with that we're going to go
through announcement stuff not so stuff before we get to the campaign uh first off patreon stuff for
we get or we did a giant little update and stuff for people who may be interested for um all the
stuff that's kind of happening behind the scenes and things like that uh one of the things we're
going to be introducing in the future is the complication system uh if you're those who watched
war hands and stuff like that uh we're bringing that back basically if we roll a natural one
and stuff you guys get to basically mess us up uh you guys get to submit your stuff if you are a
patreon member uh and stuff like that submit all your uh-ohs to us we will then filter through them
stuff like that but we are going to be as transparent as we can about it really illustrate
what this system is about please head over to our patreon patreon.com forward slash narrative
declarations to the details on that along with giving thirst and villain points so you know not
this episode that will be in i have to talk to sonosu who's our lovely coder who kind of brought
you these lovely little hero point bars on how that's going to work is basically every time you
donate to us a portion of that goes to thurston or you can directly donate to thurston's villain bar
so for anyone who likes to come over and say like hey the game the players constantly just
win on the tag they can read all the d20s no they actually destroy they actually mess us up more
than they help us i think unless someone wants to do the math for me um and how many times they've
helped or denied us but now every time you help us you also help thurston get a villain point which
he can use to really mess us up it's going to be absolutely fantastic along with a whole bunch of
other stuff called our war hams one shot if you all want to see our old war hams characters come
together in the realm of rock grind and uh give one last reunion possibly running a tavern together
and stuff that's going to be a patreon exclusive thing so there's details on that as well so if
you're interested in all that stuff please head over to our patreon at patreon.com forward slash
narrative declaration to find out more along with that uh i don't think there's anything else
anybody else you'd like to bring up but regardless i'd like to say congratulations fellas on uh the
new hunter the parenting episode three when i saw for a bit everyone did a fantastic job so
yeah good little round of applause kind of deal yeah yeah sorry i missed a little bit of that because
i watched shia kazing oh my goodness again no but with that with that thurston uh i guess we can jump
right back when we left off i think we're being brutally murdered well every epic last time our destined
band of chuckle fucks you know what no i basically blacked out last week i think there was something
about rahua going to a restaurant and then avocados and then something about like i'm 600 pounds
nearing the end of my life then boy showed up then we crossed realities and baron stackwall showed
up and a dog and the dog uh then like during a pitch of what i assume was a fever dream erndale
stepped in and gm'd uh and rounded up everyone with a tyrant's guild npc he had with a chainsaw car
um and then i guess the rest of the party uh in like the the not fever dream portion of the
the session uh discussed their destiny and refused to accept that they died when they fell several
hundred feet into a sinkhole uh oh and then the tyrant's guild uh were rampaging down the streets
on a hunt to to oppress the people uh so our heroes they all stepped in to fight that and we got into a
big battle and like things weren't necessarily going too well in that big battle i think um but but you
know you know because because hi i can't help myself sometimes um today's session starts with
the the black the black screen and then the the the fancy white text appears that just says in the
most plain font it's like times new roman centered in the middle of the screen i'm not actually doing
this but i'm painting this picture in your head and it says one day earlier and um we cut to a jail
cell uh a jail cell that we've seen before where in fact our campaign began except uh currently in
this jail cell um roshi rider would you describe the small child to which you inflicted upon me
last session uh and what they're doing in the prison cell uh this is my punishment chat uh this is this
is what i've earned uh yeah there is a there there's a there's a kid probably about 10 uh scruffy
blonde hair um debatably maybe male um you know i i just kind of started saying a voice and um you
know it just kind of came out um uh they're sitting there they've got like um an empty bottle of wine
in one hand uh and they're just you know hitting it against the bars you know like when the prisoners
have like the steel cups and they just right just along the bars and along with the sound we we hear
that the trudging of footsteps heavy armored footsteps echoing down the chamber boom boom and you can hear
um or at least your your your childlike character odo can hear the the the sounds of cells being
opened kachink kachink clunk and the metal moving back and forth and it seems to be getting closer
and closer but the footsteps are also uh getting closer and closer and we cut to our good friend the the
the orcish guard homel who who you your character would know is the sort of overseer of this
establishment this half orc in the garb of the tyrant's guild has come up to you um to your cell i
should say with a key and is going through several keys on a on a ring and goes to unlock the cell
uh you we're letting you out thank fucking christ uh that that deity doesn't exist in this setting
oh right sorry thank uh spinning a wheel thank um unkey blaze whatever yeah um you can uh you can
can go out the the door and you you're you're free to go well it took you long enough
yeah yeah yeah just uh you you just get out of here you're you're free to go all right i'm gonna
like i'm gonna um narratively declare that there's like a stool in the cell i'm gonna pick it up and
i'm gonna set it in front of homo and i'm just gonna just gonna put a tiny hand on uh his shoulder
and just say thanks dipshit and i'm gonna run homo just like looks down he's like this is my last day
on the job just gotta make it through this just just gotta make it through okay next one uh and he
walks over to um to a cell that contains a a dwarvish fellow and his dog hey zoran ah fuck remember when
you were asking if if baron were to show up uh-huh would you like to describe baron and his dog in
the cell baron the baron is just kind of like sitting down all sad petting petting him sorry i
didn't prepare for a scene i guess he's just sitting there just just just singing a sad song
like i'm all alone hard to pain myself and he looks at nugget i'm sorry i didn't mean that i didn't
mean the hurt your feelings and now nugget's sad so he hugs his dog who's now in prison and sad
baron stackwall that's you right homo says as he approaches hi hi baron right you say that every
time i walk by uh but this will be the last time uh because we're we're letting you out of here
yeah that way we can finally leave this establishment and finally go forth into doing adventures and get
drunk all throughout the town come on boy clang clang clang the the door slowly opens uh right
uh just just get out of here have a have a good life yeah but baron waddles away now get behind
existence right one just just one more cell okay i just gotta i just gotta survive one more cell to
unlock speaker d yeah would you like to describe uh what homo comes upon
in the final cell that he has to unlock at this point in this past event that i'm totally not
regretting it it resembles a great mass of a man 600 pounds approaching the end of his life clearly
clearly clearly on the way out he has still clutched in his hand a bomb uh i'm not quite sure how that got
in i think it's just part of him um and you see uh he is quite quite uh quite dead um as as as flies buzz
about but these great vein like protrusions stretching across this swollen bloated belly it looks
almost as if his stomach is full of eels are you describing bremplo or of course i'm i don't know this
this is bremblo okay uh brem bro bremplo are you you're free to go
you got any fucking avocados uh no you you may wanna maybe granny sweets has some it's too late
The change is upon me, but the path is more glorious than I imagined.
It does not stop at a mere single mutation.
The form I've been promised is more beautiful than even that.
I will float through the air and strike the thorn of my biomass with my avocado.
With all an avocado!
And he explodes.
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
This is the way of teleporting.
The fever dream is now over.
The paralysis demon has now moved on.
That is not how he dies, that's how he teleports.
An orb emerges from this explosive remains of this biological terror, and you see a centipede-like
fleshy mound curtailing about it.
opens its jaw wide before vanishing out between the windows to regenerate yet another Brembo
form to continue its life cycle.
You know, you know, chat, I just want all of you to know, I did this scene being like,
we'll, we'll, we'll like fucking bring into continuity all of this, we'll round it out,
it'll be all okay, it'll all make sense.
So last week isn't a fucking fever dream.
And then it all ties neatly together.
Yeah, CP fucking containment breach here.
I tried chat, I tried.
All right, so we cut away from that flashback, back to a place where maybe I can pretend I
have some modicum of power as the GM in this game.
We cut back to the ongoing conflict in the streets.
A day later, the, where we have left off to, to sort of bring everyone up to speed is our
destined band of Chucklefox has been engaged in a, in a combat along the streets just outside
Granny Sweets restaurant where several outriders of the Tyrant's Guild,
three of them in fact, had made their way down the streets along with some of their, their foot soldier
abasers.
Uh, these, these troops have been like cutting down civilians and causing terror in the streets.
Uh, and we, so we've, we've been fighting them for a bit.
That's where we left off last session.
One of the outriders has been defeated, uh, and with their defeat, a, a small, uh, glass
bile has collapsed onto the ground and shattered, releasing some sort of strange incorporeal entity
which has begun to marionette the corpse of the outrider.
Uh, which has just in fact, uh, raised up at the end of our last session as well.
Uh, and then there are still, there is still, however, one skeletal horse which, um,
Tannhauser had been mounted upon and hopped off just at the end of our session.
And, yeah, that's, um, that's, that's where we are at.
We are right back into combat as the, the fight and the struggle continues after the, the revisit of our fever dream.
Uh, and, um, we start off, um, the, this combat with the, the skeletal horse that is, uh, that's still, still intact.
Uh, that Tannhauser has, has managed to command and maneuver.
Um, but, but this, this, this horse is now is now wild.
It's, it's without anyone giving it proper directions.
Um, and so it is going to, um, it has, let's see, it has some targets around it that it's, uh, gonna be looking at.
As it looks down the street, it's got Baldrick and Rahua in front of it, as well as Tannhauser, who's just hopped off.
Another of the, uh, the Tyrant's Guild Outriders to the side of it, Orin behind it, and then also one of Orin's trees.
A tree.
Yes.
The true hero of our age.
And, uh, it decides to attack Orin, um, first, because it, it randomly assigns a target.
This is gone for Orin.
Uh, so after.
I, I tell it for a free action, no.
Uh, well, it, it, like, turns around, its jaws raising up, and they, they come down on you, Orin, uh, like, attempting to tear into you.
It's trying to make its way out of here, having been rushed into this space.
And, uh, it makes an attack roll on you.
Uh, with a 21, so it will hit you for a grand total of seven points of damage, which I can apply to you, as it, like, bites into you.
Uh, and with that, it gets one more attack that it attempts to take at this stage, attempting to, to break its way out.
Now, I forget, can your tree take that strike, Orin?
Only if I'm adjacent to it.
Ah, so it cannot in this case.
All right, so yes, it's going to take a multi-attack penalty as it attempts to, to bite through you again.
Oh my gosh, it hits you again.
Um, rolling 18 for 21.
Another 21.
Uh, doing this time, ah, another seven points of damage.
So it is tearing into your flesh as it's biting into you, Orin, this, this, like, skeletal steed, though it makes no, like, you know, typical horse sounds, because it doesn't quite have a vocal tract.
You can hear the jangling of its armor and the, the clucking of its feet on the ground.
All right, that, that is its go.
And then that brings us to our, our friend, Prance du Shelf, who is, like, looking over at you, Volley, uh, Prance's new captain.
What should I do?
The possessed guy, get that spirit off of him, and then you should probably run.
Uh, run, uh, uh, he, like, rushes down to here, taking your advice, um, and attacks, goes to attack the, uh, the strange zombified creature that has popped up.
He still is obviously very perturbed by the events that have gone on, and he makes an attack roll with his curved blade that is out.
Ooh, um, and that will just hit, so he will roll his damage.
Ooh, there is a, like, horrific tearing strike as his blade cuts in, uh, cuts into this target, and you could tell his slashing blade is very effective against this, uh, this, this, like, possessed corpse that sort of turns towards Prance.
All right, that is Prance's go.
He received his order.
He moved.
He attacked.
That will be it for him.
Baldrick, my friend, you are back up, uh, and you are, you have a riderless horse to the south of you.
And then, um, some various other threats around you.
What would you like to do, my friend?
Uh, am I intercepted from attacking this one?
Uh, which one?
By the smoke cloud.
Uh, no, no, no, you, you, you can, you can see it fairly clearly.
I'll, I'll give you, like, a path to it from here.
Okay.
So what I'm going to do, let me take a look and see what would be the most appropriate to cast on this guy.
Of course.
Of course.
Of course.
It would probably be, well, they're probably resistant to fire, so what about his acid?
Probably not acid, though.
Yeah, we'll go with acid.
Go with acid?
Because as I recall, uh, Kryn threw a lightning bomb at them and that was no good.
Kryn threw a, uh, did Globetuck throw an acid bomb last time?
Uh, acid, yes, and acid seemed to be, be effective.
It seemed like, and you, you would have enough knowledge to know, like, it seemed like a lot of the elements that weren't acid aren't particularly effective against these.
Okay, but this guy up north is also taking care.
Uh, this is difficult.
Because I could just try to beat this guy down over here, because he's pretty low.
Yes, the one to the north of you is still immobilized, but it, it will get one more turn after, like, basically it will stop being immobilized at the start of its next turn, so.
Because you had locked it in place and prevented it from moving last time.
But it's, uh, the rider and the mount are, like, cutting through all of the, the webbing and that was their last action, so you know that they'll be out of it and ready to, uh, join the fight.
Damn, bad positioning.
Let me think, real quick, because we got that guy there, we got the horse there, we got the rider and the horse there, and we got potentially guy getting out there.
You know what, uh, I'm going to move one up here, so that way this horse can't attack me.
Yeah, step.
And so that this guy can't do anything really either, because of the blockage.
I'm gonna take, I'm gonna take the rider north on.
Okay, yeah, so you step up, so that blocks any attacks of opportunity, if it had it, uh, and then yeah, you have two actions left, what would you like to do?
Stepping, I'm just moving one up, so I'm out of range of that thing, and then I'm going to throw, or I'm going to craft and throw an acid bomb.
Absolutely.
Okay, yeah, yeah, uh, make your attack on it.
I'm just going to craft one.
Sure thing.
Ta-ta-ta-ta.
You begin brewing.
And I gotta, gotta equip it, because it's like, oh, you don't have that equipped.
Yes, I do.
D-side.
Alright, target.
And strike A.
Go!
Go!
That'll be an 18 with a hit.
That's good.
Good enough.
We'll absolutely hit it.
You can tell you're hitting it just because you've still got it immobilized at this point, so that has helped out quite a bit.
Alright, and now damage.
Be something useful.
Ah, for cripes sake.
Okay, so this is, okay, so remember, three, like, you're not actually rolling a dice here.
So you'll do three damage to it, which, were you aiming for the rider or the horse in this case?
Hang on, did I roll that?
You don't roll, because acid is only persistent roll.
You just do your-
Right, right, right.
Just needed to make sure of that.
Confirming though, were you going for the rider or the horse here?
I was going for the horse, because the horse appears to be the one that's wounded, I assume?
Per-
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The riders, just as a reminder to everyone here, I've got the riders just off on these buildings.
Yeah, and I'm hitting the horse first.
Yeah, yeah, okay, so what will happen here is you will do your splash damage to the horse.
You will also do it to the rider here.
Mm-hmm.
And then, because the foundry is super cool, I drag this over, and we now have the persistent acid damage.
I should also remind that this one down here also has persistent acid damage from Globetog, so that was how you saw it was previously effective.
Yeah, I'm just trying to figure out how best to spread the damage.
Oh, yeah.
Very good, very good.
All right, so that brings us to an end for your turn.
Hang on, people are messaging me and blocking the end turn button.
There you go.
Okay, cool.
All right, so that brings us to this zombified citizen, though in this case it's the Outrider.
This spectral thing behind it, it kind of like animates its, or more like directs it like a puppet.
Its hands come up, and his gauntlets begin thrashing around towards our dear Prance du Shelf as he swings several times at the elf.
Oh, and I roll a natural one.
So like the first one, like Prance definitely dodges out the way.
Is that all you've got?
And then the creature attacks again, and rolls worse, and then it does another action, like as this thing sort of strings it out.
We're at one crit fail already.
Moves it this way.
Yeah.
And it sort of like lumbers towards the larger group of all of you, moving away from Prance, who does not have attack of opportunity, so is not taking a free strike on that.
All right.
This thing is now moving into the wider combat volley.
You see this happen.
You see that Prance has like dodged the attacks, has done some damage to it.
But yeah, you are, you are now in a situation where you can choose what you would like to do.
So please tell me.
Yes, indeed.
Um, well, we do definitely need to deal with these horses, but the zombie is an issue.
Um, let's see.
Have I got panache?
I forgot if I, okay, I do have it.
Um, so I do get to move a little quicker.
35 would get me here.
Um, so I believe I will just leave the zombie to our friends.
Okay.
Uh, and I'm just going to keep going at the riders.
Um, I'm going to, I'm going to be flanking with Rahua.
That's what I'll do.
Sweet.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um.
It's really horse.
Uh, and I already have panache, so I am going to attack the rider.
Uh, is this the, the, this guy?
Uh, so, so, um, the, that would be this fellow here.
Oh, okay.
Uh, which would not, you would not be flanking if you were there.
You'd probably want to move, like, beside Oren to flank that way.
Yeah.
So you have, like, a straight line through.
Uh, or wait, is this, is this, uh.
The one that, the token that has, yeah, the token that has the horse face is just the horse.
Oh, okay.
The token that has the, the two is the, is, like, rider horse.
Gotcha.
So in that case, I'll be there.
Yeah.
And just when you're targeting, make sure to target, uh, the token.
This guy.
Yep.
Sweet, sweet.
As you deftly rush through Crunch and, uh, Dr. Crim, uh, Crunch still on his back, uh, wiggling around.
Oh, my turtle friend.
Oh, oh, Miss Varley, I'll be there to help you in just a moment as you, like, rush by.
You got a Crunch, I believe.
Oh, and I'm just going to, uh, just run past and, uh, just vault upward and aim a stab upward at this rider, hitting him with a finisher.
Absolutely.
It's, uh, 24 to hit him.
Yeah, that'll, that'll definitely hit, so give me that sweet, sweet Dimash.
That Dimash, uh, that's decent, that's 12 points of damage.
Yeah, so you do, like, a really, like, striking blow, the rider kind of controls the mount turns towards you, the face mask and the eyes through, through which glare down at you.
Uh, and to farm some panache, as I've, like, jumped up onto his horse, I'm just going to plant a foot on its neck and kick off.
Uh, and to a, do a backflip.
Do a backflip.
All right.
Every day.
I'm going to hit him with a backflip.
Hit me with that backflip, yo.
Flip.
Flip.
Flip.
Onto the ground.
Uh, that is an 18.
That is enough, yeah.
You, you, you do a, a fine maneuver, uh, kind of going into its space and then, like, flying back to, to keep your panache.
All right.
I'll give him a smile and a wink and point my sword up at him.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Perfect.
Uh, at that point, you also lose that, uh, point of frightened now.
So, yeah.
You ain't scared no more.
You did a flip.
Yeah, yeah.
Vali, that will bring us next in the order to Orin.
Orin's, Orin's all bitten up and bloody and looks to Vali and goes, it's Vali.
Uh, I'm not.
What's up, Orin?
I'm not feeling so good.
Oh, my God.
I'm gonna put a hand on his shoulder.
No.
You're my first mate, Orin.
You've got this.
And then she stabs him.
The pirate's code.
I always knew you'd turn on me.
You should probably stand next to the tree, though.
That's right.
I'm so sick.
It's higher in the city.
Everywhere I've gone, it's just been, it's all of this.
What's wrong with you people?
It's like, I'm so tired of it.
And as his voice begins to change, he will wild shape, uh, into a bear.
So that he can be done with this.
Let me click.
This shitteth be done-eth.
Yeah, this shitteth be done-eth.
Let me do this awesome thing where I could just drag bear over onto Orin.
Bloop!
He is now shapeshifted!
Brrrr.
Unfortunately, you do not get free HP when you shapeshift in Pathfinder 2.
You just hope it works.
Right? Yeah.
Yeah, you just hope it works out.
But I do get 5 gem parry HP out of it.
So, bam!
Two axes, boom!
Become a bear!
And then, immediately, you're like...
I need to do damage to one of these things.
I want to hit one of the horsemen that's right in front of him that was biting the hell out of him.
Okay, so this is just the horse.
This one to the left here is the one that was biting you.
Oh, it's the one to the left? Okay.
And that's just a horse, no rider.
The one right north of you is rider and horse.
The rider is just off to the side here if you want to target.
Would I make the left one flat-footed, technically, or no?
You'd make...
Yeah, like, yeah, you'd...
Wait, no, you wouldn't make this one flat-footed, but this one.
All right, now I get the one, I get flat-footed, then.
Okay, yeah, the one in front of you.
Are you attacking the rider or the mount?
Uh, the mount.
Okay, so, yeah, just target the main icon and go ahead.
Yeah, I got it.
And, uh, yeah, so basically come in and then immediately just try to bite the hell out of it.
Just try to go for it next.
Starts tearing it down.
And we'll do a jaw attack first.
Big ol' bite.
I'm going to use a hero point because that is...
What did you roll?
Zorn the bear?
I rolled a one.
I rolled a one.
Thank you.
We're at two.
I rolled a three.
Oh.
Can I...
Can I...
Can I use it as a hero point?
No, you can't.
That does not have the rules work.
You may only do one re-roll.
You are not so epic that you can just ignore your own rules.
Please mark yourself down from three hero points to two and pass your turn, failed bear.
I did.
I did.
I did.
Okay.
It's my turn.
Shit.
Failed.
Failed.
All right.
Failed!
Well, um, all right, Baldrick.
Um, the one in front of you is no longer immobilized.
It has ended that effect.
Um, it will go and, um, he spends a command.
He spends an action to issue a command, um, to his horse.
Uh, in this case, uh, he's going to use his ability, which we've previously seen as, as this, like, rider to the north sort of, like, stirs on this acid-drenched skeletal horse.
The riffraff shall fall here, and your corpses will be mounted on spikes.
And he moves himself to the south as he does this, uh, directing, directing the horse.
I require, um, here.
Yes.
I require some will, uh, saves.
I will require will saves from, uh, Rahua, Tannhauser, and Baldrick.
Ah, shit.
But all the bad guys always want us on spikes.
Actually, wait.
No, never mind.
I just need to know your will DCs.
That's, that's the one.
Not, I don't need you to make will saves.
I just need to know what your, your will DC is, which will be 10 plus, uh, 17.
Okay.
10 plus mine?
Yeah.
10, 10 plus your, uh, 10 plus your, your will bonus.
Your will save.
Oh, so 16.
16.
Okay.
19.
All right.
So, yeah.
He, um, he does this, and all of you are sort of taken aback.
You're, you're, you're fighting, uh, creatures to the, to the south.
You're fighting the, the two that are sort of like sandwiched between you and this one
is now broken free of its bonds, moves down, uh, and kind of like startles all of you.
Um, rolled pretty well.
So each of you just gains the frightened condition for one round.
They're stealing my gimmick.
They are.
Um, as, as like he come, come south, he's directed the, the mount towards you, Baldrick.
That was his first action.
Uh, the mount, however, does get to take two actions as a result and will, um, attempt
to bite you as it comes down.
So.
All right.
Here we go.
Yeah.
Oop.
That's three ones.
That's, that's three natural ones.
Uh, it comes careening into like the side of grandma sweet's, um, entry entry, entryway
smashing into the sign.
It's like acid spraying out from where you've struck it with the bomb.
The sign is swinging back and forth.
Um, the, the, the horse is done.
The rider is attempting to maintain control, uh, still has two actions left and takes,
uh, it's a second action to attack you with their flail, sort of like bringing it down
towards you, Baldrick, as, as the horse has, has its issues.
Uh, we'll hit you, um, because you are now frightened.
So we'll strike you, uh, with their flail for grand total of five points of damage.
So I'll mark that on you.
Clunch.
Uh, and then attempts to, uh, do a second attack, uh, with their final action.
And misses you, um, yeah, as the, like the chain is kind of hitting into the signpost
and whacking around all around you.
Uh, crunch my, my good for, oh, and yes, the, uh, the persistent acid damage will then
affect the horse.
So they are still, uh, the, the, the, the horse is still dissolving under your acid bomb.
It looks incredibly wounded now, um, and is still quite acid.
All right.
So that brings us to crunch who, uh, after much, much trial and tribulation does manage
to get up.
Um, oh, oh, oh, how, how, how, how could I best, uh, uh, resist?
Get the horse.
Get the horse.
Oh, the horse.
Yes, of course.
That one.
Right.
Right.
Of course.
All right.
Good.
I've, I've done it.
All right.
Uh, so crunch moved twice together.
He done it.
Because our armor burdens him incredibly.
Uh, and that's crunch's guilt.
Good.
Good.
The rider beside you, Orin, uh, Orin, you have turned into a, to a bear.
That is correct.
Volley, Volley, however, has been the one to actually strike him.
Uh, so the rider.
I just brought it in, why don't you?
Yeah.
Fairly confused as to who.
So the rider is going to spend an action to direct the horse to attack you twice, while
the rider is going to focus efforts on, uh, Volley.
Bah!
Hell yeah.
Yeah.
So, uh, I will start off by having the horse that is, uh, in front of you, uh, chomp at
you twice, Orin.
So the first set of jaws come down.
Uh, for 24, so I believe that hits.
Does hit.
Uh, hits you for 11 points of damage.
That'll do it, Mega Man.
Orin the bear is slain.
Oh, slain.
Orin, yeah.
Uh, you still have those temporary, so I think those, uh, those got, got chunked out there
first.
Uh, a second set of jaws come towards you now, uh, or a second jaw attack as it makes a secondary
attack.
Not that time.
Misses, uh, critically misses, in fact, so your, your, your bare form manages to dodge out
of the way.
As this is going on, the rider, however, has now, uh, taken the opportunity to, uh, take
some attacks on Volley in hopes of, uh, potentially bringing Volley down.
Um, first attack, uh, comes in.
Ooh.
Ooh.
With a, uh, a strong to hit there, so.
Large?
That's, uh, that's a small hit.
Boop.
Uh, it's gonna do eight points of damage to you, Volley.
Uh, and then a second, uh, attack with the second action.
Uh, we'll just hit.
Uh, I'm going to Nimble dodge.
Yeah, Nimble dodge that.
So, yeah, you, you managed to dodge out of the way of the flail as it comes back for
a second, second round of attacks on you, uh, and misses, uh, entirely with that.
Okay.
That brings us, oh, and then the acid goes off on the, uh, horse, uh, which continues
to have acid chew into it, doing a good amount of damage, and the acid is still chewing
into the horse.
Uh, this brings us to Dr. Crim, who's looking around like, ah, ah!
Uh, and Dr. Crim and Globetalk sort of back off, uh, Dr. Crim targets the, the strange
zombified, like, creature with one of her, uh, bombs and tosses it.
Watch out.
It goes out.
It strikes, in fact, um, critically striking, because this thing doesn't have good armor class,
because it's a shambling zombie!
So, this smashes into it, um, the electricity arcing all over it.
Da-da-da-da!
Uh, ooh, doing ten points of damage.
Boop!
And also doing, uh, some, no, no, that's it, and flat-footed.
So, the, the zombified corpse kind of starts staggering in place as this incorporeal spirit
is trying to maneuver it, but it's just stuck there, spasming slightly.
And then you, you hear the, the, the telltale, uh, words of, GLUBTALK, HELP!
Um, and GLUBTALK proceeds to, uh, toss a vial at the skeletal rider, uh, or sorry, at the
skeletal mount, uh, that is engaged with, uh, several people, uh, and, uh, GLUBTALK tosses
a, uh, a small acid flask.
That little shit is gonna get it.
GLUBTALK will strike the target, um...
GLUBTALK's the type of homie you need when you're in the club to hold your hair.
GLUBTALK, HELP!
GLUBTALK, HELP!
GLUBTALK, HELP!
GLUBTALK, HELP!
GLUBTALK, HELP!
GLUBTALK, HELP!
GLUBTALK, HELP!
GLUBTALK, HELP!
GLUBTALK, HELP!
GLUBTALK, HELP!
And he, like, turns to you, Oren, and gives you, like, a thumbs up as the acid spray hits
GLUBTALK, HELP!
GLUBTALK, HELP!
Big thumbs up!
Uh, Baldrick is gonna turn around real quick and point directly at Krim while he is, like,
dodging flail blows.
STOP GIVING HIM GRENADES!
He just takes them!
He does what he wants!
MOVE HIM SOMEWHERE ELSE!
And she, like, tries to spend, like, what remains of her time, like, pinning down GLUBTALK,
who's moving around her shoulders, and, like, looking at Oren, like, GLUBTALK, HELP!
help i'm simpson strangling ten house to europe all right so this orange health bar does it
represent the horse or the rider or horse because the rider is over here yeah the riders are off
in the sides yeah okay uh let's see i could do something crazy or i could do something useful
um which would which would we all prefer how much hero point do you got three three hero point
good all right so do i now apparently uh okay cool yeah let's rock then i'm still on the horseback
right no no at the end you sort of like hopped off it as you got there oh okay okay yeah cool cool
um i'm going to do the following i'm going to take out my grappling hook my grappling gun i should say
oh oh yes of course uh and i'm going to fire it at this rider okay okay okay um
all right i i can get behind this okay yeah let's rock so uh what exactly would i have to roll would
you say like i have a hand crossbow would you let me know roll that i'll let you roll the attack so
so just target the rider here and then just cool cool all right no ammunition assigned that's awesome
let's get ammo there it doesn't matter i'm not actually shooting it just
that will just be a miss oh man i'm 19 you have three hero points i will have to re-roll
all right do that cool it's because of the frightened too yeah that's
that literally was just enough to be better oh that was so close okay i got it so you'll you'll
you will you will latch on with your uh with your shot so the grapple is on um i if you want to like
dismount this fellow which i assume is your plan here yeah what i'm gonna do is the following and
it's insane uh i'm going to we come off of the bremblo centipede please i simply can't stop you
understand uh i am going to then dimensional assault teleport to on top of this horse okay
and with my third action i am going to um wrap the grappling hook uh well actually i get to hit
the horse first with my normal just attack dc would you give me a would i would i suffer from
the attack uh what is it fuck up evil bad what would i would i suffer from the attack
and i was uh yes yeah because it is an attack because shooting is an attack so you'll take
the minus five yeah sure sure uh okay
so you appear on the horse attempt to to like stab it i'm also going to because you're attempting to
appear on top of a horse uh please give me a um gosh an acrobatics check you got it
because you gotta like balance on this horse that also has acid on it while the rider is swinging
at baldrick i'm gonna activate my nanite surge since this is important of course
colin's football you know i know i may need to rock another re-roll you you can it's a separate
roll and you do you need i'm gonna say it's a 15 just uh keep your shit going here there you go
there you go nice nice okay so yeah yeah you you hold on you you you teleport over you try to take a
swing at the uh the horse but it doesn't quite go uh you manage to to balance on this thing and i
assume with your last action you want to pull the guy towards you uh yeah i'm gonna wrap the rope
essentially around the horse's neck
okay um oh it might be cool to wrap around the guy's neck
uh and yeah i just want to i want to wrap it around this horse's neck
and i'm hoping that it will allow it to panic and start running um would you allow me to try and
intimidate check um okay so they're kind of like constructs aren't they yeah yeah the thing you
know is that these are like mindless like horses right so the the like mental effects aren't really
going to work here um i'm probably gonna say though like what is what is your you want this horse to
to run off essentially what i want to do is i want to have my grappling hook on this guy
i want to then get this horse to just start moving quickly and i want to yoink that guy and
drag him around the floor okay okay um i mean you you've basically got your grappling hook on this
guy or on this horse i should say and you're trying to get on this guy here to the southeast like the
grappling hooks on him um i think what you'll need to do as like the the final part of this to to let
you get away with some baby back bullshit here uh probably what you'll need to do is some kind of
test to like very quickly like actually tie it um so let's see here what do what do you have that
fucking is i get crafting yeah you know what sure that's like that that that seems about as
appropriate as anything and it's a decent skill you have absolutely i would say like crafting or
yeah hey 20 yeah sure so uh you're basically gonna tie it up basically what's gonna happen is
now that decide on the rider's turn he's gonna he's gonna make a check to see if he resists the
horse pulling in fair enough there we go baby back bullshit hell yeah all right i love it i love it my
man okay uh if you want to end your turn oh and uh so he has that uh you're frightened to go
down like you completely succeeded and kicked ass in fact uh you did so much fucking craziness there
you're like yeah like what could possibly go wrong um and then like duhakis dies apparently because i
took the death token uh no uh duhakis looks around the the gargoyle lady like
soulbinders evil violent dead oh help me out pretty elf boy and she runs behind prance
elf
is something i should know i don't say if you if you stab them and kill them they'll just take
over another corpse you have to deal with the ghost care to elaborate on how
magic ghost um you're up oh i am up aren't i yeah you're you're standing in like smoke from um
from baldrick's prior uh smokestick uh you've got like a wild skeletal horse in front of you
you have a grappling hook like tether that's like between you and like the this rider it's kind
of like straddling the way um it's there's a lot going on around you also orin's a bear
there's a joke there about that but i don't want to i don't want to make it right now
so uh seeing the ever-present chaos around me normally this is chaos that ruhu would be okay with given
you know his existence i think the best course of action would be to beat the ever-loving fuck out
of this horse and its rider so i'm gonna go sicko mode i'm gonna attack him with the mossy mace on
the rider or the horse uh well they share a health pool no no so so so the the horse is the token
that's here and then the riders i have off to the side right over here
well let's let's deal with the the small health bar at hand let's just make an attack against that
for right now yeah absolutely um who did this target the horse and eat the horse the target is
lock here we go the nozzle the nozzle oh yes very good very good uh yeah so your mace comes up and
you um like smash it down you'd actually hit by nine because you are flanking which i forgot to put
in there so there we go um thank you but uh yeah you'll you'll hit please roll me damage absolutely
here we go try me again thurston what is the threshold uh plus 10 okay so if if ruhu had not
uh been frightened and had had rolled that he would have crit uh but in this case he last did not
because he is still a scared tree boy uh okay so yeah three points of damage onto the to the horse you
kind of like smash into it with the the mace it unlike uh some of the other weapons it doesn't appear
uh to have any resistance to your bludgeoning so your bludgeoning is just like hammering into it kill
uh i'm gonna just i'm gonna keep making attacks against this i'm gonna go sicko mode hits it for
three damage
i appreciate you gotta do what you gotta do i really appreciate the ruhu cleric like
i have positive energy for under fuck that hammer
actually i'm gonna immediately backtrack on what i said because uh our teammates not super well
off because because you're also like holy shit i'm a spell cast do i need to be the healer again
we're just gonna multi-class it's fine uh hulk he's fine hulk he just needs reminding
sometimes yeah i'm gonna send out a little bit of heal that should be able to do that i oh you
you've used an action you have two actions left you could do a distance heal um for the the twofer
uh i will i will do that okay so are you sure can we take a rest in the middle of combat
oh yeah can we just take a time out real quick you know what no good hold on i stopped by tokyo can
we just can we table this for about five seconds oh my god all right so um you would then be healing
uh d8 plus eight and you can pick one target within what 30 feet i just forget the exact range
on the second we have 30 feet so anyone within 30 feet well of course that's going to be my good
friend oran the bear oran the bear target you can also use it on
undead and damn oh that's so good so but you know what i have a hero point for that yeah that
only applies to d20 is my oh shit wrecked damn it's one plus eight it's one plus eight yeah
you get nine points of health for the two actually go i got you i got you one for a two action heal you
can heal nine hit point boop he could have healed like 16 yeah you're healing light i assume that like
you've got this like healing light coming out of you and at the last minute like the the rope from
the grappling hook just smacks you in the side of the head i know if you would like to end your turn
yeah i can't metagame anymore oh i know all right wild solar titan too long wild horse continues to
fucking wildly attack um that's wild it's wild wild it's got hp it can't take me on i'm gonna
fuck it up it would be so funny if it like ran right into like you know the graphic hook line
like you know in the space behind me would that be funny if it just died
love you be great if the gn rolled some dice privately i did oh no hello orrin it's going to attack you again
jaws come down gets a four i fail second second attack
also failed i'm gonna roll a 20 here here it comes
i was close but no 17 17 it's like flailing around trying to bite you but now you're a
strong bear and higher gravity makes it harder to hit yeah exactly
okay cool uh that's the wild horse process like all right uh mrs hacky we should be gearing is this way
can come on me and uh he sort of like takes two hawkis run away following volleys last orders
baldrick you're up okay so let me house around the horse in front of you that is currently like
covered in acid um standing right beside a smoky area with rahua in it with a wild horse tears
so let me ask something if i move away from this horse and rider am i going to incur a
uh attack of opportunity despite the fact he's tangled up the only time that would happen is if
the creature has attack of opportunity because not everyone innately has attacks of opportunity
well you said previously that you've been moving away would not incur attack of opportunity i needed
to clarify that yeah yeah no no no so sorry sorry sorry stepping away as you like being predictive
um i think in the past we've kind of um clarified these specific npcs don't have attacks
of opportunity so you're good to just take a move i am going to narratively declare something
stupid perhaps good good remind me thurston uh does necrotic damage heal undead oh are you looking to
use a necrotic bomb i'm asking okay so the way that it works is there's two types of like positive and
negative um essentially if if it like if it's damage typically undead are immune to it but they
won't get healed by it there's like certain things that will say like healed like healed by negative
energy or healed by positive or damaged by positive um so generally speaking unless it specifies that it
heals something the necrotic bomb would not like heal it but it might damn like it wouldn't damage it
because it's immune okay that's all i needed to know thank you yeah essay answer okay i need to take
something else yes i have used three charges this entire combat i think yeah three so i've got four left
need to think i'll tell you what because speaker would you say you have this guy handled or shall i help
you um i think i've got him handled one can only hope uh in that case
thurston would you say that if i perhaps had a you'd say these are more constructs right
um i would say they're that they're undead so they're construct they're mindless undead
but they would have had to have been put together correct yes and they are skeletal underneath correct
yes he's leading me down a path chat this is always dangerous i'm asking you yeah don't worry
i'm asking i'm not telling you how to play this of course would you say that if i were to say make
an engineering check i could discover a fault you know what yeah i would i would allow that here
then i'm going to try for that because of course that would be a standardized you know
standardized thing so i would assume that i'm going to just kind of do a quick check here okay
do you want me to use a hero point for that no no no you can i'll allow it
uh 17 will that suffice or shall i roll again with a hero point okay so you're looking for like
structural flaws in these things not something that's like a death star vent port but definitely
something that would not respond well to a type of attack yeah you could tell that you might be able
to like like like if you struck it in a very specific area you might be able to be more
effective with like bludgeoning damage or any of the types of damage that it's not normally um
resistant to which with your check you would be able to tell that it would be like cold electricity
fire piercing or slashing would not be super effective okay well i have a blunt weapon let me
think so that's one action yes what would this position be um kind of like just under its uh
like where its neck is seems to be fairly uh fair fairly open and susceptible that being said as this
happens the uh the fires all begin to sputter and die out as uh it starts to rain very good i love
rain it's it smells nice helps wick away the stink of garbage garbage so with that in mind uh thurston
i am going to try to coach rahua a little bit on some engineering faults okay yeah and by that i mean
i'm going to move up to this horse and strike it in the aforementioned spot that i just remembered
okay try to being the operating word i cannot move why not there we go i target and i'm going to just
strike with club in uh will i incur a penalty for attacking that specific spot uh it won't take
penalties but you'll get flanking so i've applied it um and when you would tank it or the when you
attack it when you attack it um if you hit you'll just you do extra with its weakness so okay i'm gonna
swing my club because it's it's a it's weak to club weak to club block damage swing and a four is not
acceptable so i'm gonna re-roll that with a hero point absolutely
sorry i had to put all three hero points there yeah you're good re-roll with the hero point
be better not really 12 uh no no so so you identify you move you attack but last your attack just misses
the the horse is like bucking uncontrollably its attempts to attack or and make it really difficult to
it
hi it will be your go baltric is it it is you've taken your three actions please pass on the turn
no i don't think now that the the electricity is somewhat uh faded on the uh the strange zombified
body it uh continues to move up and uh comes up behind you oran
the spectral figure like maneuvers the hands to like claw towards you of this deceased outrider
um and it like it seems to be speaking um with this like raspy tone
souls your soul uh and it goes to attack you what's your offer
15. no that'll hit you uh four
whoops uh one sec it will hit you for i apparently didn't input the damage correctly
one second it's going to hit you for a lot of damage i swear as i just pull up the document that
okay cool um
jump it it's 2d6
yeah okay so so much for the heel grabs you from behind um so moves does that and then um
valley hit valley i don't want to die
get murdered what's your fortitude save for my friend uh my fortitude save is exactly anything
okay so it grabs you okay so it grabs you oh no grappling it's gravel
do you have the grab to condition sir
you need me to get that for you it would help if i yeah yeah yeah one sec i i tried to like that
like greg okay i tried to drag the condition onto you and it like put the condition as a token on the
map for some reason i'm like oh no mr crab just entered the fight okay uh yeah so like you're
you're you're offending off these two these two steeds or in like once right then this zombie
comes up behind you grabs you tears into your your bear ursine shoulders and blood is coming out and it's
pulled you back uh that is this thing's go um volley you are you are up in this cacophony of madness
oh god all right well um can you do something about that zombie currently see fear in orange
oh my god i'm trying to fend away you you know you see like those panicked bears or whatever they're
like oh shit like oh shit like he's basically that with the horse and the zombie as he's going back
and forth to slashing oh you can help me this thing baby boy all right i'm gonna i'm gonna turn
around on this zombie uh and i'm going to uh stab through its arm trying to wrench it off of uh
orrin you can uh go behind it so you can flank it that is true uh but that would use an action
yes um that would use an action and i do definitely want to versus that zombie still fly floated
uh uh no actually yeah that's true i'm sorry i'm sorry no no no i don't imagine it has an extremely
high ac so i don't think i need to flank it yeah roll that too roll of that i'm gonna be so sad
all right uh i'm gonna stab his ass your violence won't do
you that's critical yay yeah you create this bomb with a finisher i assume with a finisher of course
we got a crit uh i wasn't extremely good crit damage but 18 it's more than that thing has
probably well damage that i can do yeah oh wait you're piercing right yeah okay god damn it
you're piercing that's right that's cool i like doing this to me thurston no i gotta do that to you
uh for those of you who are listening you can see the tiny nubbin of the health remaining as you have
like pierced perfectly through this thing uh like causing most of the tethers to come up but this
spectral creature is holding on by one little nubbin holding its uh zombified corpse upright in place
i despise this little bastard i'm gonna shoot him in the face
i use gun
it's not better than the rapier but this time it's personal
please misfire just like i'm gonna cry yes oh wait multi-attack yes
bang bang no uh that'll hit that'll hit all right damage please burn me damage it's very impo oh my god
i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna end it all
how many hit it oh my hit it you hit it but then rolled one damage out there you're pretty for
podcasts but jesus christ there you go
it's still alive it's still alive it's still alive
the way the cookie crumbles can i re-roll the damage of the hero points you cannot
punch it no sorry make a tiny baby noise
that's good volley what would you like your third action
attack him you need to kill it before zoran dies he almost certainly only has one hp what if i just
punched it because you still suffer map minus eight yeah rather than 10
i'm fucking yeah just punch him i don't know kill it
okay thirsty you gotta tell me if it has more than one hp left
it has one hp
you did one damage and it cut the amount of health it had left in half it has one health
you could you could certainly do that whether or not that is the best opportune action you have i
mean is it a multi-attack penalty at 10 or five uh it's multi-attack minus eight for an unarmed
minus 10 for a rapier or a pistol shot can you letter you a monk no okay does does the punch do
non-lethal damage no i hate you i'm gonna stab it
i hate you people but i have to watch out for you
hostile gm
well i can't you're looking at that so yeah i'll try to i'll try to stab it thurston you're lucky i
fucking you're lucky i fucking said anything because if that went through and it's like
oh it was non-lethal damage i would say i'm actually gm i think you were fine
i'm gonna spend a hero point i feel like it's worth it how much is it how much is it missing by
we don't know it's ac oh god we don't know it's ac but we know that it's not super high yeah
well that's not gonna god damn it i fucking love you like none of you change please none of you
what's never been mentioned is that this uh before becoming a zombie the citizen was a navy seal
this is literally the outrider that you killed ten this is just that one
remember warham's fantasy campaign that one uh uh protagonist guy that we were punching in the
tavern oh my god he's finally come back he's back back from the dead fine that was my three actions
i'm gonna look at this guy and be like you are one tough son of a bitch and i hate you i just love
the expression on that token too that's the expression it gives you back yeah i think you will find that
what odo just said is a taunt so please have a roll intimidate or pass the turn or it's you
out of here oh my god oren who's scared out of his mind because he's not been this deadly of a
situation before yeah is that like just out of just pure fear he's lashing out so first um just run
away the first he's gonna have to kill he can't run away he's grappled he's grabbed yes he has to kill
the um he's going after the guy first he's gonna bite the shit out of the zombie you know you're
he just tries to get away and he is going to roll a 17 which does hit it will kill him it will kill
him and he will do 15 points of damage okay okay a few things happen good
the zombie corpse collapses to the ground
the incorporeal figure remains in the space is a pep and grapple
fuck but it's not grabbing you anymore because it's incorpore actually you need to i think you need
to roll a d20 for me because i was grappled to see if my attack succeeds or not i think oh um
yeah one one sec um or do you want to just bullshit it away because we just got to this point
uh if you attempt to manipulate yeah just roll a roll a d20 yeah okay i saw that too we're good
all right and uh he's he's flailing around and he's kind of scared out of his wits i'm gonna roll
basically odds is horse and even his spectral thing wait how are you immobilized again
special thing no no longer uh it says you're immobilized on the thing though oh no that means
the foot means flat-footed that means okay can you please just run instead
don't be don't get mauled to death by whatever this thing he's gonna do the graveyard suck on you
know what fine i'll have him i'll have him run okay five
he's gonna run over this run over this way behind the uh barrels and stuff and he will dismiss the
bear horn thank you as his final action okay sweet and take off left foot there we go and that will
be the end of orange turn he's like usually you just hear just just you it's just fear he just he's
running he doesn't want to be near this he's behind a barrel just is he saying anything like
is he's running no he's he's just huffing and puffing he's getting out of there okay no more
all right uh so we have the writer that's with tan hauser right now do a little bit of a quality time
here oh my gosh um okay well um how the fuck do i even um
there's there's there's things i need to need to move this token briefly so i can target you
because pretty much everything i'm gonna do is gonna target you um
oh god first off the rider will issue command to the horse to try to get you the fuck off and attack
you um though i'm going to give you a plus 2 to your ac because it's like trying to like rear its
head around at you uh tan hauser so let's do that i assume i'm now essentially immortal
yeah that's exactly how that why did you cast the shield spell i did not mean to pass the kids
well i'm sure you were trying to like open it to look at it but you cast the no it's i have uh
i have one of those mmo mouses and i accidentally pressed five oh it's on your hell yeah mouse five
brother oh oh i'll hit you no you won't because uh plus two to my ac they say i included it there's
head thrash in there minus two ah what a shame yeah so i'll i'll hit you and this head like rams
into you for 13 points as it like he's biting into your leg uh like the crack oh i can't
glad to know that 13 damage will kill that thing yeah exactly it's good it's not
it's it's it's really hard because like speaker has this fucking thing of like constantly i want
to ride or be in the same space as this creature and i will allow it but this fucking makes like
token management weird um okay so it um will move so i can fucking apply damage here it will
play me damage to you um then i require you to give me a acrobatics check got it got me just find my
acrobatics mail okay 16 is enough for you to like hold on to this thing um the horse tries to take a
second attack at you um again it's going to take a minus two so it's actually going to be at minus
uh seven so we'll see if this will even like come close to hitting you probably not
new it critically misses you by 12 as it's like just thrashing around right now uh the rider at this
point has still has two actions left um we'll use the i think we will have him oh gosh yeah let's let's
you know what what what's what are weapons for if not to use their special properties right
right you know i agree with you depending on how convenient it is for me
okay okay okay cool cool cool thank you louis anderson okay uh well um this guy has a flail
he is going to attempt to use the flail to trip you off of his fucking horse
the fail has the trip property so there are no penalties to attempting this um this will be
an athletics check that he will make which will be opposed by uh your fortitude dc so 10 plus
your fortitude so he'll get a 23 yeah yeah so he wins okay so then what i'll say is this it's not
a crit so you can just land in an adjacent square so like here here here basically there is no way
they trained you to do that um and then like his like eyes stare like again the grappling hook is sort
of like in front of him like like down at him um and and he's looking at you and like
he just like these eyes pierce into yours tan hauser and the the outrider speaks to you while
raising up their their flintlock pistol and and just says you're ridiculous and fires
uh tan hauser feels that more than he's felt any actual i could just be like yeah i will eat your
bones if i could speak her i'll be like whatever dog and i'm like ridiculous no that's a really good
response i love that oh that's ridiculous you'll love to see it no no no no that was the pinned guy
no that was the pinned guy oh that's right because he's that's right that's why i tactically pinned him
because he couldn't do anything but the pistol so okay he attacks with the flag you know what no he
he he tries to use it again and the gun is like absolutely destroyed entirely because at first it
would have just been broken now it's completely destroyed all right do damage to him now character
sheet um all right do damage you know what yeah sure here he takes six points of piercing damage on
his own turn because what the is reality sure uh as his hand is like he's like lets out this like
like shouting scream um that's all cool
you fool you forget i have a very good memory no it's good oh fucking the horse okay the horse is
still like getting eaten by acid don't worry it takes basically nothing it's still actually it takes
a good amount like a good roll there would destroy it would have destroyed it like an average roll would
him so it's um it's it's still pretty pretty beat the beat the shit up uh
crunch do something
believe there's a tactic
hit the damn thing all right give me a moment i'm i'm i'm analyzing where i should strike you see
there's a few options and this thing is like bucking wildly and would he have a shot at the weak point
that's what he's kind of like you can tell he's like trying to suss it up can i free action point
at it yes that point in the sternum hit there
bang and you hear this like cracking as his hammer comes up i'm spending crunch's hero point to
actually reroll something um why are these private rules uh because reasons um and then let us know how
powerful he is i cannot let you know crunches crunches abilities um it it is entirely related
to deep lore of the game he he like just
massacres this horse by like popping its head off with his hammer and the head goes like spiraling up
into the air oh you see a very good hit i could have had it on my own uh mr baldrick though it you
know i didn't need your help we're dying here well you know just all right uh oh and then he spends
his next action to move are you all right master oran i've come to execute you oran doesn't i'm with
the tyrant skills now they offered me a deal no no it's good no he comes over to you like crunch
comes over to you oran and it's like oh master oran you you appear to be uh looking very rough
it's like oran doesn't answer his wings are kind of covering and everything else oh my god
weenie boy
all right uh well we have this other one here who i guess
fuck that they're spiteful dicks um one sec uh the first action the the rider takes is to command
the horse uh to attack volley twice oh goodbye volley what i missed oh why are they really privately
still i i look i will i will stop shooting i missed and then i will do a second attack with
the horse and volley also and i will also miss i love how the one person i can never critically miss
is volley i know and i'm the one who actually who can like do something um now that was the the the
command action um then the the rider's first action is to utilize their flintlock pistol and they
shoot at oran who is hiding um just wait they will also take a cover penalty from the barrels
and the tree well and the tree but the mostly the cover uh and they shoot at oran
oh god
it was now it was his gun blows up so close too um yeah yeah it is his gun does not uh actually
actually thurston i think you will find the hero he narratively declare his gun blows up
knock me down a hero point sir um and then there's some key knock me down a hero point i want him to
have a second gun thank you yeah fuck yeah knock knock her down i'll kill oran yeah pvp p okay no um
um hey he used an action he can't use it right now that's true all right so then the rider spends his
uh next action to attack you volley uh with with the flailing once
and misses barely miss very sad very sad um sag time and then at the end of this
the horse takes uh four points of damage from glubtox acid and is still being eaten
speaking of glubtox and dr crim if he helps me one more goddamn time i will declare her hostile
i will charge her and engage her in melee well now he has to
one of them will die let's get the ghost all right we have to use magic for that
shit don't we okay and she uh she attacks the ghost folly you are in splash zone yes i'm in both
splash zones wait hold on never mind uh well the attack uh does does does hit the soul binder which
is cool um and we'll do uh let's see here let's hear that zap zap oh my god it's such a good attack
zap um and then we'll uh do uh two points of splash damage to you valley oh
um that was dr crim but glubtox action oh no glubtox runs through the war-torn battlefield clutching
clutching a vial running towards oran clambering up the the like the the barrels and stuff and holding
this like red potion um comes up and offers it uh to you oran this and he looks into your eyes this
little like fetal homunculi glubtox help and offers you this this this this potion i thought you were
gonna say he breaks it over his head he stabs into that it's a fireball potion with the shaky hand oran
takes it okay would you would you like to imbibe it you mean use it yes would you like to drink it
yes you're gonna give me free actions hell yeah cool
you get lesser dark vision nice and he just smiles and nods at you like like he's so happy like hard
help that thing is going into the pile of spare organs
who glubtox or oran i mean oran will be regardless of what we do at this point
all right uh ted hauser uh save us yeah you're up my friend
i think i'd like to have a conversation with this gentleman uh i'm going to uh actually wait i forgot
something uh on this person's turn i needed to give have them make a reflex save or they will be hurled
off at the end of their turn based okay no they're so good the grappling hooks on them but
they're they're still they're still holding on why is his base modifier nine plus five because i
mean they boys yeah they they're they're fast boys is what they are huh we're gonna start out
and i'm gonna go ahead and make a spell strike onto this poor rider uh whipping out my rapier i'm
going for the heart get him get him get this i don't get him does my fear fall off yet it falls
off at the end of your turn because you were at fear two last turn and then it dropped now it's
this turn then it'll drop off at the end of this okay cool cool that's a good one five damage from
the rapier yep and then we're going to get the gouging claw yeah ammo magic smash his brains off
that's a good one yeah oh yeah you like you look like really uh telling blow to him he's uh turns to
you kind of now taking attention away from from baldrick um temporarily who was running off and now
focuses on you tan hauser uh staring with the the flail in hand and the you know smoking wreckage
of like pierced uh pierced bleeding wounds in his hand tan hauser's going to look up at this gentleman
i want you to understand something and then lastly he's just going to leap up and place his hand around
his neck iron cannot dent steel and i'm going to use my last focus slot the unforced fang and just
hydraulically crush okay so let's rock it uh this is just auto damage yeah roll the damage
four damage yeah he just like kind of continues recoiling from from the attack
he is looking incredibly beaten you can see like blood coming out of the the face mask he wears uh
their their rents on his armor from your gouging attack yeah and then at the end of your turn you're
no longer frightened yay we did it all right we have to we have to get ah ah oh no um
uh there's a problem elaborate what kind of problem
something's coming something's what something's coming from down the street
why haven't you finished this riff-raff off yet
oh crunch crunch trundle crunch crunch trundle crunch crunch as uh all of you begin to hear uh
quickly approaching the sound of turning gears and mechanized parts as in the far southern distance
oh no approaches oh the dreaded chainsaw car and let's take a break uh-oh spaghetti oh all right break
time break time before our inevitable demise everyone go get some snacks with death and defeat oh no
oh you're getting around though oh great all right guys go get some snacks and slap some ass we'll be
right back as our adventures take a break we'd like to take a moment and thank our sponsor you you
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all right hi we're back sorry for blaring people's ears with that welcome back everybody i think we were
recently getting murdered uh yeah well we're we're going to rahua um rahua my my friend yes um you
you are the one who gets to act just in time to see um our friend duhakas point out something that
has just arrived on scene to the south uh duhakas and prance have both like quickly rushed off to the
sides to avoid the onrushing vehicle of chains um some kind of chainsaw car oh hunky some kind of
chainsaw car you know i had my mental breakdown last session i can't do it again some kind of hot tub
time machine i'm gonna grab your head and shake it and turn into the jelly
so rahua what do you want to do my my my fine tree-like friend
so noticing the chainsaw car rapidly approaching it moves fast down the street oh
oh an insensate rage begins to well within rahua unknown as to why good his eye turns red
you you are the creature from my nightmares riley what's going on out there riley
the chainsaw car grandma the chainsaw car is back
oh no i'll get my blunderbuss no this time it is a real boy's work to take care of add her to the
target list you bastard i will use a hero point to prevent her from being targeted
oh grandma oh grammy so what are you doing uh so for who else was gonna actually is this elko
going to be in this right here is that space enough for me to move into like stair farewell
where's that roof i can't tell
um that is that is a wall so no you cannot go
okay yeah
now
yes what i want to do is just murderize the horse and then kind of move with whatever i have left
that that makes sense
yeah you know i think my might makes right in the situation i just i need to do this it would
feel wrong if i didn't i'm gonna attack this with the mace uh aiming towards the weak point that
you motherfucker what my grandma on the fucking table you fucking we're gonna rock
cry we kill grandma's grandma got run over by a chainsaw
they are coming down the alley kill missing you guys coming next door you might think you don't
believe in change cause but as for me and grandpa we're scarred for life
actually i changed my mind this is what's playing in the background all right let's
gonna kill the pants off for grandma what are you doing what are you doing what are you doing
i'm gonna make some pants out to grandma no no no punch weak point now
oh fuck uh you have a hero point you have several points room i would like to use a hero point now
i would like to use the hero point now okay i'm gonna i'm gonna alert you i'm not gonna say anything
specific we need to use these
what makes you say that urndel yeah because i'm not pulling any punches and this thing has a delicious
suite of things oh yeah you hit it good that works absolutely oh damage sure
nice six damage
so that will uh end the horse and then the rider will right there
as he like falls down um like manages to actually i will you know what oh
shit uh this is actually not gonna be good uh
he will take a minus four penalty here because he's grapple
diving because he still has a grappling hook on him
wow okay uh he's holding on but like so this grappling hook is now on the ground um
seems kind of like perturbed by the presence of the chainsaw car but manages to land on his feet
um that was your first action uh rahua what are you going to do now
i need more actually yeah now while i can move and act another turn i've i have to ask thursday
yeah what will it take for me to shove these two back into the restaurant
um because i would have to barrel through baldrick to get to grandma
yeah i can't let my grandma get hurt because she's that would be an athletics test to shove
but kind of depends on a few things so you'd have to get real lucky shoving baldrick
or baldrick could let you through and you could shove grandma sweet back in the door
baldrick weathers do you intend to fight this horrible mechanical monstrosity uh i know what
this thing can do i'm getting the hell out of here okay do not resist then i'm going to attempt
the athletics check to shut just literally linebacker rush these two into the restaurant riley who's the
bucket yeah uh please give me an athletics check my my friend here it comes on that 20
so like you manage with your first action to shove both of them into the i don't know where did
baldrick go i destroyed he's gone yeah i just like that ended baldrick out of space and time um
um yeah to push them both like into the building and then yourself just oh i didn't want to go down
here oh okay where do you want to go like oh yeah it doesn't matter now i'm here yeah he pushes you
into the restaurant my man i don't know if you know what this thing is capable of but that's not gonna stop
it we're in trouble i am doing the best i can that was
your second action with a crit success to shove them into the restaurant what's your last action rahua
rahua is going to stare down this mechanical monstrosity yes and just begin walking towards
or in like colliding with a wall hold on oh yeah no no you want to just like run under the underhang
like to like like there sort of thing yeah because i can't get past it with my move speed okay okay
cool cool all right um so that will end your turn if you want to hit the end turn button oh wait yep i
was gonna ask am i able to use like i'm not sure how high all these detritus is stacked high if i can
like kind of surmount it oh yeah yeah it's basically just difficult terrain like it's gonna count as two
squares to like shift okay i think i should have enough to move cool
all right uh is that it for your go then because you pushed oh yes pushed moved so that'll be it right
yes all right if you'd like all right so um erndale um so but but before you describe that there are two
there are two figures on top of the the approaching chainsaw car which has now entered onto the the
street scene uh running down at high speed um the first one seems to be an austere fellow who looks
around and surveys surveys surveys the battlefield like a king uh someone who is bedecked in fine
luxurious purple robes has a scabbarded uh weapon at his side which is encrusted with jewels upon
jewels holds a platinum scepter also inlaid with various gems um this fellow looks upon the battlefield
as a king might survey their kingdom clearly clearly not a member of the tyrant's guild but one of the
possible elite nobles of outsets
and this figure looks about from the perch up top there he is the bastard and now erndale you may
you may uh describe uh your character who is on top of this along with this fellow adjacent to
this character the hegemon is a reasonably sized elf he's he's got the usual height to him you know
between six and seven feet he's kind of hunched over at the moment got his hands on the railing of the
large tower that is atop the iron baron uh this gentleman has a crop of rather long
pale blonde hair and he has a cut directly across the bridge of his nose from like basically cheek to
cheek across the bridge of his nose he is decked in tyrant's guild finery a long black trench coat with
spikes and of course the usual menacing dangerous things however unlike earlier when he was in
the restaurant with rahua his expression has shifted to be markedly more annoyed
surveying the battlefield and seeing all the dead tyrant's guild troops
his voice is shifting down and he appears to be commanding whoever is piloting the vehicle
you all have failed to earn your broth today and so i believe it is time for us to cut our losses
uh erndale you may control this token and do as you see fit um i'm just done
uh with that the iron baron well i should say baron whitworth the gentleman atop in the uh tyrant's
guild finery he whips a hand forward with such ferocity that it makes a whip crack sound effect
and points a finger directly ahead forward the machine grinds and churns against the ground kicking
up cobblestones and barrels directly towards dr krenn
who is well within striking distance goodbye dr kren
i was really hoping is that that guy by your house would have timed his car perfectly the only time
we need him if if only zoran if only uh baron whitworth shall use the attack melee sawmouth
dr crim turns please target dr crim and make your attack roll i have targeted her club dog help
goodbye dr crim uh that is a crit please uh roll critical damage hey hey thurston i need you to
know uh i'm going to get i'm going to get bloody here yeah absolutely critical hit damage is a 72.
okay uh grin is sucked into the blades and spat out the sides as bone shards and gristle
oh my god oh uh this activates an ability on the thing blood oil when the iron baron kills a small or
larger creature with a sawmouth strike the iron baron is quickened for one minute yes
but i hate gnomes get away uh that was two moves it's going to you are quickened now so you gain the
effect so you will have actually two more actions terrific it is going to charge forward
mm-hmm and just blitz past churning up the rest of the corpses on the way yeah uh it's going to just
straight up attack what's what's nearest because this thing is just charging madly he's not ordering
it to attack anything he wants to clear the goddamn you have a buffet of options erndel
okay so he moves up to here careening forward
mm-hmm all right so let's see we got crunch and we got the ghost uh crunch is off to the side i
will say in this instance it will hit the ghost because it's right there okay wait it's incorporeal does
it take physical um it it would take physical if the physical damage was high enough yes
i don't think we have any i don't think we have any threat of that let's do another sawmouth
shall we okay sure absolutely remember the multiple attack penalty oh yes excuse me i need
to do map minus five my how could i forget how could i forget yep how could i forget as it oh
the ghost flies away like nope nope nope no
the coast fears the chainsaw we didn't want the ghost to do that
no you wanted the cast it was a natural one it was a natural one it was a natural one
uh the baron looks down to the side and immediately like stomps on the the the cupola
it's like what the bloody hell was that why'd you let it get away
oh blast one of us sir it's one of us i don't give a damn they've all failed recycle them
yes it will end its turn okay uh the soul binder will go it will
uh
skeletons nice dead uh captain valley what do i do
captain valley can you hear me we can now yeah we can wait can you get on the roof
i i can try i believe in you he will attempt to climb
he will begin climbing up the side he will get up a grand total of 15 feet
that is a prostitute shelf uh baldrick
uh shite there's can i run through the restaurant do you have a map made for the restaurant i do not
have a map made for the restaurant baldrick is going to flee the field baldrick's out of here
yeah just like the map is inadequate for our needs we we clearly intended grandma sweets to be in this
exact location as exactly yeah
yeah listen that's that's all that's all i'm gonna do i can't do anything in this move
like find door open door okay yeah sure you're you're you're like riley are you okay out there riley
oh grandma sweet hears the distinctive sound of something being horrendously pulverized
so that was that was by the way that was dr krinn and the other person the other like
night the other uh tyrant's guild guy's corpse so they're they're just they're no one can dental
records yeah oh god wow
metal uh all right uh volley um i'll give you it's good news though guys he's only at the top so
literally you have the entirety of this round to get out
uh yeah here's what i'm gonna do uh seeing that the fucking chainsaw car is here
um i'm not particularly muscly so i can really only get myself up
um so i'm going to uh just vault up onto the roof trying to acrobatically find some footholds up there
uh just kind of spring okay give me an acrobatics check
give me an acrobatics check folly yeah
that's a 22. uh you can start climbing up um so you move half speed for like a first attempt as
you like hop up these are these are 20 foot tall so how what's your move speed right now uh my move
speed without panache 35 is 35. okay so you're like part way up you'll have to give me a second check to
reach the top though sure
move project
26. yeah you managed to like hop up get up top ding
um with my final action so am i above the saw blades at this point uh like yes however it does
have like adjustable chain blades that can shoot out that you're aware of
speaker d designed this speaker i sure did
speaker his speaker sewing this is awesome speaker reaping this sucks
no regrets listen your conjuration has given me the much needed blood
um now i want okay i want to describe this because i think it's very important for voli's character
so you like jump up on this like the the woodwork and stonework of these buildings hopping up to the
top um landing on top of this like wooden structure and as like as you look out there's the the gray over
cast guy but you just see like a field of um rooftops ahead of you some of them like up and
down giving a kind of haphazard mosaic but like there's very clearly a path to freedom should you
choose to abandon your companions voli would never abandon our crew i think jesus christ uh
i'm gonna turn the guy in purple he's looking like pompously down at everyone right
uh he is he is and in fact as you like look at him there's there's some like slight twinge of
memory as you see this figure uh yeah i'm gonna turn and i'm gonna aim a shot at him
i'm going to uh take a take a pistol shot uh i can't target him so i'll just target the chainsaw
card um just roll the roll the attack don't target anything oh okay gotcha yeah right
hey that's pretty good 27 yeah the the bullet goes out and like impacts him uh in the shoulder
causing him to sort of jut back can you roll damage for me yes damn that's good not bad for a pistol
shot yeah pistol shot goes a bang and goes like and you you suddenly just hear atop the like the
grinding and suddenly with the grinding you hear the the and watch as the the chainsaw car kind of
like lifts up and down um as you hear the as though several explosives are going off inside of it um
um doesn't seem too affected by this but like it looks like it's from maybe uh dr crim it uh maybe
detonated some of it got to her tool belt yes um and like like you can see the the the fellow on
top sort of like shakes unsteadily at this uh and then like washes over like the rod like over the
battlefield this platinum is just this this this this awful laugh that comes over um the field of
battle and you just hear this marvelous marvelous um at the sound of that tanhauser you feel like some
deja vu at the like sheer presumptiveness of this voice something that like strikes a memory chord with you
where do i remember it from um so do you remember when you were in the uh the
room with the fire basin in the temple um after you fell into the sinkhole yes and you remember
the vision you had there of the streets ablaze and outset and then the the awful awful man who
had this voice that just was the most pompous and arrogant thing you've ever heard it seems to be this
voice
this is the enemy uh volley that will be the end of your turn uh if you want to pass it over to orin
uh orin as you have like quaffed the the potion that has given you the ability to see slightly more
clearly in this gloomy overcast you now see glub talk has turned away from you horrified to see
dr crim eviscerated by the approaching chainsaw car his hands are still outstretched towards you
in an offering of the potion but his face is turned and is completely horrified at the sight of of its
creator being dismembered and then the subsequent insult of the explosions uh from the the tool belt
glub talk glub talk
hey glub talk
glub talk glub talk
glub talk get in my backpack glub talk
turns to you with like the biggest puppy dog eyes you've ever seen hop in my backpack glub talk
glub talk
glub talk live and glub talk like crawls over getting into your backpack
glub talk required i will add glub talk to your inventory he's been added to your inventory
i would like so there's some i like to make a narrative declaration but it might be too
bullshit the game accounts wise sure i i i want to bring it up first you can tell me yes or no
i want to cast gale blast but i want to try so basic gale blast the base is like boom big gust of
wind it went around to get hit and they get pushed back and stuff my narrative declaration is be able
to use this spell as if try to direct it down below to catch wind under orange wings okay to launch him
up into the air in the goal for this i'm willing to i'm willing to dump as many hero points if i need
to for this i only have two left yeah that uh to get up to a height to where i am level up with
the nobleman and the other guy on the chainsaw car okay
yeah sure as glub talk gets in his thing and he looks at rahua going like and he's like like crunch
can't go very fast oh don't worry about me master oren i i i have i have some some life left in these
these legs of mine as i don't as i don't worry who i try to get yourself out of here i could at least
use my wings to help out and basically goes right up into the air yeah so what was that spell called
again gail gail gail blight i'll i'll put it down here just so you can have an idea of it i don't know
how but we'll say we want to no no no i got you i got you you're like like basically like okay i'm gonna
let you do this um however um i will say that it will you'll you'll spend the narrative declaration
to do this um i want you to roll the the damage on this so it's gonna be d6 uh just actually click the
damage button yeah cool it shoots you up 40 feet awesome so i'm basically over the rooftop at this
point right oh yeah you're like the roof the roofs here are about like 20 feet up you're like 20 feet
above them awesome uh because i am a strix i can easily glide yes and stuff without i basically i could
just fall without taking any fall damage i can just slowly just glide through because of my wings
uh i am basically taking up to on top of the place itself so i'll drag myself over i can't get
there but i see like under baldrick's token there i'm basically getting on top of granny's thing so i'm
out of range of the okay of the thing absolutely so that i have to use my move action to basically
just kind of glide down touch the top yeah yeah no fall damage absolutely sounds good and i just
just gently down no problem i wish i had more actions i want to do some cool stuff but that's
the universe okay um so tanhauser um you have this this guy who's beside you um the rider is like
panicking so the rider is going to like in a desperation to get away uh is going to attempt to attack you
oh you you're gonna hurt me too you're ridiculous get out of my way
um see how this works we'll see if it works uh swings this flail
fuck off uh with a 13 which will miss um so like swings the flail once misses uh swings the flail again
it's seriously uh the third action is now we'll command the horse and he commands the horse to use
its two actions um knowing the the speed and and which of the chainsaw car um
this is this is so great um we'll we'll tell the horse to attack you once and then to run the
with a move this guy this guy you're ridiculous employee of the month
yeah yeah you better one boy like runs like this way now now now now this trigger speaker's
trap card because this fucker gets like dragged along with it oh god he's been keelhauled yes
oh god he has to okay he has to oh wait that's right you also have to roll the acid damage on the
horse at the end oh yeah don't worry that's the end of the turn oh god okay so they're like dextrous
so he's like fucking doing like like tapping but but it's still gonna do some damage uh speaker
can you roll me 3d6 i would love to please i love it okay perfect um scraping so he takes like eight
points of like like scrape damages he's like pulled along he's not fallen like or gone prone but he's
like madly like resisting the the grapple trying to get it off at this point um god damn it now this
is where it gets really because i'm really curious if the acid kills the horse here it's gonna be
really fucking yeah let's find out everyone's gonna go flying down the street oh god oh that might oh
shit goodbye horse oh no goodbye horse
this guy like already got his but this guy now has to take a reflex save to see if he
fucking goes like off the deep end into death time oh god
the horse melts it like collapses into the ground this guy like crit succeeds uh he has massive
protagonist energy he goes flying like 20 feet away like the dissolving corpse like corpse of the of the
the skeletal horse dissolving into the ground the rain is now coming down a bit more intensely he looks
over at you tannhauser the the like the gulf of like 60 feet between you and you just see him and like
i guess i'm ridiculous too um and that's that's his oh my god i guess
you know sergeant waycroft that was sick as hell but don't think it will spare you guilt tyrants
guild mooc number three you are a worthy foe
that guy give that guy a name right now he has one he has one is he's sergeant waycroft now
sergeant waycroft yeah he just needs to now not die to this if you want to defect we're hiring
no he will not defect i will saw you in half of that
let's catch me first don't you speak funny man down there i'll kill you shortly the great and mighty
kevin what are you trying to do with him trying to get him killed conscious trying to like move
around he heroically jumps into the blades to save people in trouble he like he rushes around oh and
he's like you see him stomping the tree has kind of prevented him from getting i'm just going to
run around this way i can't go through all of that you see my arm shut up go inside i i that's as
far as i can move three actions oh my fucking god there's oh my god come on
uh dr crimp's body causes another explosion to occur um tanhauser jesus christ yes
doesn't exist in this setting we established that oh yeah that is true maybe teleport the
fuck out of here i'm out of focus points i can't oh god run well this guy here
all right i don't want rahua rahua gets to go duhakus gets to go i'm assuming the people behind
the chainsaw car are safe relatively that they will use their turns to fuck off immediately
and not like throw like stickballs at this thing prince is prince is climbing duhakus hasn't done
anything yet but she is unfortunately still within grinding distance
yes i'm aware i have control over that but i have i'm playing as a gm npc right now
got me some slack and tanhauser will quickly declare retreat we'll fight another day
and uh i think he is going to try and climb up this wall okay uh that will be in athletics yeah
let's go good thing i'm good at that yeah i would love to use my grappling hook but unfortunately i
used it unfortunately you used it already it's all right it was sick as hell it gave us sergeant
wake up who is now a rodeo cowboy i guess i love sergeant don't fucking dare kill him okay can i oh
shit wow yeah my servos will just actuate and i'll just in one leap just to jump what number do you
roll athletics yeah but i'll let you get it it won't matter it won't matter okay thank you uh so that
will be the first check but as we establish the volley it is two checks to reach the top
okay uh so what do you need for me now you did acrobatics um i will allow you to make one more
acrobatics check certainly you have you've utilized it already so and i allowed volley to do it so i'll
allow you to do it thank you king remember this in the number of 19 okay yeah that'll get you enough
to like scramble over the top here yeah powered by revolution and also fear of chainsaw car
through yes just like che Guevara yep and tannhauser will just declare scatter yeah time to run
before beginning to make his way uh separate from everyone else so that they're not all in one
centralized area yeah uh so i'll be spending my time tannhauser partially wants to stay behind
and make sure everything's like everyone gets away okay but at this point it's like it's kind
of outside of his control he can't do anything really um so i think he'll probably start just
making sure we get the fuck out of dodge mm-hmm cool yeah so that'll be the turn okay you may end your
to do hawkish i will turn to hawkish into gravel she turns and like proceeds to hide like oh no
um
my boy
we need to we need to go now i know we do but my legs only take me so fast you will go inside
right now i will make you go inside give me an athletics check to move the man made entirely of
metal my friend here you go stupid idiot boy you have a spell that can blast inside uh so i assume you're
moving to here in an attempt to push crunch in correct okay so that will fail uh yeah i figured
that was gonna fail would you like to use one of your two hero points in an attempt to reroll that cool
okay 24. okay um so that's enough to push him five feet
run
so
i only have two options at this point
and apparently crunch is so thick that he overlaps the space that i can't get to
correct oh god i can't get any space nearby actually apparently yeah you're very slow tree man
no it's like i'm trying to move into the landing i know yeah yeah yeah but
so you can't actually get inside because you've pushed crunch in there can i climb to the top of the roof
using my fucking crazy ass sick as hell being a tree ability okay okay so i will allow you to make a
climb but your climb is based on your land speed so like you can get up to here climb up but you'll be
like five feet up if that you will not be out of the saw range oh dear you saved crunch though
rahula can i push through him uh well uh you could attempt another athletics check yes to shove it
will that put me inside if i succeed only if you critically succeed at it
fuck yeah okay you have you have everything to lose
go for it
okay i need to evade it's either that or get mulch on the street if there's no other option
oh boy okay so with that athletics is what i need to do yep
oh no you have a hero point you do a two percent chance wait could you use the barrel as a jumping
off point to get any kind of he only moves like 10 feet he can't get to anything oh my god
i thought it was more than 10 feet i thought it was 20. um what is your movie i thought your like
thing is like really slow right now because of your armor i my body is armor yeah why are you moving
10 feet yeah i wasn't even oh weird okay no you can actually run run run past in sorry i was i was
confused it was i was going to say like false suspense i thought that fat yeah false suspense
apparently it was fat rolling all right happy lord he's encumbered i'm sorry yeah you could just
run past them and go like in there if you want yeah i'm gonna do that okay i'm not gonna risk death
for that cool cool cool i like it so you rush in baldrick has just finished opening the door
everyone else is kind of inside here uh oran's on top grandma sweet crunches in with you
okay so yeah oh boy baron whitworth shouts and slams his hands on the controls after the uh the
explosion slow the vehicle down somewhat you will move us forward right now
yes sir forward they begin operating uh the vehicle will move forward uh because it has
trample as an effect yeah i'm going to move over the tree okay to this tree okay right right here that
good enough yeah absolutely but could you move me up there while i am having it lilac launch
so here's here's the problem that was one move so i need to i need to do the saw damage to the tree
right well yeah if you're trampling it's three actions but you do get an extra action because of
your quickens uh in that case i shall not trample i shall simply move through it yeah yeah like the
tree does not impede you at this point targets on the left and right pinion maneuver it will attack
volley with a chain glaive oh no it has a range of 15 yes and it is a gargantuan creature which gives
it a height that will allow it to basically shoot out one of the chain glaives ah targeting yes a
chainsaw on the side of it i'm assuming it is based on like a small arm correct uh yeah like yeah like
there there's some there's some give or take here like you could use the saw blade to represent like
cutting into the building front if you wanted to attack crunch or rahua you could use the the
glaive to like shoot it and oh i fully intend to thurston okay okay just tell me his first target
though i'm attacking three times i will attack volley christ i will attack i will attack crunch
i will attack rahua okay holly first okay
that's 20. you can't miss unless you roll a one that will critically hit her if i nimble dodge would it
negate the crit oh it would because it would take it to plus eight yes i'm going to nimble dodge
yeah so you only do regular damage to volley you nimbly dodge for a moment as the glaive
comes careening towards you slashing you for 26 damage oh i'm down i'm at 25. cool
you uh you are dying up 20 feet on a building volume you have uh you have sustained a massive
slash that practically goes to your fucking spine against your stomach oh by the way now it is time
to unfortunately probably kill crunch as well oh yeah i was going to ask who you attacking first
crunch of course okay absolutely he must die roll it get that ridiculous looking knight
that hits him that uh remember to say the number oh jesus 30 sorry sorry i should i should um
yes clarify um that will hit him 30 points okay okay you're clarifying yeah yeah i was just i was just
clarifying the okay i i thought i saw something wrong but okay okay well he takes jesus he takes 30
damage and that didn't even take a chunk out of him he like staggers but go and he falls on his back
i'm going to oh no he's down no no i have to attack him now uh well no he's he's fallen down um but he's
still like up and engaged um but he's kind of like on his back defenseless like a turtle again
you do realize i have to attack him like i won't attack him again because i'm targeting
rahua i have to spread the damage out fairly yep you have to attack rahua wait um thurston the saw
mouth yes is that melee or is that that's melee but you like given the situation you could like
buzz through the front of the house and rahua would only get plus like four to ac so you know it'd be
minus 14 you still might hit it rahua my friend you you must face the cowering inferno
um now that will be four that will miss because you rolled a 23 yeah rolled a 23
and then it begins yep it begins chewing through the front of the house crumbling
the um love of like the masonry and everything around it
uh the whitworth is going to start shouting at the driver
are you trying to eat the building or the tree inside it
if rahua's face could look any more gaunt the fact that it already looks inhuman and skeletal in
nature he would look pretty fucking scared for shits and giggles may i please do damage to the
building front yeah of course
it's just tears through the wood there's no cover there anymore i assume like grandma's sweet
uh crotch and baldrick who've just finished unlocking the door turn around to see the
the front of grandma's sweet's restaurant be torn open by this chainsaw car i need to clarify
something for chet i am not relishing this or enjoying it i am the hulk
i am the inedible hulk i am the unenviable hulk everyone wanted the chainsaw car everyone wanted the
chainsaw car don't forget you asked for this you asked for this no i am i am literally doing my job
thurston wants me to kill them so by christ i will give it if it means killing me i will do it
oh by the way the horse and the rest of the things that were underneath they have been ground to
like bone and metal shards they're gone everything beneath is gone
volley volley volley volley volley my friend yeah um yeah oh my god uh i was going to mention since
volley's down you might want to move her initiative up oh yeah it does go before the uh yeah i think
you i always forget about that sorry about that i'm sorry no no no no do shelf rushes up to you
but you know like i don't think any of you can see what's happening though so that's cool uh baldrick
uh fucking christ tell you what i'm gonna i'm gonna try to do one thing i'm within range
this probably won't do a goddamn thing thurston i'm gonna hero point
and narratively declare i'm going to conjure a tanglefoot bag and immobilize this thing
if you roll a natural 20 on the dice i will you're a dickhead
whatever whatever i got nothing i got i got i got hero points to burn
do it do it oh that's the iron baron sheet i can't have him do that hang on yeah don't don't
don't have the iron baron iron baron rolls to craft and fails uh all right fucking crap
give me one tanglefoot bag roll it i like how you have to make it like i'm just like just roll
a d20 you're only gonna i'm only going to allow this on the roll of a 20. okay this is like all
those times in warhams when i was like uh difficulty number like 18 and then speaker would be like the
power of jane you dirtbag yes all right i'm wrong i'm re-rolling it i gotta yeah yeah absolutely if you
roll a one though you're gonna tanglefoot yourself and trap yourself in the building
look i i have to try something here all right of course of course nine uh it like the the bag goes
and just gets like chewed up by the spinning blades on this thing damn i hate these things
i like that it was super effective and now you're fighting this overwhelming force you're like this is
done uh would you like to spend your remaining action to exit out the back door yeah i'm leaving
i i can't do anything okay so i lack the materials baldrick departs the field of battle uh i will still
have your token here but that's fine he is the beacon by which they are following uh or and you are on
top of the roof of the building that is being shredded apart uh you hear glub talk i want to be
fucking judged hard for this decision he's gonna throw glub talk at him is the roof is
what are you gonna do i'm already judging you
why are you killing glub talk we are prejudging you i like how i like how like everyone assumes
the worst shit possible my question is how like how like from relative of the roof that i am uh to
volleys am i higher or below her uh you're you're the same height so you're both actually at 20
right okay so we get to get into stricts jumping territory basically i want to get from my roof
to her roof so i can help volley and get her to safety okay okay okay okay because oren basically
sees the glade go like this right and probably goes volley and just immediately just just starts
running wings rolled out like glub talk hold on whoosh and it's important that you recognize
oren um that as you are doing all of this you look over to see volley engage the distance but you
also see prance to shelf uh going through her inventory rather god i love prance
he clearly has like the coin purse more reason to jump over and
if Molly was alive she'd be proud of him
so yeah i have wings um so basically when leaving horizontally yeah you move an additional five
feet you don't automatically fail your checks on high jump or long jump if you don't stride at least
10 feet first in addition if you make a long jump you can jump a distance up to 10 feet
further than your athletic checks results though still with the normal maximum of your speed just
for reference i'll click that there so chat can read it and you can read it um how how would we like to
do this uh so you're gonna move and then you're gonna give me an athletics check and based off that
that determines how far you can go okay let me go ahead and do give you get like the running start
yeah like i know i don't technically need it but
you know the whole you might need it yeah i mean like for the running time to burn all this
like the running start that i don't need yeah yeah yeah
i'm gonna hear a point that i rolled a six
yeah sure oh definitely yeah don't left yeah don't yeah you can do this i believe in you
roll a one i'm dead i'm dead okay um so how bad would you like me to die thurston because i'm
jumping right over the chainsaw car right one of the chainsaw cars if i may if i may for a moment
thurston but no lgm yes but no it can't be true i could fly if i wanted to
can we have okay i at least want the narrative to be controlled just a tab it so i don't look like a
fucking dunce all right can i can i can i spend the narrative declaration to have however him
gust of wind put him at least slightly off course so he is not immediately gibbed by the chainsaw car
yeah like we'll let you put him on the ground so erndale has more targets sure
can i also spend a hero point to narrative declare something look thurston we have to do it we have
to burn them okay okay okay what what's your what's your narrative declaration why why not
fuck it what's reality anymore i love these games sure what's it wasn't just how is your final fantasy
prayer sequence happening here it wasn't just pure chance that oren failed to
transcend this distance mm-hmm for what he did not see what knocked him off course
was an errant and angry avian creature oh my god
oh my god
will go sailing
oh no more
oh lord it's back you want to delete the horse corpses because they don't need to be there anymore
they're making their life easier yeah yeah sure we can now he just moves to the building real quick
now there is gelatin okay so the attempt to jump the fail um i i i at least at least can i control
this language glum talk's in my backpack he's yeah okay okay still with you okay so basically i'm i
jump in flying through the area it's perfect trajectory like everything else he's he's soaring
through these to shelf staff ready but then as he's passing by the the the chainsaw car fires off
a couple glaives and all i hear it from the guy on top but then i'm like he's like yeah i was doing
i'm gonna save my friends i want to help valley and and we're gonna get out of this alive and then that
motherfucker coming down
and i it's like i want him to say remember me bitch
and like slices a right wing disabling my ability to glide and i come crashing down
bam onto the ground it is very high though
pain you you crash you i'm not gonna
i'm gonna let you make a reflex i love how what is it with my players to be like i want to hurt
myself more with this check so thurston i think i'm being there if you want to let me live i'll
live well technically i'm a strix i don't take fall damage i don't take fall damage technically
i'm fine like and this saucer that like lies above like just keeps flying off hoot hoot that's all
and he just fucks off and i there i am like he knocks me off i try to i rearwarming myself just at
the last second oh my god okay go on end your turn there buddy uh how many actions do i have left
that's technically uh i guess i guess well yeah well yeah i guess that would be one yeah yeah so you land
yeah how the fuck am i gonna get up there it's like well down here it's either stay here or die
and i wrote and i'm i'm determined to either save volley or get volley the fuck out of here yep
how can i how can i strix my way up there
thirst i
how can you indeed yeah how can you now do you have any flying based spells that aren't some
bullshit narrative declaration that i'm not going to let you have a hero point
grow a tree beneath you and run away
oh yeah can i just cast tree below me that'll catapult me up to falling with when i flap my wings
wait no don't do that who just disappears into the ground comes back up where he was like
all right you son of a bitch no
in the wrong tree let me see what it
it would be fitting punishment for what happened yeah i don't have any flying forms uh for animal
forms and stuff i can't turn into a spider or anything uh that is not a thing i have wait
well ah fuck animal floor takes two actions
you could at range heal volley i don't have any spell slots left oh wow you're
fucked that's that's why i'm having to get new to her so i can use my cantrip to get healing
plaster and then battlefield medicine her oh yeah you are you are i i have no more spell slots left
i used them all do you have a healing potion you could yeah you could hand it to club talk and throw club
uh no i don't have anything you're fucked uh i will spend a narrative declaration
and if with your permission thurston yes from the discarded remnants of that mad professor
a single hell potion remains on the ground that'll help him yeah yeah sure i'll allow it like a
fucking absolute lesser elixir of life done done mark that mark that man down a
fucking hero point here jesus christ love talk stop talk about talk are you okay
love talk this is the longest six second turn ever by the way just let it happen let it happen
i know it looks real bad right now but i need you to trust me
i need you to grab that potion and help volley he's up there i need you to help her
that talk crawls out grabs the potion
i assume i i spent like like how how many actions that i spend doing that like i mean it's like you're
directing are you wanting to throw club talk up there yes okay then just give me give me an attack
roll uh you can like i do a fist on arm strike yeah yeah there you go that works
i'm gonna go go talk help volley oh just help volley okay guy uh that that's your that's your action you
commanded and then you threw my turn's over hey very good the horse is gone i can remove the horse is
gone remove that i can remove participants can you remove dr crim from the list why does she still
have a turn uh because that reminds me when club talk could go oh i see yeah yeah um i i appeared to
be on my back oh oh my sorry crotch can you help
i understand you're trying to make crunch a lovable character after this i just actually would prefer
crunch to be dead wow no because the problem is nobody ever helped him to his feet yeah
like it has been so the guy took 33 damage to the chest like it was nothing but you're like oh he's on
his back better leave him help him
he will live oh i appear to have gotten over my prone state or who are are we retreating from the
battlefield my friend yes we are leaving now come with me elderly madam we must go away from the car
of death riley should i go with the man yes grandma go you are going to die here if you stay okay this car is
very hungry but not for food this fucking sucks they're in range
are you gonna kill yourself yeah talk club talk help
club talk help no healing potion
perhaps we could come to some kind of negotiation
this is where uh prance makes a diplomacy check on uh club talk to uh oh my god
and when chat said i was a horrible person yeah i know i know i know does prance even have oh my god
he does have diplomacy and it's not terrible uh do it it's funny is it prance's turn it's not prance's
turn it's club talk's turn and club talk is going to heal volley
for one hit point hey that's enough one one whole one
all right volley you are you are no longer dying but you you are going to be
does volley now move to a lower thing
uh no no no she stays where she is it's it's already been been adjusted so she still gets
to go before you because she was right i wanted to allow people to to maneuver around yeah like
she's no longer dying she's now wounded one and uh she's now technically unconscious now so now
but she's prone and stuff she has to get up and well she's not unconscious she she's conscious
yeah and the club talk like pours the fire club talk help it kind of like slaps your your your chin
and like and like you hear from this oh we were helping you oh that by the way the chainsaw car
just drove by i'm sure you heard that yeah there we go exactly volley looking up like why do you have
my coin purse then well in case anything happened i knew you would want the money to survive uh hey
thurston yes i i narratively declare that duchelle stabs her
holy
hostile player hostile player
we're gonna take 20 episodes this time we're getting right to it i spend a narrative declaration
so duchelle trips and breaks his name and crunch falls onto baldrick and baldrick dies
okay no anyway yeah okay um no that's ten hauser it's your turn red card for me yes
so i'm not gonna lie guys this shit's looking grim yes yeah run away and hauser sees this
volley is fucked up and bleeding on the side of the chainsaw arc everyone is barely managing to get
away while chainglaives shoot into this restaurant at any time it could turn and just mow down the vast
majority of escaping people
so tan house is gonna make a choice
i'm going to make a running leaf off this roof uh-huh onto the street okay
very very brave i am a very brave boy okay oh i can't i also can't but notice you didn't oh shoot
i didn't move your boys well this guy would be prone so that's fine um oops uh this guy's like you
fucking sergeant wavecraft is running the fuck yeah he's out he's gone uh this guy this guy has
like well we'll take his three moves because he's no longer tethered uh and like well actually he'll
also be good goodbye yeah goodbye the the the outriders run the fuck away
so would i have to make a check to jump down or could i just do it oh you could like just do it like
i you can give me an acrobatics to be i rolled to take full damage arrest your phone sure sure yeah
because it's 20 feet you could take something anything i have a narrative declaration to make
him take fall damage yeah i literally declare a plungy pit yeah the acid from the horse is still like
fucking everywhere and no you're good you're good you can let oh my god it's not letting me move
oh yeah he's an out of bounds territory yeah and uh i could probably move one five feet forward
there um now at this distance yes i'm hoping i'm out of range of the chain glaives you are i'm going to
call out to the chainsaw car
me no car thank you
like as this is happening the camera cuts cuts back to our good friend sergeant waycroft who turns around
and we just see the face and the nod of the mask ridiculous and he keeps running ridiculous and
mediocre
listen to me noblemen as if you were not a drunk sopping wreck come and kill the revolution if you
may a thousand more will rise behind me and eat the fill of your flesh and i want to try to draw
the chainsaw car to pursue me rather than attack anyone else okay do you want to do you want to give
me uh an intimidate check for that i think i'd rather roll my minus two diplomacy oh okay sure yeah no
well critically fail it terribly yeah that'd be awesome 19. yeah like you definitely get the npc's
attention the the the the the purple bedecked noble turns like towards you and sort of like
points the tip of the scepter lightly oh that's amusing
what the hell is that man screaming about run him down next all right we should should be great um
all right uh
rana gargoyle's gonna get the fuck out of here dohaka
yeah what you gonna do uh i'm fucking leaving because i'm not going to go outside while the
chainsaw car is here yeah okay so you like rush back with crunch bulgic in them yes okay awesome
we're gonna move far away from it but if need be once the chainsaw car passes i'm gonna run out to
volley okay okay uh volley you're up you are prone on top of the roof with glub talk over you and pros like
you're a very nasty gash
oh oh ouch um yeah i'm gonna look up at france and just all right you ridiculous man get the hell
out of here run so you don't get murdered i forgive you for stealing my wallet it's what i would have done
you're the best captain ever run it's your money back first then yeah yeah exactly uh i'm going to
look down and see uh orin look down at glub talk i'm not leaving my first mate i'm gonna uh look down
and i'm going to essentially use my action to roll off the roof uh and i would like to pull acrobatics to
land on my feet uh yeah i'll like you okay you'll need a dc uh 15 acrobatics checker your take falling
damage and then be unconscious and bleeding again crack yeah do it please please
hey there we go i saw that three i saw that three i was about to see the three as well
yeah you can like land the side are you leaving glub talk up there or oh no i'm holding them okay
little freak or wait no i can leave i could leave it with du shelf but i don't trust du shelf to give
him back you know i'm going to make a fucking inventory item for a club dog
i despise you yeah yeah chat is very much like they're all so loyal to one another who can have
the double sacrifice faster i'm out of here who about this noise you need to understand i i have
hero points to burn i will gladly turn them into villain points oh god my play was a double sacrifice
there was a flyer over right instead of my friend and run and then he turned into an uh-oh
excuse urndelle and i for not running to the chainsaw car and killing ourselves on the
nearby oh i don't know chainsaws this thing looks like a tony hawk accident trap
like the kind of thing he seems like i don't remember i don't remember you land you you land you
land what are you doing i land orange looking rough right oh uh yes very his eyes are also a strange
like purplish hue oh god uh i'm gonna sling his arm over my shoulder all right let's get out of here
uh and i'm gonna use my last two actions to just start sprinting uh i don't know what i would have
to roll to kind of keep oran with me i'll basically allow you to do kind of like a
like a single move with both of you kind of like rushing all right yeah my single move is 35 feet
yeah yeah that's why i kind of all right it's uh it's 40 with the nosh oh okay do you have i guess
you have panache i'm gonna do him oh my god what am i gonna do here my backflip okay okay um so that
is the end of your go volley thurston yes my friend i'm gonna be a dickhead oh okay thank you so much
whitworth is focused solely on tannhauser he hates his guts he points forward with again with the
the finger pointing forward with a whip crack sound effect kill him drive up forward forward
understood i spend a hero point the driver accidentally reverses
like a counter spell on
uh
we're gonna
do i gotta do the trample for that that's three actions right no that means
yeah yeah and then you'd still have an action left after so you could trample them and make
the attacks on both of them uh let's go yeah all three of them technically right um just volley and
warren oh okay club talk is in the safe in the backpack he had a man he's invasive
safe okay
foreign he's not one i'm begging no that's okay okay you want to roll back 33 that's a 62 damage
oh well um or okay okay roll before we before we see what happens uh roll for volley next please
okay sure you got it dog you you got it billy uh map minus five uh yeah
doesn't even apply for trample i'm not i'm not what i'm doing i don't need a farm for this
it wouldn't be a crit so you'll get regular damage oh yeah i need all i would damn i needed that critical
to do one health oh 27 that'll do yeah that'll do so um volley goes back to dying let this be known as
the day you almost got up um now you bloody idiot firewood not back one oh god okay i'm very glad uh
let's do that okay cool we're dying too there we go cool um the club talk as we described is a piece
of inventory it's not targeted by this so like you so as this happens um you like the chainsaw car
reverses and there is this like distinct like crunching rending sound it hits volley knocks her
unconscious she falls down um prevented from most of the blow however
orrin is struck so severely so utterly blindly um he just disappears
because no one can actually see what's happening there because the chainsaw car is uh
but orrin is no more uh you still have one action left
i attack yeah should we finish her off
no you bloody fool go after the damn revolutionist up front do not let him get away
okay and then you move back to where you i swear if hepman gets away because of your
ineptitude of driving you will go under this the next time
cross do shelf's turn i basically went backwards to go forward yeah good
cross actually cross will move to there cross will make an acrobatics check
like the superman perfectly lands i hate you so much to shell
and glub talk and glub talk looks up at him and like looks at volley and looks up help
and no um and glub and glub talk glub talk will make a diplomacy check uh
good glub talks turn because you know reasons
fuck you um do you know whatever he's adorable yeah
so often so often and um
uh do shelf um so at this point oh god none of you can see this okay cool some stuff happens that
none of you can see uh because tanhazer can see it from like 60 feet away tanhazer give me
perception check if i must yes you must but thou must
oh shit yeah you are you are too concerned with the approaching um chainsaw car that you do not see
what happens uh as as like volley is unconscious the chainsaw car uh rushes past uh we're gonna we're
gonna jump ahead um so baldrick and like crunch are continuing to the retreat away uh
uh just have us leave we're good yeah yeah no no no we're out of there the tanhazer your friends
have basically been mowed down as far as you can see this car is coming towards you your other friends
have escaped what are you doing now
they'll pay for everyone
who live the fighters and in commemoration of my now deceased friends tanhazer will escape to fight
another day okay so you you can rush off and like at this point there's side alleys and whatnot you can
um and so you you run off and the mystery of of what happens to valley um is is there um
um oh well i mean i'm just gonna back up no he's chasing him yeah i i i kind of assume um so that
brings us to the end of our session um with oran uh brutally brutally run over
and volley uh in unconsciousness
but here but as this is this happens um i want to quickly check bald i want to ask everyone who
the the survivors if you will baldrick yeah where will you be going after this like will you be
what is your destination baldrick is going to use his knowledge of the city to duck through alleyways and
what not to get back to his home because this was a huge fucking mess okay
ruhu will you be accompanying uh your friend
ruhu will start to follow baldrick but feeling
while guilty not wanting to leave his friend behind will wait for the chainsaw car to pass to
assess the damage and if seeing volley there lying dying ruhu will make his way back over to her
okay when you emerge you see that valley valley is not there
instead all the the ground is littered with is the blood splatter and charcoal explosions there are no
remains of no remains of your friends as you come outside and look at the streets
oh
ruhu will panic for a moment look around to see if anybody else has remained or is around and
the only the only one that comes out is is the the like the form of of of duhakis who comes out from
looking up at the devastation the ground torn up is it over i think it is over for now did you see
where they went are they are they okay uh i i didn't see i came back i i i when the car left
we need to go we need to go right now and as that we have to find something drifts in the air off of
like one of the mangled side corpses it looks like it was something that probably fell out of the satchel
of one of the outriders um appears to be like a scroll case that has like been rolled down the street
by by the intensifying wind through this alley or this street
it has the seal of the tyrant's guild on it it is partly partly open
ruhu will move to pick up the scroll okay cool uh tanhauser you you rush through alleys uh eventually
like very quickly you're able to run off into a side alley that prevents the chainsaw car from
properly pursuing you in this this densely packed area one of the few benefits of this uh this region
of the city where do you go next
tanhauser will probably do the same as rahua doubling back to see if there's any signs of his
his friends if there's any way to tell where they might have gone or if they're actually dead to uh
make sure the tyrant skill doesn't get their bodies okay you you return just in time to to catch rahua who
has picked up the the scroll case and you see duhakis and sort of the tattered remains of this street
where are they rahua i i don't know they're they're gone i i saw her a moment there i don't know where
orrin went but they're gone tanhauser i don't know tanhauser's gonna do a quick once over there's no
feathers or anything right perception check okay uh 18 okay the answer to that question comes
and in darkness with a a sound a sound like wrestling sloshing maybe there's there's light
and as we end our session orrin and vali
you both awaken in a familiar place you both find yourselves in water you both find yourselves
back in the pool
in the temple in the sinkhole the place where you woke up when you first fell
and both of you sort of wake up in this water kind of getting your bearings have a moment to turn
and look at each other
orrin
hey buddy i'm just gonna like grab him and a big hug orrin screams in terror or on hugs back
and just tries to he doesn't say anything he's just really shook it up you all right no
yeah neither of you are right because now something that wasn't there
picks at the back of your minds and that's where we're gonna end today's session thanks for coming by
everybody
hooray thanks everyone for that thanks everyone for coming
thanks for our death i want to put on some music thanks everybody for watching let me turn this back
on here there we go
hope everyone enjoyed that episode thank you all so much for coming over watching rock grind
you know i want to introduce all the amazing players that uh suffered with us today starting
off from the left to the right uh with odoroshi hi it's me i'm odoroshi i was here playing vali
the sylph swashbuckler thanks everybody for tuning in thank you urndill for being a
a fucker bastard um i'm going to i'm going to get you with my fist it's on the list
um and yeah uh amazing session very fun very tense oh very excited for the next one oh that's two
weeks next up we have hulky crow that is me i am hulky crow i thank you very much all for coming
out for tonight's session as always had a ton of fun uh despite you know punishing players
okay that was a little fun uh yeah find me at the usual places on my socials uh
oh right we're gonna be doing something fun afterwards too uh coming by the narrative
declaration discord server we're gonna do a little yeah a little community night
yes my place is a little df2 jack box yeah exclamation point discord let's see the
name there's the card declaration discord there's the there's a chance
oh no it's coming back
you're back for round two yeah exclamation point uh discord and you'll get that discord link in
chat or if you're watching this on youtube podcast usually links are uh in the description
yeah make sure you can come by we're just gonna play a couple games hang out for a little bit
i'll be in shortly i'll go pick up some food but well i hope to see you there yeah next up we have
erendil do i even need to address you people at this point i feel like i've made myself persona
non grata wow we love you i'm referring to chat
i got half of them wanting to crucify me and half of them wanting to buy me a beer
anyway yeah i'm erndil you can meet me at twitter at adder and delio i'm also on the narrative
declaration server i occasionally pop in and hang out but i'm not uh cavorting with thurston to destroy
our our friend group so you know you can be there that's fine by all means please watch uh
please watch under the parenting it's really good thank you bye next up we have speaker d
yes i have been speaker d and i was not speaker dead i was speaker alive against um what i thought i
was going to be so you can find me on twitter at super snake kick where you can occasionally see me like
and retweet and dare i dare i say even post on occasion um uh this has been uh hell on earth
um many people i've died and um i will be killing erndil uh at all costs i think that's my next course of
action but uh but he's right you should watch after the parenting it's pretty good okay thank you all
right that's me and we have our lusher's game master slayer of players thurston hillman
session two i was supposed to kill them all in session two to showcase some of this because i
was i was like they'll go into that boss room they're players that they of course they'll go
into the big room and they didn't they didn't they fucking were smart and then they all rolled crits
and then they had to go through the whole fucking adventure up to this point being like ah we've
never died we're great well god got you got you i made her to do it i got i mean hi thank you thank
you all this was a great time i am so glad you you came out and hung out with us and you can find me
on all the things at on call gm i sometimes stream things i sometimes play games i i don't know i i feel
like i'm i'm you know a monster everyone in chat is asking did glub talk die as we clearly established
glub talk is now a piece of inventory and respawns with volley so uh marvel end credit scene as oran
and volley have their moment glub talks head glub talk help and now we're very good yeah exactly
now we're in screams and terrible thank you for staying through the credits for the extra scene
everybody we love you uh i love you and uh thanks again and i have been your host zone the bear if
you ever want to ask about the show and anything else stuff like that or see a wiggling pig and g
bear or something like that uh just step on by the live stream off uh rock right hours as you're
waiting for other stuff like they'll always see you guys here um obviously with that love you guys
so much thank you all for watching and we are going to say goodbye thank you all so much for
watching and we will see you all next time same bat time same bat channel in two weeks go to
natural declaration.com for our schedule so you can know when we're live goodbye everybody we love you
all and we will see you all and we will see you all next time
you