Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration

Are you guys ready for another exciting episode of Road Grind?
I was finishing the cheeseburger every time we start that's a key item okay get your hands out of the all-american steakhouse men's restroom garbage can that half of a cheeseburger is not for you it's for me that's free loot their cheeseburgers out I'm gonna eat it that's true
is it finders keepers for the trash cans isn't this a Seinfeld bit I'm just loading up vampire survivors fuck this
all we all had everybody was basically playing Elden Ring to the last second we were just like no
there's we have Elden Ring at home come play rocker so now we're here so hi everybody as Arendelle
bubbles with anticipation we hope you all been having a wonderful time thanks for coming over
where it's episode five now and I'm gonna uh kind of change the beginning format a bit but going with
some announcements and stuff like just keep everyone informed of what's going on because
things little things are going to be changing because this is the fifth episode uh just kind
of like how we did with the war hams and stuff like that things uh we'll be adjusting here a little bit
but if you've just been following the show and everything you'll know uh nothing really changes
for you really uh but first off uh welcome everybody and one of the things we all like to ask is just you
don't just uh if you really like supporting the show and stuff like that there's obviously the
patreon and stuff like that and coming to our discord you know exclamation point discord and
the twitch chat to basically see uh the links to the narrative declaration discord uh but one of the
things we always like to ask people to do is that if you like to support the show one of the best
things to really do so is just tell people about us tell people about us in your community show off
our videos show off our uh also patreon with all the free pdfs that we might put out here and there
and all that other cool stuff so if you can just kind of spread the word about us that'd be greatly
appreciated uh because the more we grow the more stuff we can do for you uh the next thing is after
this fifth episode things will go behind the wall so basically what we did before with war hams and
stuff like that for the warhammer 40k campaigns and stuff is that after the fifth episode uh basically
the twitch vods will go behind the sub wall so if you are currently subscribed and stuff like that for
future episodes uh after the twitch stream is over it goes behind the wall and then everything gets
produced everything in the background patreon our patrons get the twitch vod as soon as it can get
uploaded i have to wait 24 hours via the twitch contract and then patrons get the get that and a
little extraction of the audio for patreon and people who are subbed on twitch are are able to
immediately see the twitch vod uh but then after a week or two depending how long it takes me to kind of
get through all the audio and stuff uh it gets released out for free so if you are quite worried
of going dude no i don't want to you know like pay for anything i don't have a lot of money so like
don't worry we consider that and that's why it all comes out eventually for free uh because you know
not a lot of people could just spare a whole bunch of money for uh regular internet shows like us so we
highly uh you know we highly consider that for everybody so that is just to keep everybody appraised
uh for episode six and onward it'll now be doing that so just just to make everyone informed and
understood like that's that's currently the system that we had in place and announced multiple times
the patreon the discord and all that other stuff so it's just to keep everybody informed uh other
than that i'm going to introduce the amazing people who helped bring you rock ryan i'm going to start
off with the left here starting off with odoroshi how you doing well we're starting with me again today
hello it's me odoroshi i am in your home eating your snacks right now uh you can find me at twitter
uh at odoroshi writer uh great to be here again this week i am playing uh volley the sylph swashbuckler
and next up we're gonna have horky crow hey that's me uh i am not in your home but i am in your trash
where i live uh today i will be playing rahua the kanrasu cleric and you can find me at hulky crow
on twitter next up we have erindir
hi i'm erindir i'm playing uh baldrick the alchemist and i am currently blowing bubbles into water
because it is funny and i need liquid to drink
oh that's the sound of me boiling him alive
you wish
get over here
next up we have speaker d
it's me speaker d hi everybody uh you can uh find me on twitter at super snake kick and i'm speaker d and
speaker i'm speaker d and i'm speaker d and i also write for hunter the parenting episode two which just
came out congratulations guys thank you uh absolutely very proud of it so go and watch and
like don't forget to like and comment and subscribe and i'm speaker d and i'm speaker d and i play dan
hauser who is not speaker d but is and he is amagus back back to you zoren that's right and i'm going to
reflect it to thurston hillman our illustrious game master
i am thurston hillman i'll only say that once i'm the gm i run things uh for for these intrepid
band of chuckle fuckers um that being said um you can catch me on the social medias at uncall gm and
all the things uh i've been streaming you know vampire survivor that's this just it's my life now
it's that and elton ring uh otherwise uh throwing some stuff up on the the cool patreon that zoren
mentioned we just put out the the desiccated dragon which is our first like super super super big scary
uh like high level monster you should go check it out has some cool art by scalabine uh otherwise
um yeah yeah i just i just like to hang out and i look forward to tormenting the players that's what i do
hi i'll be playing the gm today hi will you know yeah will you and maybe
and i am your host is on the bear i'm currently playing oran the stricts druid and i am super
just as thurston said you can always support the show over at patreon.com force last narrative
declaration but if you're always curious when is the show live i don't know when it goes live
uh we go bi-weekly and stuff like that and you're like who's this person what's information
there all that other stuff you can always visit our website over at narrative declaration.com
you'll find out more about the show when we go live our our stream schedule all that other fun
stuff along with the youtube channel and stuff like that and which also after uh this episode
all new episodes like six and onward go to the narrative declaration channel so it'll no longer
be on the zone of the bear channel so hooray we got our own little separate youtube channel thing so
always remember that that's where all the future episodes will start going
so with that everyone and thurston what adventure do you have for us today
oh i'm not everyone oh i see how this is everyone and thurston okay i was just buying time to bring
up my recap as we begin today our intrepid band of destined chuckle fucks continued their exploration
of the buried city temple eventually leaving the temple they found a path that led to the surface
and following a successful explosive excavation bombing by baldrick the pcs emerged back into
outsets uh commons district uh uh by the by the sinkhole and would discovered rediscovered their
their friend crunch of lejabet the the blacksmith warrior who had uh previously been sort of hang
hanging around and uh help helping out around the the apartment he he appeared once again and our our
destined chuckle heads uh encountered him once more uh and they learned that crunch had been chasing the
the mysterious elemental beast that baldrick had spotted before uh the group had fallen into the
sinkhole in our first episode baldrick of course took this opportunity to escape while crunch convinced the
remaining heroes that they should probably go see a medic about rot infection so uh with baldrick on
the rest of our heroes departed and then they went to meet with cousin ginebrin a devotee of the bishop
who checked them for infection and baldrick was also there but also quickly left again uh cleared of
any uh rot infestation ginebrin did suggest that the pcs check in with the gargoyle scholar duhakis who
is currently holed up at the cackling jackass tavern um who as duhakis might have more information
about uh the old powers temple and like this this possible destiny that the pcs may or may not have
um along with that uh cousin ginebrin also suggested that the pcs maybe go meet with a merchant to stock up
an equipment and suggested a local merchant in the the sinkhole region by the name of blotus and provided a
duress uh for their emporium uh following this the group then decided to tag along with cronch who uh took
them to a blacksmith he was uh basically a black former blacksmith site he was promised and uh purchased
upon his uh arrival in the city of course the smithing area was the building right next to baldrick so the
party ran into baldrick again as the heroes reconvened with baldrick cronch went in to explore his new smithy
whereupon he suddenly collapsed uh the heroes rushed in to save cronch who had been waylaid by a group
of burrowing pick spiders after a tough battle our heroes proved victorious and we begin our session
uh in that exact moment with the the pcs having um having overcome the uh the pick spiders in the
in the in the blacksmithing uh shop next to baldrick's house and let us uh let us start there cronch has
been on the ground sort of like coming to consciousness all of you have just finished this fairly you know
intense combat against these uh these spiders their their corpses now litter the grounds in this area
uh there's the burning of the forge here uh all of you are like in one way or another affected by this
though primarily volley and tanhauser who've been royally royally messed up um well you know a good
amount of messed up uh but we we begin here uh following your defeat of the spiders
all right we've checked to make sure that cronch hasn't eaten it right
he's good we're all good buddy i'm gonna like knock on his helmet uh yes yeah oh yes uh yes
mm-hmm yes i appear to have been bitten in the back of back of back armor plate of my knee
oh it oh very woozy oh take a look at cronch all right now listen i just had to fight a bunch of
spiders with the help of my friends i'm more beat up than cronch is
mm-hmm i mean like it's hard to tell you don't get like a physical look the guy's like walking in
a set of like massive plate armor that is true does his armor look especially scuffed or does it look
like there was just the one major his armor looks scuffed but it's looked scuffed since you
encountered him as he relayed his like battle with the strange elemental creature
well whatever i suppose it's to him i'm gonna help him to his feet
oh thank you thank you sir sir tanhauser i i think it's got me in the back of my knee and oh
oh the poison is very potent
do we think that we can do anything about this infection that seems to have seized you
oh well i i think i think i'm i think i'm battling it well myself i just i just needed a moment to rest
hmm it's glad you came when you did yes i'm not gonna lie i kept thinking that he was like oh oh the
poison to the back of my knee could you please uh get it out of it for me and he like positioned his
leg i kept thinking he was insinuating just gonna like ah no i'm not gonna suck on your knee
or then you need to suck the poison out
that's disgusting man
it took us like five fucking two minutes to reach fucked up territory new record good job
hey thurston since we're here can i roll alchemy to harvest alchemical ingredients from the spiders
yeah give me a give me crafting check absolutely thank you
well baldrick does that who's gonna make his way over to
oh i got two wanna die 11 total yeah yeah no not not quite enough like these these these have been
pretty messed up like a lot of them suffered fire damage like your alchemicals did a number on them
um for the most part these all died in like horrific circumstances that doesn't that doesn't
quite make harvesting viable here
sorry it was hovering on that 18 whatever it was it was i'll let them continue doing whatever the
hell they're doing oh look it's it's a glorious forge and crunch like looks over the forge here and
then like goes over to like some of the smelting equipment oh yes it's good oh oh yes
very good yeah this could be quite quite quite place i could i could forge all sorts of arms
and armaments here yes yes yes yes we'll have to uh clear up these holes in the wall
don't want more spiders getting in here we should probably check on the holes in the wall make sure we
don't have any more friends coming in that's right who are orin do you know anything about the nature of
these spiders a way we could look out to make sure that they don't return i can start that's a
question you go first you go hers you you look at him first let me see what i know about these
creatures i'm going to roll nature yeah you got an 18 on the diet for 26. very nice there's the 18
on the diet i'm leaving this team here is my nature check and i got a 16. i'm new to the city so i
don't know that much i'm new here um okay uh let's see here so a 16 any 26. all right so
uh as i put up my handy pdf on pig spiders which you know we have um yeah so you would be able to
to know enough about pig spiders in this case these are um or sorry i should say these were adult pig
spiders so they are you know like tougher tougher creatures um you'd know that they're yeah they're
they're insectile they do possess a venom and orin and rahua you would both know this you'd know that
they they possess a venom that what it does is it it like deals poison damage to you slowly which
like drains your your your hit points in life but also like gradually it enfeebles you and after a
while it can outright paralyze you um typically these types of creatures though um you know that they
inhabit like tight dark spaces that fill either more decrepit parts of the cities or places that
haven't been ventured to in a long time uh specifically in this case if this building
had been abandoned for a while and they were in sort of the caves underneath that makes perfect sense
um rahua your additional knowledge would be a bit more about like their their society um
if yes society of pig spiders if um if a group uh tends to enter into a pig spider's territory they
become very territorial and attack um so it's it's somewhat strange that they attack like lone cronch
but given that this was probably their nest that this was like a defensive point for them so they
would they would attack in this circumstance but normally uh in like kind of alleyways and
subterranean tunnels that these spiders are more typically found in they'll actually let individuals
pass like unmolested it's just once you become like a group of two or more they they sort of freak out
at multiple targets and attempt to protect what they perceive as their space um they can also break
stone because of their claws so they they burrow through stone but you'd know that generally if you
were to like clear up the holes here they probably wouldn't come back especially if someone was living
here and there was you know active movement and such going on here oh yes i know quite a good deal
about these pig spiders it appears that we have sauntered into what would might be a den of sorts for
these creatures they were merely defending their territory when we had rudely barged in although
it is worth noting that uh sir cronch may not be as well off as he appears in fact we may have to
take radical means as pig spider venom is quite potent you had me at radical we have to cut off his leg
what i i need this leg to to leg uh oh oh no i propose with my knowledge of medicine that we
perform a radial amputation post haste right preferably above or takes out a knife
oh hold that by the by the first house what are you doing now we're just healing you do not resist
if we do not take your leg immediately you may be paralyzed and you will not be doing much crunching for
the room i'm feeling much better i swear no no no that's just no that's just the poison taking
effect we gotta take his legs i cast a tangle
what the okay yes okay yes that was a laugh
this was nearly a joke sir crunch will probably be okay probably oh
you don't have to tell me oh oh oh you're so funny
he almost got off his leg are you lot
five minutes oh thank the god he like falls
no but seriously do not uh do not let them bite you more than once they may actually paralyze you
forever oh are you all they're mostly done dealing with this man now
let me help yeah yeah but i orange gonna start going around each individual and i'll just roll a
couple medicine checks or nature checks actually because of a druid they started healing people up
because i think uh valley and tenhauser still have some hp loss so i'm just gonna start bringing people
up so i'm gonna start out with cronch just to help him out check him sure that's uh 23. uh i'm using
nature check by the way for people uh i actually would master basically i'm just like checking people
out really help him out okay you're good i'm gonna heal valley up
you get healed for 2d8 and i'm gonna do yeah 2d8 there you go and for tenhauser
you will be healed i'm gonna hurt you actually
arn comes up to you and he's just like hey like hey man like your you know like your leg there seems
a little you know bed and pit and everything else i see like is that oil yes oh well i'm not really
good at this but he spits in his hand which is healing plaster for him because he has that spell
that's just a healing goop and he just starts slapping it on there guy this is a remedy my dad
taught me and i'm gonna assume that might do something to you because i realized one because
you just put on your hands you slap it on tenhauser's leg and you're just you fool you've created a
temporary vacuum and there's like a small explosion 1d8 damage i'll make you roll it zoran okay you take
six points of damage he was going to take my leg you see but now his leg is the one to suffer oh the
gods they are merry i just stand over him
don't say a word i just stand over him and stare looming yeah he's like he's like like slept against
the water like just chuckling to himself this is what they call irony right
no oh that's what they call irony i i think this is uh i think this is that
how's it yes are you going as i heal you twice yeah oh you you're gonna hurt me too
no tanny i've just put my hands on his shoulder it's okay oren tried his best see he's trying so
hard yeah i tried my hardest i know it's okay you did your best what makes the scene is baldrick in
the shadows like just he's trying to figure out what to do with these bodies and i actually had
an idea may i use them as sandbags to fill up the holes that they tunneled through yes i will just take
the fucking spider corpses like oh gross yeah i mean listen that one's on fire and acid so we need
to volley is over here complaining like what are you doing that's disgusting listen if they don't like
seeing their own dead this is an excellent use for them and spiders don't stink when they rot
i guess not but i don't really think giant spider corpses are ideal decor for a storefront just hey
crotch well well they won't be coming down near the storefronts up upstairs i'll be doing my work i
i don't mind in fact it's it's a tremendous victory we had here as friends the beginning of a of a great
adventuring group i mean i i i i yes yes look at this this is the stuff of legends you know
there could be like a scene happening right now where you yes could you theoretically just you
know glaze them in iron or something then you'd have some pretty good looking ornaments for this
lower area oh yeah iron rot spider corpses oh you know you know that's not a bad idea actually
more i think about it let me just stand up here oh yeah this is good it could be quite good i i was
thinking i might you know do something useful like inscribe runes onto weapons but but but metal
spiders that's that's yes very interesting all right will you be fine if we depart upstairs out of the
forge away from the spiders oh yeah i'll shout if i see any more of them yeah i'm sure you will come on
all right good good good could you uh the flame look at the flame could you could you put this essence on
my coat or to my scarf or whatever could add the pin to it
i'll show them the essence of the drown so we can imbue it onto my armor yeah yeah yeah yeah
yes i i most certainly could could imbue this one too uh i'll need about a day or so to uh to make
it work but i could i could place this on your armor absolutely okay here you go he hands his scarf
okay do you have like any actual armor i have leather armor okay okay so this has to be affixed
to your actual armor like you can't just put it on your scarf yeah i wish to turn my scarf into an
armor no yeah that's like like this would be like like uh like a rune it would be affixed like a rune
so he would he would need your whole armor for it to do it oh i know i was trying to bullshitting you
so i can keep my armor yeah no fuck you give me your armor tatenhauser come over here now i'll just
say that it's unequipped or whatever let me actually pop it in so everyone can see my character sheet
and then i click this button and i go dropped so now i don't wear it right now so we can consider that
what if my memory serves your well looking up and down tennhauser's mechanized body function off of
what would i assume would be hydraulics right yes i my chassis contains a highly sophisticated
hydraulic system buoyed by an internal quantum disentanglement engine that's great also did you
notice most spiders function similarly their limbs move via well neither too unknown viscous hydraulic fluid
i think we might be able to fix well how i might i put this how fucked up you are right now
you are saying that spiders are the automata of the natural world i mean in a kind of roundabout way
i suppose that's pretty rad all right i'm on board now if you hold still for just a moment rahua's going
to reach down to the spider corpse uh and just kind of i guess lackadaisely bring it over there's no
there's no there's no caution to it uh now i would like to attempt a nature check in lieu of medicine
to try and transplant some of this synovial fluid from the spider into tannhauser to replenish his
juices what are you doing okay so you're trying to also do a treat wounds action now normally you can
only benefit from one treat wounds in an hour but since this is so utterly disgusting i will allow it
on the on the condition that if you critically fail you will do even more damage to tannhauser
can art assist with the operation no you may not
i remember what you did i'm just trying to make amends man yeah you know you know i think i've got
i think i've got a good idea of what i need to be doing baldrick's gonna take a couple legs from the
spiders and haul them over his shoulder all right seeing as how we're going to be hanging out together
i'm going next door to boil these when you're done playing amateur hour surgery swing by do you
guys do you need help bothering boiling spider limbs yeah sure tannhauser looks pleadingly so
so orrin doesn't have to nod thanks i have taken the boy to help make crab boil
it's delicious all right all right please this up for me hulky please i would love to
someone just gave you a hero point
i gave you a hero point for this thank you
you didn't need hero if you fuck this up you're gonna kill him
baldrick get down here i fucked up big time that's what i was waiting for too they'd be in the room
next door and then oh guys you do have a hero point it's a fail but it's not a critical fail so
you won't damage him but you won't heal him but you do have a hero point but you could turn that
into a critical fail but what are the chances of that hulky crow what are the chances i like
oh my god we're gonna hero point this i don't know oh we roll for one it's worse it's 11.
originally still not a crit fail but it is it is still not like you're just like putting
fucking like spider goop on him with no idea you've cracked open the leg and you're kind of dripping it
like when you like break open an egg except you're dripping it into like an intake valve and then there's
just a separation between the goop that powers tan hauser and the goop that powers spiders so now
he is part spider there is an overlap oh my gosh the transplant has been successful you are now a man
hey how did your first character die on stream oh well you know i had this great heroic sacrifice
at the end of the last campaign oh speaker how did your first character die complications
spider juice there was there was there was there was an issue with trying to transplant some
creature's blood into his every new campaign we have just we have to pick one cast member to die
so sorry speaker you got all that sorry i know so i imagine this horrible procedure goes on for
longer than it should and until eventually it hurts a little too much and tan hauser just grabs
throw him by the shoulder i'll just walk it off yeah it's not even hurting you it's just awkward
like it's just this like spider limb that's like he's poking it
um also mark down to a hero point i just want to just want to you know make it known that that was the
use of the use of almost to make it worse yeah um and like crunch now is staring into the flames like
ah yes good good yes oh yes flame i i should i should impart this this this essence of this being yes
yes yes and he's like pulling out the armor that was provided by oran and is like getting it ready and
like it's leather armor but he's still like getting the necessary equipment ready oh yes yes yes yes
everyone in this town is unhinged now come friends we must plan to blow up a building
kettle black blah blah blah all right uh so so with that are all of you going into uh into into
baldrick's home to enjoy some uh some some spider legs i enjoy some deep yeah later legs they're not
deep fried he's boiling them like crabs how do they taste like crab i'm imagining spiders are probably
like land crab like sort of like how scorpion is land lobster tanhauser will uh scorpion is not land
lobster do not put them on a pedestal like that so so uh you you you both like god damn it uh the
three of you uh like walk uh through the uh through the smith shop out the door over to baldrick's where
when you walk in you see baldrick and oran are in there um what is the scene as as the the three uh
walk into your home baldrick uh well i mean the house is in the usual condition that it was when they
last entered in uh he has put aside a bunch of alchemical equipment off of his wood-fired stove
and is is currently busily scrubbing out a very large black cauldron the the the walking one is
nearby just kind of plaintively bumping into the alchemical equipment he set aside and he is now
filling the freshly scrubbed cauldron with water it's the little cauldron with legs like a roomba
is it just like hitting the wall he's bumping into the equipment because that's where he goes
do you have like a magical device that tells you your your magic pot is stuck yeah it's the magic pot it
goes i am stuck yeah yeah it makes it makes it makes a gong noise that indicates that it has
impacted something which as a cauldron it should not be doing it's just gonna pick it up and like
turn it in the other direction like waddles off just stumbling out you know if we had some
past this movie this would make a great humble liar we don't have much i'm running off of a very
skint budget here hmm i mean we did just get paid yeah but why waste money on food when you could
waste that on alchemical supplies and armor oh that too i do think a celebration is due
i mean think of what we just accomplished we defeated a giant monster in the catacombs we crawled
through got a grand destiny and now we have real estate well i mean you've always had real estate
but now we do too i love that you're taking over crunches home too like like that ours it's totally
is but it's ours like you just put in the basement like people's real estate look at the forge crunch
oh the flame the flame and you're like sweet house look i won't say it's not impressive you did we
we got up to quite a bit down there however i must point out that we did it mostly under duress
if we can actually stick together and perform any sort of effective act i'll consider that a success
that comes down to you doesn't it yes it does very true we do have that party to crash
correct speaking of party i i i was going i was going to say like also do you do you all need
like a reminder of just like some of the things that had been thrown out as far as like where you
can go now because i know i've thrown a bunch of things no i'm planning on leaving as soon as baldrick
boils up these legs in a crab feast spider feast for everyone it's we just we just got
no no no no no i wouldn't mind out a little reminder yeah no no i i it's it's more it's
it's more like i i want you to have this character moment i just don't want you all to be like all
right we're gonna boil spider legs until thirsty throws something at us so we can react
okay okay um so just like uh a reminder there were a few sort of leads you've had over the
the first few sessions that you can follow up on um first off uh cousin ginnabren had suggested you go
meet with uh blotus the merchant in case you want to make any purchases get any equipment
um you know items that sort of stuff uh so you have them mark they're they're they're nearby in the
district uh then you had duhakis the sort of gargoyle scholar who might know more about the
old powers and seems to be kind of like if you had a quest log this would be the one marked story
quest fuckos um in the cackling jackass and might know more like more about like the the old powers
and what might be going on in that temple and what what had happened to you um you also like had like
that sort of loose lead on the elemental creature baldrick you're the one who spotted that um before
everyone sort of fell into the pit like you and when you threw your smoke stick in in the first
session that bought you enough time to kind of catch the sort of outline of that creature yeah um and
you know that's been going around um and then you also have um marlene lagasse the uh the member of
the architect's guild who sent you there in the first place that you were like a little bit sus
about given the timing on everything how i was kind of thinking for baldrick at the very least is go
merchant stuff so we could all get our you know spent money on improved equipment then we maybe check
out the lead on some of the side stuff like the architect's guild lady who totally paid us to go to
a place where we fell into a pit yeah i'll leave it up to you guys to decide that's kind of the
that's what i'm asking them i'm waiting for a response from someone you can do this all in
character as you're boiling up spider legs and decide what you want to do but that's sort of my
reminder and a reminder for the audience now then we have these paths we can hunt after that strange
monster we couldn't confront the guild member we could check out the cackling jackass or speak with
blorbo blorbo blorbis bloat us blow toward bluto sure close enough i do think that a little bit of
shopping is necessary just to talk back up and all that but i'm all for the cackling jackass i mean
clearly you just want to get drunk yes is that so wrong and you should also get drunk when we're
following leads getting sloshed is not an appropriate action okay then i will get appropriately inebriated
if it means that you can have someone swing by and talk to them you can drink with them don't drink to
get drunk not right now fine fine fine fine the pot is now boiling and he throws in a bunch of spider
legs with reckless abandon it looks like someone just stuffed a whole spider in there it might
and like randomly one of them just starts twitching in the water i hit it with my club yeah
it may be worthwhile to investigate that strange beast it would be good to know if we were set up by
the guild or if it was the beast's doing or some combination varium i think that can be easily solved
by going to our architect guild contact and figuring out from there you expect the truth from the
architects guild in one way or another no i don't think that's wise far too easy for them to lie to us
best we come to them with a better understanding of what happened that evening we could lie to them
first tell them that we encountered something that we didn't watch for a reaction see if they were
expecting anything we quite clearly survived which if they intended us to die obviously would be a bit
of a shock and if they didn't it would be business as usual it feels like a bit of a roundabout way to
kill us doesn't it well considering why take that much interest considering you lot aren't exactly you
know maldrick kind of motions to himself you kind of just bumbled along with me i would say in that
situation i don't think they have it up for you just yet i would say if anyone is the bumbler it would
be you yeah because i bumbled into you lot yes and we carried you through the dangerous adventure now
we talking about carrying here as a matter of fact we are no no fighting ladies you're both pretty
excuse me am i pretty yes you're the prettiest and baldrick grabs a spider leg out of the cauldron
with a pair of tongs it has changed color and is now blue he points it at volley now listen here
we're all working as a team on this situation i have already considered that you have all brought
something to the table here i'm not about to say i'm the best and most powerful person in the entirety of
outset that wasn't what i was getting at at all what i'm getting at that it's kind of a dangerous
situation to be hanging around with me now where you can all work together and you can all get
yourselves a bounty along with me if you wish well i've already got one baby i know danger
uh like i said and how many men i have killed baldrick you seem to be operating under the
assumption that you are the most important and wisest among us i assure you we are all dangerous
criminals cut to roha we are so glad that you're here i mean i broke a bunch of plates and i broke a man
enough that was only massive yes as they say it was like a a bowl in a china shop but i don't know
why they would contain i have a problem with so many balls there they sell plate with all kinds i
don't really understand the euphemism the camera just like like slowly zooms in on rohua's eye and we
hear the screams of a man followed by the like ripping tearing sound jesus i didn't tear i didn't go
doom guy in this guy i didn't insect him he just he just walked into a shop like a pottery shop and just
started rolling around it wasn't actually a man it was a mannequin oh i only know what they charged me
with i don't know exactly what i did never nevertheless i don't take any umbrage associating
with you baldrick change is often as violent as it is gradual and you seem to understand that
like many of our compatriots here well just so you know i hope they pick a good picture for you when
it comes time for your bounty they screwed up mine a couple times oh did they get your nose wrong
you have any idea how stupid it is when you look for a wanted poster of yourself and they draw
this he does this to his helmet how many times they get this wrong it's a bucket for christ
sake it's it is just a bucket and yet they drew it as a cone they drew it as a sphere they drew it as
a box it's a cylinder i guess geometry isn't something they teach in elsa you see this is hard
demolish this government can't draw boxes properly it's not a boxed he's gonna throw a spider leg at
ten howard's fear is drawing on and it's a slightly misshapen version of baldrick's head
you see this is perfect the fact that they can't recreate this i don't understand spider leg
maybe you should be drawing the wanted posters danny
yes though they'd be less wanted posters and more recruitment ads
i'm not gonna follow you down this rabbit hole who wants another leg
me he draws out some more he's passing them around
yeah does red does we eat i don't know like to hold it he's just gonna smell it
orange's gonna lean over to her and go hey you gonna eat that
i don't know if i can i cry for you
put it in your mouth hold on let me uh i'm gonna let the internal forces of chaos decide what the
fuck i'm going to do right now oh no he's consulting chat kill him oh no
no one so rahua will hold the crab leg up observe it sorry the land lobster leg
observe it for a moment put it towards his mouth his physical mouth and just crunch down on it
wasting part of the crab leg is this is this how i'm supposed to i mean you're made of wood i don't
think it matters try to swallow it i thought you didn't have an esophagus
so it just kind of like balls out of us
yeah so what you have done is you have you have basically applied a 1d4 additional slashing effect
to your next bite attack
yeah i like it'll it'll it'll be like five sessions from now it'll be like who is the only one left
like he jumps and tries to bite your opponent and it's like okay i guess uh give me like a 1d4
damage oh but the but the spider there's all right fine 1d8 spider i have envenoming on my next bite
attack yeah yeah exactly no it's just dragon wound grease uh you're gonna you know who's just gonna
see he cannot eat as his friends can eat he's going to instead lower it down to the orb and his
carapace and just start pushing it towards it and you just hear this faint almost wailing
whistling almost like wind but it's it's worse i i can't it's a horror beyond my comprehension i
can't possibly describe it but it just kind of dematerializes as it flats of it just kind of move
into the orb as if it's sucking it in all right no food for you oh
also i see so many people so many people in chat are being like where's the drawn butter
where's the tartar sauce where's the cocktail sauce he is at the poverty line baldrick is like lower like
low class what what do you mean he has salt to boil you can steal tartar sauce no who's going to be
making it but you're an alchemist do you mean you can't alchemize tartar sauce thurston if you think
about it cooking is alchemy in a way yeah thurston i'm gonna roll crafting make a uh a flask of tartar
water sauce okay do it up yes yes yes it's a natural one oh so that's why in terms of the ketchup
no because the problem is i'm using alchemy to craft it
um okay uh one sec one sec one sec um you know here here on the uh the narrative declaration channel
i am a firm gm believer in um rewarding failure um can i make chocolate syrup instead no no no no no
instead you uh uh instead you make a necrotic bomb oh good oh there you go
do i get to keep it for free i i will i will provide it onto your character sheet and you will
now know the formula to it really all right it's just that easy he will clunk down the like mason jar
filled with swirling black evil looking sludge all right dip it in this okay give it a spoon
orange dips it he trusts baldrick completely no rn dips it and takes a bite all right so let's see
uh you take three you take three negative damage
i just like pat his back you are sick until you are sick and one until you retch up this awfulness
it's like rich is a free action
or see what you did chat see what you did you tried to get let me to make tartar sauce out of the materials
available in baldrick's house he has no cooking materials he has all chemical grids instead he
made a necrotic bomb that deals negative energy damage and uh i like to retch for one action yeah
yeah absolutely this is a combat in general now hold my hair hold my wings
feathers
voli's been in this position before i'm gonna hold his hair yeah
no problem buddy no problem i hope you'll be my background girl when i go to a club
oh absolutely all the time
we'll we'll see which of us lasts longer and maybe you'll have to hold my hair look at each other girl
a basin jar of necrotic bomb to tanhauser you want to try some under no circumstances
all right good because he seals it back up looks at it and then stuffs it in his coat pocket
i didn't think i could do that sure
why do i know why do i know necrotic bomb now because you made the worst tartar sauce
known to man can it be a special version you're not making a necrotic bomb you're just making bad
tartar sauce and weaponizing it
the worst tartar sauce known to man asked to leave party as to leave his own house
i'm looking at my looking at my formulas thirst and where's necrotic bomb
i'll give you one sec to go go on while he's well he's fun yeah okay our next course of action
i believe we must understand our own aims
what exactly are we hoping to accomplish before the sun sets
prepping for whatever we got to do next preferably with the funds given to us by the architect's guild
and then ideally figuring out exactly what went on with regards to that creature that set fire to
the building we went into and then if possible deal with the architect's guild member who sent us
there in which and go to the bar sure and the bar too why not all right then i have planned our day
here's our course of actions we shall first go and meet bulimbo at the shops lotus
just speaking with bimbo we will then obtain our items after which time we shall go confront the
beast at the ruins after ascertaining the truth at the ruins we may then confront the guild leader at
our discretion at which point we will wind down and get valley blue girl wasted at the bar
i'm down for that blue girl wasted on account of her being blue and such
i see i am blue
yeah
good talk thurston i would like to make cocktail sauce
you can't learn another alchemical recipe by accident yeah you keep getting away with this
i don't want to learn another chemical recipe by accident i want to make cocktail sauce
he's gonna roll a 20. he wants to make
you could use your talent you could cure cancer i don't want to cure cancer i want to make cocktail sauce
do i make cocktail sauce with a 21 yes nice you shouldn't say no
wow yeah yeah holy listen i'm pretty sure so here's the thing cocktail sauce is made with tomato
i'm pretty sure nightshade is a member of the tomato family i think it works out
oh my fucking christ okay okay okay please uh
all right fine we we consume we consume our spider legs with the newly created cocktail sauce what do
we heal it's del- it's delicious you heal nothing you have a fine meal in you
do we take a short rest to take like a like a lunch nap you know yeah i'm fine with a day siesta
i mean considering like none of you have actually had a rest yet yeah let's rest let's actually rest
this time hey that'll that'll refresh my chemical well i guess you did before you left the the the
ruin you you took a full full rest yeah but uh if you want to maybe take like uh let's regain our
spells and just heal we we can we can do that right now you're in a safe safe uh safe space
yeah we'll rest at the sight of grace yeah yeah there's just this like floating
crystal in baldrick's house
good all right listen i have a couch they could all crash on that
oh yeah it's a big old puddle puddle it's a two-person couch for four people
the sight of grace is between the cushions you have to find it it gets lost in the side of grace is on
the floor you all have to bend down to sit at it zorn the bear seek seek last
all right uh you you all uh rest up um regaining all of your spells your hit points you're all fine
i'm sorry someone in the chat hit me hard baldrick tries to make oregano and makes digitalis instead
my man i don't make heart medication he's he's only a terrorist by accident yeah
no incidental he's just really untalented chef all typical for another episode of bars bowery's and bombs
bowery i don't know i was looking for a b word fuck off yeah it's a good b word
i'm like doing you a wordle hooky
hold on
next bit streamer yeah all right all right all right you've rested up
um um so yeah you're going to make your way to uh the merchant i believe right yes lorbo
lorbo the merchant all right um okay so you begin to make your way to the uh the area that was
denoted by cousin ginebrin it's it's further into the the commons area which means you're you're now
sort of going into the like away from the edge of the sinkhole and more into the actual district
itself uh there's sort of a like the the base 20 stories of any of outsets like pilaster districts
are about yeah 20 stories worth of just buildings on top of buildings on top of buildings and then
that rises even higher as you get closer to the the pilasters though in the case of this district
it's a bit different in that there's kind of like haphazard buildings that rise up like an
anthill around it until like the very edge where it sort of drops off so as you as you carry on
further away from the sinkhole like the buildings here start to get a little bit like a well very
tall uh pretty early on there's several stone edifices that have been constructed on top of
one another and then even on top of that there's like a a hodgepodge of wooden structures that are
jutting out from other buildings and you you in fact you see entire areas of just like wooden
shanties built on top of each other and connecting to other areas now as as you carry on uh towards the
location of blotus's emporium you you find it um it's located on a elevated section uh of stone that
appears to have been a prior uh tower-like building that has collapsed on its side and then from the
sort of collapsed ruins a building has emerged out of it it appears to be mostly stone with some wooden
reinforcements uh looks like there's like various balconies uh there aren't many walls in fact it looks
like it's open and mostly like pillars with um kind of like drapes that block the way in so just lots of
fabric floating in the air here uh as you approach it you can actually get the the strong like smell of
incense coming from within uh and as you you get closer and closer you can see that there are um braziers
that are sort of swaying on chains off of some of the stone here just giving off different
different incense smells and it looks like none of them are the same so you're just you're all getting
assaulted by a variety of smells and then you can also hear like kind of like discordant music that
seems to play from certain areas on the inside um like like almost like a cacophony of kazoos at a very low
low low pitch
this is okay uh-huh
all right well uh let's go ahead and go inside i'm
dying to know more about this porn walks in i uh i'd like to just really quick before i go in
make an obscure arcana check i don't think i'm gonna be able to get this but
uh incense is usually burnt for a spiritual or like um otherwise purpose so could i potentially
identify what kind of incense and for what purpose this incense might be
can can i assist him with an occultism i'd allow an arcana check and an occultism check for one from
both of you to serve i just wanted to assist him with that check but that was fine 28. he doesn't
need it but i'll try occultism yeah occultism goes nowhere with 12. okay uh so tanhauser like your
your encyclopedic arcane knowledge uh comes to press on this topic as you're you're seeing the instances
here are varied um and each of them have different arcane like some of them you can tell are like this one
would would ward off the presence of malasites this one would attract the presence of malasites
like it's it's very odd and each of the incenses is different um so you're not quite sure but you
can tell like there's there's a lot of different varieties of them here see
beware everyone we walk into the lair of a charlatan
oh i mean like just about every other alchemist and outset essentially yes
good so oran you've already pushed your way in um and as you sort of push through the drapes you
you step in the smell of incense is overpowering and somehow even though like it shouldn't have
blocked the sound the kazoo sound gets a bit louder as you enter here again this discord like
background noise um oh you don't do oh you monster um but you would you would like
as you come in you you do see that this place is a multi-leveled area so there's like a balcony up top
um there's tables set up at almost all points here with just a variety of items you walk in and see
like a plethora of weapons that are on display there appear to be glass cases over top of the
tables so like you can't directly touch the items uh and then there's there's more lines of drapes as
though it kind of is uh concentric rectangles of drapes sectioning off areas as you get deeper in
um can you give me a perception check as you get in sure thing as a click a button click the button
bro no perception i got a 25 right no uh there's uh for the i have a 23 actually three yeah this is
not initiative yeah okay um so yeah you come in and you're you you hear the discordant sounds you
smell the smells but also underneath the the discordant music you hear this low key buzzing sound like
very like infrequent and as you look around you can occasionally see uh flies that are like moving
between some of the drapes towards the center
i'm gonna do a nature check of those flies sure
as oran looks at them is they one of the hell are those 29 for my nature check
they are like the the common style um quote unquote house flies that you would expect to see
in outset the sort of scavenger vermin that go around the city uh collecting food like mostly
around like garbage areas or places with detritus um but you you there's nothing like immensely special
about them but but it's it's odd to see them in a place that's pretty well kept like this is
yeah it's like either there's a source of something in there which oran will keep pushing through uh
following the flies basically to the source and they come on guys yeah and like uh the rest of you you
come in and see all of this as well as oran is moving like closer and closer towards the center pushing
through the drapes uh and oran as you do you can hear that like the the sounds of the the discordant
kazoos and the buzzing get louder which each with each layer that you push through of these these
drapes every layer also reveals like new types of items you find that you're you're seeing like
displays of of fine like silks and then you're you're seeing a display of what appears to be raw
minerals then you're seeing a display of what's like firearms like you're pushing and pushing and
pushing and going going closer to the center and then the sounds are getting louder never never enough to
be uncomfortable or too loud you're just you're you're hearing the increase of the intensity until
you reach the center and at the center is like an open space with a rug and various pillows that have
been set up and lounging up against several of the pillows is this utterly emaciated figure who looks
up at you with this wide grin um like like almost looks like a malnourished wretch and stares up wide eyes
with almost a rictus smile at you auren does he give me a greeting or anything or just he's just smiling
he's just smiling at you hey you uh you sell that good stuff oh hello there welcome yes i be selling
all of the good things i do oh no all of that for this and alphabusa hate crime oh
alphabusa gets angry oh nice oh this man is about to kick me into a pit
wow that's a winning smile yeah but that's that's a salesman smile right there well
i would definitely like to you know bruise around a little bit trying to get me up a little something
something if you're allowing oh of course everything's for sale here everything everything has a price
and i blutus the fly merchant will will sell anything take your coin take take your items in trade oh
that's what they do here righteous okay well i'm gonna start bruising around so at that hope you
don't mind and oran's gonna i assume there's like like aisles of stuff and everything else and oran's
gonna yeah it's just like basically everything's sort of separated off by those um like concentric
rectangles of of just drapes so it's like everything has different areas here
uh the rest of you would walk through at this point like having seen seen oran and then all of
you see see blotus the fly merchant sitting mm-hmm there buddy oh hello there thirst would
i be familiar with this man uh you can give me a society check society society uh let's give us
society society says yes at a 24. oh yeah a 24 is enough for you to know um like blotus has a bit
of a reputation in the area specifically um as being a very open emporium but anyone who has ever
trifled with him has disappeared like no trace just disappeared uh and so there's kind of this like
weird weird state that exists for blotus's emporium because it's like open there's no doors you could
come in in the middle of the night um but no one ever steals from blotus no one ever takes anything
from blotus because they just disappear does he does he agree with haggling or does he not
uh it's uh you know that that like everything has a price and everything can be negotiated
all right simple rules going down for approaching blotus here one don't take anything without the intent
to pay for it and to haggle away oh gotcha oh yes i like to hagglin it's the finest part of the day
well that and looking after me flies and he picks up this small cage that he has beside all of his
pillows it's like it's like a rectangular cage maybe like a foot long about a three quarters half a foot
tall with like large like relative bars of iron in which there's like just a swarm of flies clearly
the bars are spaced in such a way that the flies can fly out of the cage and they do with regularity
and yet there is just a massive swarm that stays inside of it
uh and he turns away from you volley to look at the cage of flies oh my little darlings they're so
good have they got names oh no no you you don't be naming the flies
the only thing you do is you look after them oh if i need to then i'll release the flies
the people are the flies i just give them a thumbs up and i i i'm moving toward the the firearms aisle
yeah yeah absolutely gm do i know enough about society to know if blotus has a firearms license
has you got a license for that has the atf been around um you know that everyone in town like gives or
at least like the single area gives blotus like a wide berth like the there aren't many government
officials who come here to check in on blotus and in fact given your knowledge you've probably purchased
things that shouldn't be available for purchase in town uh through blotus of course uh all right i
suppose we'll just be doing some shopping then unless anyone else wants to bother blotus
you don't you don't eat them do you
um he like like turns his head cocking it slightly to look at the cage and back at you
oh no that would be barbaric there my friends aren't they he like sticks his hand through the
bars a little bit you just hear the like the buzzing as like a few of them fly out and
kind of go over his head oh that's nice what do you feed them
oh well they they eat on their own they they come here when they're all fat and happy and then they
spend the time with me i think you need to stop asking him questions about his flies i just can't
look away isn't it right look at them would you like a closer look and he like holds up the cage
towards you tanhouser oh no i i i i get a closer look i there's a quick beat no yeah pushes it back
oh that's okay not everybody loves the flies but i love the flies sometimes i feel like i'm the only
one who loves the flies that's why they love me too that is probably the case tanhouser looks up
finally from inspecting the flies and he realizes there are just tapestries fluttering as everyone
else has departed yeah guys guys guys oh what about rahua was rahua like did rahua just pick off her
rahua's just taking it all in at the moment i don't think anything is going to be safe to use
on his companions from this merchant of repute
this is a very nice shop you own here oh thank you you're very nice representation of anarchy
i'm glad you noticed why did you notice oh it's the black orb i see it sometimes in in the fly visions
oh oh i don't like that and rahua just starts walking away and like as you like walk you just
hear the he says like the hand goes back in the cage and you hear them
we good with the hee hee hoo hoo now as you like leave to the next layer with the drapes closing you
all off from from blotus i'm just still reeling from the fly visions
we're just yeah we're just not gonna follow up are we are we just gonna huddle up all right
i think there's something wrong with bingo
i mean clearly something's wrong with everyone here
but um i'm normal i know i know tany but i see that there are guns here and frankly if fly guy is
gonna take my money for a good blunderbuss i'm not gonna question him and his fly visions
ah yes you should see if they have any explosive spears nearby
explosive spears wait wait if your spear explodes how do you use it more than once
you don't you just use it the once but it's a very effective use got it
all right i'm gonna i disappear in the gun i've had enough i need to find something to purchase now
all right so so uh well we can start with you voli if any of the rest of you want to do purchases
uh think of think of things you're you're you're looking for but voli i know you are quite interested
in guns um yes you can see that there are like several display tables uh with pistols um and
like you're you're marshally trained so you have a good understanding of firearms um like different
types of them there are various like simple firearms on display here from you know your average flintlock
pistols and muskets to like hand cannons uh which are like the the simpler ones though there are some
that are maybe a bit larger that you know well not even larger but just more advanced more more
components to them that might work better for you um you can see that there are you know dueling pistols
that are arrayed there are some double barreled pistols there are some there is yes a blunderbuss
that is like prominently on display as well though that is a two-handed firearm which i'm not sure how
you feel about that but there there is a wide array of weapons on display here my bloodborne dreams
crushed crushed in the cradle wily world gun section yeah i'm gonna specifically look at uh probably
dueling pistols uh just something for uh something for my other hand yeah yeah and you you start like
looking again there's sort of a glass case over these so like you're you're you're looking through the
glass and you can see that there's like you know an array of some some smaller pistols again probably
more suited to you um there there's definitely a really really nice looking uh set of dueling pistols
like two of them in fact that are just sort of arrayed on top of one another uh and as you like look
down and see the these that match kind of your aesthetic um a single fly lands on the glass between
your vision and the uh and the guns and just kind of like twitches around as flies are wont to do
it's it's head moving in strange angles blood i'm gonna like tap on the glass next to it see if it
buzzes off no and in fact like it like like jerks its its head and eyes up towards you and then you just
hear this oh do you like that a gun he just like jumps back hold on am i going insane sorry i'm gonna
like check my flask open it see that it's empty i'm sober right pulls out the reserve flask
i'm sober right baldrick i'm sober right can't hear you
oh hold on i'll lean down
pardon
oh oh no no no it's just i can hear your footsteps over there i i know where everybody stands in my
emporium the fly buzzes and flies off so do you like those pistols
yes i straighten up straighten my coat yes i love the pistols um what are you asking for the
the nice set well there'll be about 12 gold pieces each so 24 for the set
how much money do i have that's gonna almost clean me out but that might be worth it
a 24 for the set you said and does that include bullets
that'll come with uh 10 rounds each so 20 rounds
hmm do i need two guns it feels excessive but at the same time it's a
uh it's a set let's see uh what do we have in the people's loot again is that stuff we've brought
with us it is unassigned loot it is it is unassigned loot and then what is essentially like party money
which of of which you currently have 38 gold pieces and then 110 gold pieces of gems that you found in the
the the volley mural yeah right might be good to sell all of it and then consolidate because i
recommend people just kind of like find what they want to do which one item i would recommend especially
for people doing melee stuff is a striking rune because that basically say for example for a striking
rune you hit somebody with a melee weapon you roll like a d8 or something i strike your rune allows you
to basically roll 2d8 so it's just it's just a good flat damage increase that can help out with
some scaling so by the way thurston can i put the walking cauldron in my inventory now oh yeah i'll
shimmy that over to you please please do i just didn't do that because yeah beam i got you dog
all right um let's see i don't have a lot that i can haggle with
uh i do still have 38 unclaimed gold we do we do but i'm not paying full price for this i'm a pirate
you're going to steal it and disappear from the party no i don't want to get you into a fly or whatever
this man's going to show up in my dreams and turn me into a corncob i don't know you you you arrive
you arrive back at your home you arrive back at your home to sleep with the pistols in your
inventory and suddenly the wikipedia page for salmon as food appears in your head
oh boy uh okay yeah i'm just gonna give him uh a big smile so you can't see him like like like
there's drapes it's just his disembodied voice yeah from the center right like oh okay
oh so 12 a piece that makes 24. tell me is there a sort of first-timers discount
or you know some kind of rewards program
you'll be back for bullets i want you to give me some kind of uh social check like are you diplomacy
here um please please uh because i'm not lying to him so i can't use my big boy one
holy that's a 20. natural 20 baby
i just give him my winningest smile toss my hair and look regal just well i mean don't you think
these would look so good on me and it's like walking advertisement i appreciate that we have
established he cannot see you and you still like toss your hair back yeah we aren't exactly a brain
trust here and there's like a pause and like as you i turn into uncle phil we as as you say all of
this then there's just a oh rewards plan never thought about that huh i could i could have first
time a discount that's not a bad idea too maybe then people wouldn't uh wouldn't be so scared to come
back uh point system
yes you know like uh could you call them fly points flyers frequent flyers there we go
you're so smart all right how about to give you the set for 20 gold as a first-time bear
you know what oh god no chat no this is not the new the new version of points no no bloat is
points bloat coin
it's on the bloat chain
my flies i would like to tell you about their nfts
we're leaving the store we're going away now that we have firmly established uh cryptocurrency
within the world of outset because of volley's critical success and seductive nature what do we
do with this information i don't know give the man 20 gold pieces all right all right yes you like
you you like move your way back to the center where blotus is still lounging on the pillows
yes you could uh you could just uh put the coins in my other hand and he like reaches out his
other emaciated hand as he's still looking into the fly like cage he's holding we're going to have
such good times with this gold my friends i give him the gold and i walk off very quickly yeah and
like as you like rush out you can see like as you go like suddenly the table the glass is gone
what and like the guns are just open oh you can take them oh that's a that's a neat trick i just
take the gun i'm like making eye contact with blotus like watching him as i'm trying to take them
i'll try making the glass disappear that's a good trick
like you you pick up they've got really good weight they seem to seem to be pretty uh pretty
pretty quality i will uh get those on your uh your character sheet
yeah yeah you've purchased yourself two guns volley this is where we find out you cannot carry the bulk
kit no you're fine oh no no you're good collapse under the weight collapse and i have uh i have added
the the 20 bullets as well you have you have much yes you have very much good gun
uh so what are the rest of you uh uh baldrick you were you were looking around for purchasable stuff
yes i sure was i was hoping to pick up a better piece of equipment for armor like a breastplate of
some kind to also fit the art yeah also maybe a light melee weapon because having this thing scale
off a strength sucks okay okay um so for armor you can definitely like you you kind of go you realize
that the armor isn't on the the lower level it's actually in the sort of upper um balcony area the
sort of inward facing balcony so like you take like a set of spiral stairs that go up uh eventually
coming into the armored section where you can see there's there are various sets of armor on display
there's even small like plaques that indicate like magical non-magical um and you can see that like
a fine a fine set of breastplate is available and it seems like these because they're more common items
have like their their general costs sort of on display here uh in this case you can see that like the breastplate is
currently like going for eight gold pieces for like a regular set of breastplate uh i'll check
the enchanted side if that's not too much of an issue just looking for some very basic enchanted crap but
if it's like that much more out of range then of course i'm not going to do that yeah um so what you
could tell is that a um an armor an armor like potency rune which would be the things that would
actually enhance armor do do scale the price a fair amount like the the price for a like enchanted
breastplate is about 168 gold pieces hmm no i'll just take a stock breastplate and i'm going to assume
that is better than studded leather oh oh yeah absolutely and i remember you took medium armor right
that was the thing you took it was uh where would i find that feats yeah yeah i'm not sure i took
armored stealth that was it that was it okay okay okay um so yeah you might have some like some
some difficulty like you'll have to kind of figure out the ways and we'll we'll figure that out but
yes it is it is better uh than your your studded leather for sure uh yeah and i can give you this set
but again it's like it's a bulkier thing you might need some time to like figure out the best way to
make it work for you well considering the primary issue is that i'm no longer getting a dex bonus or
well it's going to be screwing up my dex bonus cap which isn't a problem because my dex is kind of low
anyway uh and that i have armored stealth it means that i would theoretically be a little bit better
with it anyway yeah i could still do stealth just reasonably fine yeah i have uh i have tossed
that over to you um good let me very good a half minus five speed penalty that's fine i can deal with
that yeah uh and i think if you like wear it if you like you you can grab it and put it on yeah
uh and at that point i'm also going to be looking for a light weapon a dex scaling one
all right well now that i'm at a dex uh cap of one i suppose it really doesn't matter i'll look for
a better weapon regardless because i don't think club is gonna do me any good if uh he permits it you
can look for a alchemist crossbow or something if that's would he have that here
ah so you're looking for for a fancy alchemist crossbow i see zoran the bear using his uh
his knowledge this is good this is good i remember asking regarding alchem alchemical weapons that
could hurl things longer distances and i was kind of turned down initially and i was like oh okay
this doesn't exist uh so yeah there there is a a special uh type of crossbow one
i have the info uh uh alchemical crossbow i'm gonna pull it up under the different thing that's
all yeah is it oh hey here i'll link it to you here and else you can look it up please do i just i
don't think it's in foundry but like yeah you could you could for example purchase like a a crossbow
that could could assist with the delivery of bombs that is something that is definitely available from
blotus's stock though chemically infused bolts okay so i'd have to figure out how to do that then
uh basically you could like slap a lesser alchemist bomb onto it and then it just deals the damage so
it's it's more of like a like turn your turn your bombs into to an effective arranged weapon which you
could do um but i i know you were also looking for a potential melee weapon as well so i'll look for
both i'm looking for like maybe a mace just something i can something better than a club
clubs like d4 uh yeah yeah so you're you're looking for something like a like even a a regular mace
would be like 1d6 uh would be probably better for you and yeah you could easily pick one up and
they're they're cheap yeah i'm just looking for something better than a 1d6 because apparently my club
does that okay um now at that point you're kind of looking into uh like martial weapons which you
aren't necessarily super skilled at so yeah yeah you're kind of like you're you're kind of like
specialized in bombs you could like upgrade to um basically like a side side grade but you could also
like look at magically enchanting your equipment which is what zoran was talking about the the sort of
the idea of the striking rune which would increase your weapon but that that also gets like a bit a
bit costly uh yeah i think at this point i'm just going to look for any way to augment my ability to
throw or hurl alchemical stuff at distance yeah for sure for sure uh and i think the crossbow would
would be like a thing i'll i'll get you set up with that don't worry cool uh and that would cost you
25 gold pieces for that crossbow pro so that's eight for the breastplate and 25 for that
are you negotiating or do you just pay the fly man and say nothing else uh negotiate would be diplomacy
uh yeah i would be like i would it would be a social skill of some kind i'm not gonna do it
this i could do a deception in theory
social feel free to you oh no that's up to thurston to determine it but i like to sometimes play with
skills like i have a plan that i want to use a nature check when talking to him but yeah always
just ask thurston and be all like hey get this logic word because for pathfinder second edition
one of the things i'm trying to think i'm trying to think yeah you got it oh hey thurston you mind
if i roll an outset law to see if uh alchemical crossbows are legally able to be sold from his shop
absolutely you can give me a check let's feel like the legalities of this uh 29. wow that's the
second natural 20 in a row i see you um so like you you you find this bow and immediately like
like trudge your way back to the center to like look at to meet with blotus who smiles as you come in
oh hello is something caught to your eye yeah this alchemical crossbow does catch my eye but i do need
to point out to you much as i'm sure you are not overly worried with the law i don't think you can
sell this but what do you mean i can't to sell it see check this he flips over the crossbow and
shows the uh maker's engraving on the underside specifically the ones with an outset this uh
engraving here is one of a batch the batch itself was flagged as being a hazard and was actually stated
for recall ooh and like as you're saying this a single fly like flies onto it and like starts
like moving around the batch symbol ooh who am i yeah much as i'm sure you have your ability to
deal with any sort of issue like this if someone someone unlike myself were to get this they might
have some words for you and the society community at large probably i would be willing to take it off your
hands on the cheap though on the cheap uh well uh i need to break even out all right how about uh
i'll give i'll give it to you for uh 20 gold pieces but that's that's it otherwise i don't
he's like starting to babble to himself blotus blotus blotus calm down i'm not going to filch you
i'll just take i'll take the bow and i'll pay full price for the blessed the breastplate here as well
this one seems to be in good order oh good uh yes yes yes yes yeah they're all uh they're all
available for you uh 28 gold pieces and i will call this legal matter over i don't want me or my
flies to be going to prison oh don't worry i'd find a way to bust you out flies have little handcuffs
all ball and chains oh and that won't be the end i would also like to try and look for any sort of
health potions that i can't craft okay um so i think right now that is mostly in like either the
magical domain of potions um so 28 28 yeah uh so basically you'd be looking at like healing potions
which are the non-alchemical version they're like the magic potion version uh magic potion uh the the
ones that you're you're able to purchase at your current like range would be the the minors or the
moderates uh the moderates are probably more what you're looking for they're 12 gold pieces apiece
uh and restore 2d8 plus 5 hit points uh they were how many pieces per 12 per you can get the the
miners which only restored d8 for four one two three four i could get three get four actually
you know what i'll knock myself down to one gold and i'll get four minor healing potions i will i'll
pay full price because i don't want to haggle with him anymore yeah at this point he's kind of like like
you get you get the one nice haggle with him uh here i'll drag these over and give you uh you'll get
four of them i will add these potions to the people's loot oh okay i will move them over to
the people's loot then for general utility for the party cool you're welcome babies
oh sorry it was lessers was the the ones you already have some lessers too so this will help help
help your uh overall stock so you now in the in the people's loot have four minor healing potions
and two lesser healing potions that'll do for me he'll sling the the crossbow over his shoulder
and he'll be messing with the the breastplate as he slips it over his tunic okay perfect uh which i
believe brings us to oran because uh zoran you had indicated you wanted to try some naturey
bullshit with me what are you looking for pal well first off i want to include tanhouser and rahua with
me i guess i have a plan uh because he'll kind of come up to both of them because he he assumes he's
just seen the brows around with everyone hey guys i really want to uh remember all those gems and stuff
that we found yes yes could you help me haggle with them i think i have a pretty good argument that
we can probably get a lot more from it it's just i just need you guys to help back me up this is where we
go wrong very well but this better work or in well i'm i'm hoping that's why i brought i'm bringing
you guys good point it will work then yeah and with zero hero points nothing could go wrong true
are you a better business person than you are repairing a mechanical man
don't worry about that oran begins to walk up forget about it or walks up the blow let's go
on like hey broskelet i have all these gems here and everything else and as far as i can really tell
that gem supply is really down here in outset and one of the things that i've been able to tell because
i live on the vajal mountains and gems like this actually becoming quite a rarity over in the uh
in the shipping lanes throughout the continents and as far as what i can tell the shipping areas
reach this continent like gems like these could actually go for a really nice price especially
down in the waterfront and we'd like to at least i'd like to ask for at least for the bag of these
to at least be like 200 gold that's much of the quality and the pleasure that they were in is a very
rare rare formation here and uh their origins could also be linked over to other parts of different
continents so they could even be exotic gems so i always like to sell these if you're willing to
buy them for at least 200 gold i want to point out to chat that these are like and i mentioned this
was they're literally like cubic zirconius like they're not they're not like deeply fancy gems
i don't even know how about you give me a bluff check dog i was like i only saw gem stack it
probably should be named what it is because that's all that i knew that it was so i had no idea that
was the information well okay so so you you want to to sort of sell him up sell him on this what
you were looking to use nature was your point yeah right this is saying hey rare okay well how
about you give me a nature chick to determine what you know about these gems okay i see how it's gonna be
i got a natural one so you so your your explanation literally doesn't change uh man instead he looks
at the gems up at you looks at the gems up at you oh but i think these are a cubic zirconius
you should buy these gems for a nominal fee because we would like to get sandwiches and we need the money
from the gems we used all of our goodwill for me and molly and now it's all gone 2021 yeah all gone
might i might i sweeten the pot so they say oh jesus the pot will reach his hand towards his orb
and re-manifest a cooked crab leg is that a crab leg it's a spider leg
shh just a bit shut up
and he'll slide it towards the non-existent entity
what oh uh oh we're in this time this moment okay
oh oh i uh um what kind of like okay is this a diplomacy check because at this point like it's
not your knowledge you're literally just like here have this it's totally ghoul hey gift
uh i don't roll to gift anything in diplomacy well oh my god
just give it to the guy we'll get like a two gold rebate this could only go well yeah exactly
yes
i got nothing
all right this is going to be one of those rare moments where i'm like just roll me a
fucking d20 hulky what could go wrong what's going to happen now is he's going to look at it he's
going to flip it over uh but you see this here on the serial number this means that these gems are
defective i'd better take them off your hands before you're going to jail
that's him
my flies and he puts like the the cage down next to the the leg and like the flies like start like
swarming over it
and like then like looks up at the cubicle like i assume orange still standing there like holding
out the pile of gems like bead of sweat down the face now they're good right
like looks over to like yeah looks over to rahua and the leg then like the face slowly turns towards
tan house all right i know oh this looks bad everyone but trust me i have this in the back
i whisper to my friends i adjust my collar i walk up to bloater yes i run at his wall i'm
gonna do a sick backflip
accomplishing what i do a cool backflip with a 17. pretty cool right
he got a one and it caused damage he like he looks down at like like as you finish your backflip
he like has now looked away from he has now looked away from the like the the pile of gems looks looks
at you tango looks over rahua then like the flies start moving back into the into the cage and as they
do you can see that the entire like limb the spider limb is gone there's nothing left there's just like
the humming of flies now it looks up at you tan hauser
you know you seem like a good people and it is the first time how about i give you a hundred and
fifteen gold pieces in exchange for those gems you have there righteous deal hands them over
and with that how about we uh how about we take our uh first break and then we can uh come back
after that as i update the people's loot appropriate yeah yeah just high-fiving over
yeah we're like yeah we're like two steps away from pouring gatorade on top of each other
pouring gasoline on each other oh i thought we were going to burn him to death
we'll be back
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out of blotus's emporium
plea from blotus emporium well uh i think that's i think that's all the stuff we're going to get uh
well i think you ten houses again some striking stuff i think so is valley and i'll put in some
of my money so you guys can get that stuff indeed i have made excellent purchases of a climbing kit
a repair kit and a grappling gun which i am saying out loud so that invisible people will be aware of
this and call me on it if i don't use them forgive me the flies are always listening
i would imagine chat is the are the flies and they always follow us yeah yeah and if we steal they'll
just devour us yeah you just disappear you just fucking disappear the real chat with the real chat
where the flies we met along the way that's great oh the universe hears you tan hauser it's just a
matter of time to see whether or not it listened if i listen to your advice it's only a matter of time
before i become schizophrenic wow anyway thank you very much blotus you have been so helpful but
what do you shake his horrible hand yeah his like hand goes underneath one of the pillows rifles
round a few flies go flying out and then he like sticks his like emaciated long halfling hand out
towards you smile like very wide like little little bits of hair on the back of like back of his hand
and here are your runes two of them thank you i'm going to take them very slowly and just kind of throw
one at tan hauser oh my eyes that quick little
all right thank you come back to my podium anytime of course especially once you have that point system
yes frequent fly point sneeze yeah all right we'll be back man later blinko
i need alcohol so bad later walk out we are following another trail first before we get to your
precious boobs wait hold on bloaty i got one more question you have any alcohol in here
uh i'm going to i'm going to do the comedy and pull her out of the shop
uh yeah so where are you off to now uh so we need to try and figure out something pertaining to the
uh strange arcane creature that set fire to the building we were in and i don't believe we were of
one mind about if we were going to pursue the architect's guild first or pursue them after
trailing for something right i believe we must adventure after the monster or at least investigate
the site see if there's something that we perhaps neglected so good point we could head back
fine we'll could sounds like a good idea we could just hit up the the site just to speed things along
like the apartment that collapsed that area yeah that okay yeah i'm going to uh take out from my
climbing kit a grappling hook and i'm going to hand it to baldrick when we enter into that sinkhole
there is a good chance that there could be issues i have my grappling hook loaded you should have your
own that way if there are two that need to be lowered in it should be you and me the greatest
investigators fair enough take a look all right so it was at what turn at that's when we just follow
the smoke yeah so baldrick you can you can lead the way like you know this district very well having
lived here um you make your way uh towards towards the building like the the smoke seems to have
have cleared cleared up specifically now when you reach the sinkhole it's just the building isn't there
anymore the wooden sections have collapsed off the only part that remains is the small like 10 by 10
area that was the like one land adjacent section uh as we talked about for tax purposes though like
it's that ripped off and like half of it's been torn down everything clearly has fallen down into
the sinkhole uh so looking specifically at the support that was a blaze that refused to go out with
the smoke stick mm-hmm yeah you sort of like walk over to the to the edge seeing like most of it's like
burned away there's like maybe like like a couple like nubs of wood that are sticking out from the the
the ground like that are starred at the edges so i'm assuming i don't need to roll in engineering
to know that yes the loss of these would cause it to collapse though i would like to know if possible
if this could have been caused by a creature or by something that was thrown at it that turned into a
creature yeah um you want to give me an engineering check for that yes i shall yeah because it's very
possible knowing everything it could just be like a a fire sprite sealed in a jar and thrown four
thirteen and not impressive i could it could very well be that um it's just incredibly difficult for
you to to tell um like there's so many factors that could go into it uh but you're pretty confident
that something had to have happened that obviously wasn't you and it would have had to have been like
a directed power however as you sort of stand at the sinkhole and my cat runs through like a mad kitty
um as as you stand at the edge of the sinkhole and look down you kind of like get a sense of of strange
vertigo as though you were seeing yourself falling back down into the sinkhole again yeah um and like
as as you you have that sort of vertigo you you have that flashback to to seeing the like the creature
that stood at the edge of the sinkhole staring down at you though not quite staring so much as
just existing um you just have that sort of flash back into your mind uh yeah i was about to say could
i i was about to ask if i could do a recall on that but sure you absolutely like that is the appearance
of it for for those of you who are listening um it looks like an amalgam of like rocks and fire and
air and blobs of water all in like a roughly feline form um it is it is definitely like a strange
shape that you you saw the the barest hints of as you fell uh so i would just do a recall knowledge
yeah sure that would just be intelligence right um in this case like you're trying to think of like
what you would know it to be um i'd say like any like arcane occultism uh nature religion like any
of those skills you could give me a shot on arcana it is whoosh ah 14 nothing nothing doing here
someone else it's definitely some kind of elementally creature but like you're you're you've you've never
heard of something specific like this i think i'm not i'm not piecing it together too much anyone
with an air for the arcane willing to snip something out i'll see what i can do um and yeah you know
i'm think it's it's like the fella said let's roll some arcana sure
that is going to be a 19 okay with a 19 like you're in a similar boat like it sounds like an
elemental creature but you've never heard of something specifically like that like most
elementals are usually like singular elements uh creatures born of like the elemental churn plane
there aren't a lot of like composite creatures like that well i can say that compositions like this
are very rare but we should keep in mind that below our feet lies a broken temple to the elements
it could be that its destruction defiling or even its use as usual created some kind of hellish
abomination i'm going to look at oren do your wings fly uh or look at his wings and he'll notice that his
feathers have not fully grown back yet but he'll turn back and go like well if i didn't fall from a great
high that i'd be able to glide my way down but i really can't take flight yet my my feathers haven't
really grown back yet fine i'm going to take rope pittance and my hammer and i am going to hammer uh
have baldrick point out to me where the amalgamate was and i'm going to hammer a rope um and then
repel it off the side so for for clarification purposes it was on the side like it was where
you were standing because you were in the house and so as baldrick fell he saw it standing on the
side of the sinkhole like maybe watching existing uh as you fell down so it wasn't like it was down
on the side of the wall or anything it was standing on the edge where you are now okay um i i think it
still makes sense to do that uh kind of check the general area since it might have gone downwards and
i'm going to look at oren as he drew it i would imagine you have the superior sense of tracking
see if you can find any unusual patterns that might lead us in the direction of a strange walking
amalgamation of stone sure can i'm just gonna i'm gonna i wanna do okay thurston i'm gonna i'm
gonna send an argument at you okay can i transfer can i use animal form to transform into a dog
to better my tracking role or my survival role that look forward to try tracking you're finding
more signs i mean it would give you like scent right so you could definitely transform into into
that and like get a like if there's some scent based thing you could definitely get like an
understanding of it for sure excellent like or we'll go like ah like roger that i'm turning
around man and then you're gonna go basically animal form and turn into a dog and immediately
start sniffing around the area yeah i'm sorry what kind of dog that's a damn good question i'm gonna
say german shepherds because i like german shepherds oh he's so cute take that am
the horde's really confused at the sudden affection
was that okay he's just gonna get that wearing side-eyed dog look and then remembering that it's
orrin now go investigate morf wait i want to pet him all right he just like everyone pets orrin
just just give him a scratch boy wait i forgot completely uh i'm gonna change it to be a basset
hound in in in light of nugget oh there we go i'm gonna change it to a basset hound so nugget yeah
everyone pet nugget yeah okay i'll do a survival check here
i got a 21. yeah so uh you can see that there are there are tracks around here but they're they're
incredibly difficult to follow you don't get very far with them and with your scent you're still able
to like detect the the faint aroma of smoke that wafts around here though some of it is is an unnatural
kind of smell like there there's definitely wood fire but there's some kind of other like almost
like a natural fire or perhaps too natural fire that's not like the result of some something
burning but it's law like it's very very faint now uh but you get the sense of whatever this this
creature was it certainly was here and did have some physical impact but when it moved off it it
did not leave uh tracks based on its like composite form but as it traveled around there leave any
burn marks on buildings and stuff that could leave a lingering burning scent that it's unique of its own
it's it's it's left a few things yes but like you're you're able to tell that like your skills are way
way outmatched by this thing's ability to say like to stay like hidden and and unknown like it's it was
taking some attempts to not leave too many marks behind so you can basically verify yeah this thing
was here it kind of ran off but after a very short like maybe like two minutes away from here
you lose track of it and it was intentional oran comes back for four four four four four
good now in english side glides uh he looks at the paws uh have an existential crisis oh god can i turn back oh god
animorphs rules you spent oh no i had a more transition back
oh let's get one of those someone needs to do someone needs to do one of those fucking animorphs book
covers with oh god curse curse nightmare first okay nightmare nightmare nightmare comes back is like
well that thing did that thing disappeared very oddly is a giant thing burning so yeah there's not much of a
a trail of it tarnation huh it looks like we might have to shake down the uh architect's guild fair enough
uh do you suppose that they knew anything about it or that this was some sort of accident now's our
chance to find out and i'm certain that if we find the individual responsible she will be willing to
to disclose some information with pressure before we go i'm just going to pack up my climbing kit
and then i'm going to do a walk around the area uh around the path we might have tracked around the
sinkhole casting detect magic see if i pick up anything uh no there's there's no traces of magic here so if
there was something magical it is it has long since passed it seems as if our friend might need
persuading after all very well to the guild we go the guild we go the guild we go yeah okay
guild go we um so uh tannhauser i suspect you are uh you are leading leading the way to the architect's
guild office branch which you would probably know or sorry baldrick you're probably leading the way
to the uh architect's guild branch which you would know in this area correct and i'm looking specifically
for the person whom we interacted with whose name i eludes me but you know yeah marlene marlene um
that's yeah yeah and it's it's it's not again not far it's it's kind of like you you head to blotus
then back to the edge of the sinkhole then back to sort of that like commons area closer to closer to
blotus's uh emporium where you you reach the the architect's guild uh branch office which is a very
very modest building um it's a standalone building which is which is somewhat rare but it's got like
you know other structures rising around it and it's kind of has has almost like a squat um square
appearance to it it has the the symbol of the architect's guild um that is furnished on top of the
door and like it's it's nice wooden doors double doors that are open uh inside you can see that
there is a like clerk attendant at a desk there is a a man with like long luxurious hair sitting in
like a chair waiting uh sort of like constantly like flipping his head back to like get to the hair
in the right position like he looks at you as you come in does like a flick of his hair kind of like
spacely looks off uh the clerk looks up has has sort of the the robes of the architect's guild uh this
is a a very like meek man um obviously looks a bit like out of like like much like marlene did like
out of place in the ceremonial architect's robes um just just looking at you uh what kind of wide eyes
is this like esoteric group that is you walks in
mm-hmm does he do anything else hi good hi buddy hello it's going we're here to see maureen
is she in today marlene uh she's just just uh in the back finishing up some paperwork and like
has the like the click you just hear this like from the guy sitting who again like flack like flashes
his hair back what do you need with marlene we were a group of contractors hired to take care of a
situation towards the center of the sinkhole we are coming along to report it as complete
oh flicks his hair okay
so are we clear to go back i'll just have to wait for her to finish she should just she's just finishing
up she should just be another minute if you want to take a seat there points to the chairs opposite
okay or pitter patters in what exactly is she doing this i i have some paperwork she had to finish
before she's done for the day yes i think this this doesn't need to wait do you want to give me like
an intimidation chick this poor boy i mean it's not gonna it's not gonna go well my intimidation's low
it's zero actually wait wait wait what i have a spell for this i have a spell
it's called thundering dominance you shroud the target in a powerful predatory aura and
amplifies vocalizations it gains a plus one status bonus to intimidation checks
once during the spell's duration you can take the thundering roar action
yes i would love to deal 4d8 sonic damage to this guy this is my second level okay so the thundering
roar is a separate thing for 10 minutes i know but you pointed it out i know it's funny and in case
they ever say no to use that okay so i can use the benegesserit voice on him jesus could you just throw
a baldrick token on the middle so we can apply it to him oh my god i can i can yeah okay well yeah
because i think you're just gonna give me a plus one to intimidate and the option to detonate this man
this is a level two spell slot holy shit why is it oh i need you to put my token on there i think too
because it's being dumb okay let's see how this works there ain't no no it's really dumb for some reason
you have to put the spell effect on him yeah that's what i kept trying to do okay you can
move us you can right click it off your status page on your character sheet but yeah that should
automatically apply plus one uh intimidation check and that lasts for like 10 minutes so you got 10
minutes of being intimidating a little bit more intimidating no no no i want i want you to describe
how you're casting this spell which uh one sec does what are what are the components of this spell
um let's see yes very very good very good um okay okay okay no it's time to throw us out
i just wanted to describe how the spell like how you cast the spell wait a minute hold up what i was
going to spell this is target targets your companion or eidolon oh yeah why in two-tone
fuck can i not target that at an ally well cuz it's meant for you and your buddies now we're learning
the the spells i'll let you cast it on him because it's funny here yeah next time i go visit the paizo
offices i'm gonna come in here like which one of you wrote this who i will give my ally i will give
you my whatever you're so you're saying you're gonna assist me volley how um i'm just gonna like
this poor keep up behind him and just give like this toothy menacing grin of just like yeah sorry
we're kind of a big deal why'd you say that
all right um decent intimidate so watch me roll a nat one it's assisting me right yeah
good 15. does that get me any bonuses that will give you a plus two uh plus two circumstance bonus
which will stack with the status bonus so you'll get a plus three bonus on this very nice
and natural 20 yay
nat 20. all right now do the other action oh go get her i want you to first row dog g mod collide physics
this entire room no okay and then like the the clerk goes off to the back room
i think he kissed himself baldrick i didn't why would you do that yeah baldrick we are busy i wasn't
gonna say that he needs to get her i was going to go back there myself because she's in her office which
means we could corner her which means every bureaucratic miss malfunction is a new opportunity
for radicalization actually this isn't a complete failure i'm actually going to follow him
okay so as as like you're following the little clerk yes okay it's his first day um so as you
as you like move past the barrier the the like the man with the long hair stands up like
hey what are you what are you doing we're going to go meet marlene
uh uh i'm coming too and he like follows all right i roll thundering horn
okay no
i can pit it on orrin anyway while they're doing that orrin's gonna leave
and he's gonna go around the back he's gonna go around the back and look for the back door
baldrick has the fucking thundering roar on him and he just says no you won't to the guy
not like in a violent way but because of the spell he blows to pieces yeah i also like that
fucking orrin he's like i cast the reward i quickly extricate myself from the situation
let me let me just do this as a funny
does this kill him
the guy in theory would this kill him which which one the clerk or the god the the flowing haired
fellow uh the flowing haired fellow uh that would that would definitely uh like send him sprawling
backwards and unconscious and dying to the shadow realm basically please i will i will hold this in
consideration because i can do this for the next 10 minutes jeez you don't get to pre-roll your murder
roll i didn't i'm just saying like that's a theory now i know it's a game theory orrin's going to be
going leaving and going back to the back door and i i'm assuming it's a small house right it's not a
giant building i mean no it's it's it's like it's it's like a d like a small office building so yeah
you can get around back super quickly okay as i go to the back door i like to roll a perception check
to make sure i can hear clearly as baldrick and them are entering inside okay yeah sure give me a perception
check okay uh 22. okay yeah you can hear you you hear you hear uh marlene's voice and we'll cut to
the party's view of this uh as you all like come barging in the long-haired man like behind the clerk
in front moving aside marlene looking up from a desk oh hello there and she like looks kind of in
surprise at you baldrick and then tannhauser who and volley as you come up behind um and then like
sees sees the like the long-haired man like kind of like looks back looks over at all of you
um and then like she's she's still in her her like long like official architect's guild clothes
she's got her thick spectacles she's got the chain with the scroll case on it uh and she sort of looks
up at all of you um hello baldrick is going to put a hand on the clerk's head turn him around and push
him out yeah and like the the clerk gets pushed out the the long-haired man like tosses his hair back
again marlene you seem surprised to see us again well i'm i i i i am surprised yes
why would you be surprised well you're you're you're you're you you walked in here with with my
husband so i'm concerned your husband with the the swish like the hair guy swishes his hair back yeah
that's me he's a catch i'm sure he has a great personality anyway baldrick is restraining himself
from like letting out what feels like a cacophonous belch i know oh no does the thunderous roar just
happen at the end no you get to choose to do it it's like so once during the spell's duration which
would last for 10 minutes he could just do it whenever at that point ah we're we're holding
we're holding that in reserve don't let it out like a like a horrible damaging belch anyway uh
so wait what were we asking oh for look marlene we have uh we have some questions regarding how
that whole situation went down primarily that it is now complete job's done have you seen the site
since then no i i wasn't supposed to go there for for another week or so well you'll be happy to know
that the structure is no longer there it has been taken care of and we are here to report a job well done
well um thank you for letting me know yes oh i i feel i need to also point out uh we fell in the pit
after the structure collapsed around us as the scaffolding supporting it burn you wouldn't happen
to know anything about that would you who would burn it's incredibly dangerous to burn a structure
near the sinkhole the the the the most of the structures in the sinkhole area are wood and that
could cause a catastrophic fire in the entire area and then can i roll anything like maybe a sense
motive of some kind i mean is that a spell also roll a perception yeah reception check thank god oh boy 20
yeah um there's like genuine like like concern knowledge from her about like buildings in the area
burning down and the repercussions that could have like she seems like terrified like oh gosh
like the like the fire could have spread and taken out like hundreds of people and like looks very
concerned about this um that doesn't seem like she she knows anything about like you know what caused
it she's just more like that that that would be horrible what a coincidence rather it seems odd that
the petite bourgeois was not behind this hold on a second here huh marlene you should know there is
another creature still stalking the sinkhole one we are unable to locate creature i just asked you if
there were people in that that that that home there were we got them out oh oh precisely why we are a
little how can i say perplexed as to why we were given this job to assess the building and to clear it of
inhabitants only for the building itself to be waylaid by some kind of fiery arcane creature that
sent us sprawling into the sinkhole and like at this point you like 10 10 hauser with your your prior
perception check you do notice like she's she's definitely seems like a bit worried now like there's
there's like a oh shit like from that that commentary like uh speak your mind plainly our paths align at
this juncture well um i it's just that the the building wasn't um the building wasn't wasn't that to be to be
demolished for for several several more months and and what what it ended up happening was was there
was there was someone who who a generous benefactor who wanted to have it demolished earlier to make
way for for urban development um and that's that's that's how we got the queen to to pay to pay for you
uh-huh are you as this benefactor exactly um well um
they they they didn't want to to be to be um to to be to be known specifically um they they were uh um
um an and an elf with a with a very strange accent oh for the strange accent you have what kind of
accent what region uh uh he uh sounded kind of like it is uh she like tries to to mock this accent
i don't know anybody with that kind of accent have i any frenchman i'll roll a uh yeah can i do a society
as well to see if that rings a bell sure sure i'll give you a hint it probably doesn't at a 13.
i had that 19 and then it didn't i have a 17. hopefully that should be enough
i thought prince du shelf sounded more like uh the funny what the hell is his name the french
guy from the warhammer fantasy one yeah that was that was her trying to do that was her trying to do
a french accent oh she was doing a bed and she was doing very bad at it yes interesting that you
should cop that kind of voice considering that an individual with a very similar accent was residing
in that structure playing card games on the table with a number of other individuals
i don't i don't i don't want to alarm you and she's like like her eyes are kind of like
fluttering at this point as she leans in there i don't want to alarm you but i think he might
have been with the children of the blaze hmm time for me to roll a religion
he doesn't look like a child society actually so
if you want to make this single blaze it joke i hate you yeah there we go
uh yeah uh tanhauser and baldrick with a 18 and a 22 respectively both of you
would know the name uh the children of the blaze is one of the like possibly the like most uh
infamous gang in the pond's pilaster this the sinkhole district that you're in
they are a like kind of a protection rackety based uh street gang that like has mock allegiance to uh the
old power uncle blaze um they're they're notorious for often using fire in things that they do which
is a big no-no in the city uh and so they're they're looked at being like one of the most awful like
groups to deal with may i inquire as to why you elected to do work with this individual if he was
under suspicion of working with this group it was going to to happen anyways they they simply wanted
to to expedite the situation and came and gave gave coins
i see do you have these documents
uh uh oh gosh i i i could um um oh i uh well i they came with the coins i have the documents for the
um for for the signed demolition and she's like fiddling through like stacks of papers and like
placing down like here's here's the the scheduled i haven't updated it yet with the coins though i have
the the coins and she sort of jingles like through one of the the like drawers like here are the coins
that were given for this and well then they went to you and so this is the remainder of yeah while
while she's umming and erring can i do a quick perception to see if we're being monitored by anyone
oh like looking around here boy yeah yeah sure give me uh give me uh give me another perception check
i'll just be taking the spearhead on this one i kind of want oh for christ's sake a nat 20.
nat 20. that's when you see oran's like feet through the bottom of the door like the shadow
of his feet that's the you realize someone's standing out the back door it's actually oran
that's that's basically what you would recognize with that like no one else is watching like
the the husband is standing there again just sort of tossing his hair and the clerk is like
awkwardly pacing behind the the desk at the front so the the her husband is not making any moves to
like interfere or like cause any trouble right no he's like leaning up against the wall like arms
crossed occasionally like tossing his hair back he sometimes lets out a like like a whatever yeah
sure good eye candy fantastic boring
i don't do a thing so fucking bad oh no i i have a bit in mind if someone tries to interfere with us
i just hope we can oh i hope someone interferes at some point i'm just saying that i'm gonna turn to
volley yeah continue volley you were once a powerful pirate captain do you know anything in particular about
banditry tactics in an urban environment
i am a powerful pirate captain
what what would i know uh would that be
sorry could you repeat i heard urban environment yeah basically gang tactics in an urban environment
um uh do you mind if i uh roll a quick thievery to try and put some pieces together as to what he
was up to what we were being lured into i i would like to point out you asked volley but i'm over
here with a nine warfare lore yeah i was about to say thievery is like that would honestly be more
society uh thievery is more like with your hands stuff yeah underworld floor is perfect yeah absolutely
can i also throw warfare as well yeah absolutely i will try warfare as well since i also have a train
volley do you know this thing wait a second i remember myself i know this thing 27 and a 26 and
of course of course and volley gets the fucking eight okay here's how this scene played out tanhazer
turns to volley volley do you know anything about gang tactics specifically these kinds of gang tactics
used with this specific gang that i know extremely well and the tactics there you know actually
tanhazer i think i also know the gang tactics used for this specific gang tactic in this particular
location within the city i don't know anything all that stuff damn good call oh thanks for your help
volley thank you thank you my knowledge is so deep and wide this is a naked gun bit this sucks
don't don't give me i'm trying to get like no no it was funny i had a good time
i found a crab down there you and i rolled 26 and 27 after you asked a question to someone who
rolled these three are having this and then it was like i found a crab down there like marlene looks
at you like the fuck who's down there there were many many crabs and then they were all gone
that's sharing me uh okay so with those those recall knowledge checks that apparently you didn't even
ask me what you learned from you were just fucking going with the bit which i love
uh with with your two checks you would know that yeah they're like they're a very dangerous gang to
mess with because they set stuff on fire and in a place like the sinkhole where a lot of the buildings
are like closer to the sinkhole and like lower end buildings here are wood uh that doesn't go too
well or in a lot of cases they can use they use all chemicals and this would be like sort of the high
end of your knowledge check especially at baldrick's end but both of you really with that uh those 26
and 27 respectively would know they have a source of like alchemical substances that can coat weapons
in fire or like even large caches of alchemical fire that they can utilize which have given them a
lot of notoriety and a lot of people pay them protection money um their their leadership structure
remain something of a mystery though uh but their tactics are very common of like nice guys
followed by okay we're gonna set fire to your stuff boy it would be a shame if more things you
owned were set on fire okay so basically what happened to us kind of yeah that's very epic i'm glad
we could learn this yeah well i think that narrows things down a great deal
are you like done my wife and i need to get back home i need to cook for the kids oh you're a wife
guy oh just a moment longer all right hair hair goes back again those documents i'd like uh
uh i'd like them if you don't mind um yeah i here let me um i can produce some duplicates for you um
and she like quickly starts scrawling out the information with you i'm i'm sure over her
shoulder making sure she transcribes it all correctly um as she like produces the the writ of demolition from
the architect's guild and then like goes in to update it with her notes on like you know concerned
citizen donation the the amount of gold matching the gold that you were you were provided plus an
additional donation to the architect's guild for future uh future endeavors fair enough
yes uh there there there you are um hopefully this should uh provide you a bit of information a
bit a bit bit of help i'm so sorry i'm so sorry this all happened to you i didn't i didn't i didn't
think they they they just seemed like concerns and then i was concerned someone would be in there and
it's standard operating
if it's not your fault it's not your fault in the future you might want to be more careful though if you
send someone into some kind of location where they might come across a group of suspected
members of a gang that sets garbage on fire that is my advice from me to you she she nods profusely
yes yes you know in a situation like that it might help to have an observer present just to just to
watch things that that that makes a lot of sense a smart person would do that yes we'll do that for
unless you're paying us again we're kind of too badass for anything really bad to happen to us
voli you almost died
well i didn't baldrick wants to turn to voli
voli
it is so sad that the prince died of ligma
who's the prince like my balls i would like to cast thundering roar
the clerk looks over as voli goes flying up the room
uh all right now that that alternate reality is done and we cut to like the camera just on
baldrick's face staring at voli for a moment oh jeez
if there's anything else i could do um um i can i can i can um um here here i'll i'll write um i'm
i'm not in this district but i can i can provide you uh uh my my address if you if you need to contact
me again and she like scrolled and like you hear that they don't they don't need our address whatever
hey hair boy yeah it's so sad the prince died of ligma
it's so funny i'll do it again he'll actually do it this time
voli gets a premonition don't answer them
if it's all the same to you i would rather stop wasting time on these bureaucrats and kill this
gang well hold on a moment killing maybe not no they might have done this to other people i'm on
his side on that of course but that doesn't mean we can't shake them down first if we kill them down
we get more information about their little group and oh so so you're going to the to the cackling
jackass then correct oh yes you want me to buy you a drink you and your husband no no no no no i i
wouldn't go there i just i just i i've heard that's where the that's where the children operate out of
or at least that's that's one of their public fronts well i've never been beaten up by a bunch
of children before so i'm not about to start now
good luck and she kind of like nods and then like like eyes her husband who's like fine let's go
and she like gets up and gives you nod my address is on the paper uh please please please please if
you need anything else just just just let me know just just just let me know of course
i'm so sorry i'm so sorry and she like has her like arms sort of like in in lock and like
like nodding at each of you i'm so sorry i'm so sorry this all happened i'm so sorry
so they leave then
i think they're like they're like oran outside you hear the conversation coming to an end
oh i guess they killed him already
also speak of your mic a little bit like a pen under the door
very very good
i live i stop on one of oran's talons that are just kind of stuck out under the
under the thing that's the guy you see the shadow
oh god someone's hot mic in
yeah he no he's just a justice spank then uh the oran will kind of meet him out at whatever door
they come out of and uh he's like all right so is the battle righteous
we didn't kill anyone yet there's nothing
oh nice valley high five give him a high five no it's fine they just went back home to their children
we are going to the cackling jackass to meet a bunch of children and beat them up
we're going to murder people before we do this i should express what our intentions best be
we need to have the prance on chains for the rest of the gang to see holding him high upon a stage
we must eliminate this gang and turn them to the betterment of the community
and to do that we will need baldrick
baldrick baldrick you know that you are facing off against fellow alchemists with their
fire i'm going to need you to create some sort of formula in order to counteract this flammable substance
he opens up his book and he begins to thumb through it like do i got anything for stopping fire
ah shit you're gonna have to go cooking again to find that
geez i didn't think i get this far i'll see what i can do about that but failing that i'll try to make
some drawn butter and maybe that'll fix it hmm ideally yes now what might be necessary is
a community that lives in fear of a gang is a weak one gangs rely on terror
and if we show them terrified their power evaporates the weak masses will flock to our banner
and we will begin the process of constructing a revolutionary army
or we have a question orn spins around funny
i have a question go ahead
if we're supposed to eliminate the idea of the community fearing the gang your gangs hold control
because they're being feared by the community wouldn't murdering them and making an example of
them also make us the new gang we would now be feared and thus perpetuating the exact same problem
thus not really establishing a revolution no because the difference is on who controls the monopoly
on violence all governance exists based on the same principles of fear and intimidation
we shall monopolize violence in this community and therefore adjudicated justly
baldrick is gonna take note of that and he's gonna like kind of crane his neck to the sky and see
the sun dipping down in the sky that is all well and good however i do want to point out
we have limited time before we have this party that i mentioned i'd really rather not take on
not tonight but in we're not going to wipe out an entire gang all at once just the five of us
unless you plan on burning down a whole of bar with all the people in it
no i have a bit of a counter proposal oh tan hauser's on the right track
no it's like arms like well we get oh oh we're going with another plan and so he shuts up
well maybe not an entirely different plan more like a a caveat to tan hauser's plan because i get it
the monopoly on violence row row fight the power etc but i ran with what could be called a gang for a
while and just because you're a ragtag band of criminals doesn't necessarily mean you're doing
bad or that everybody among you is going to be doing bad so we take out this leader we are still we
establish ourselves as a new leader we turn this gang on its head we turn it around we make it a
force of good right you will have to pardon me volley if i am not overly interested in rehabilitating
psychotic man-slaying pyromaniacs i tend we're going to assume that all of them are insane pyromaniacs
like tan hauser said they're leading this place with fear how many people here are
actually ridiculous murderers it sounds to me like among them we could find something like a crew
we'll put a pin in that idea i'm going to be looking for a crew are you making your way to
the cackling jackass now yeah we're discussing this as we're walking okay yeah so so eventually
you you make your way to the the exterior area of the cackling jackass um the door is currently
closed as you approach um the area around here is packed buildings this is further into the commons
area so even above you there's not actually a sky anymore lights are coming from magical sources that
are sort of like suspended uh like chandelier like elements uh the building of the cackling jackass is
you see marked with a sign in front of the closed door uh it's just just a little bit ahead of you
but the district itself is all sort of built around a large pillar about a 20 foot by 20 foot pillar that
rises up from the ground here and heads up you can tell that the cackling jackass itself is a three
story building and you can see that there's uh at the thirds on the third level there's even what appears
to be like a bridge connecting um this this pillar into the third floor of the cackling jackass similarly
there's like a section of wood from a nearby storage structure uh that you see just to the east of the
cackling jackass as well uh that sort of like connects to it um through like a wooden plank uh so it's like
this kind of hodgepodge connection between these two buildings and this large um central pillar uh
support support pillar in the in between them as you approach the cackling jackass uh you can see the
sign which is like this um like donkey that's kicking with almost like a stylized like guffaw and on top of
it is perched an owl with like large large open eyes um at least it looks like an owl like it's got
these large open eyes its beak is sort of pulled back in and its head almost like slouches to a side
Owen's gonna nature check that owl sure what are you the bar sign you described just sounds like a hot sauce
that i think i bought once perfect what kind of owl is that uh it's not an owl it is a type of fey
that you recognize as like having having some slight yeah has has some slight similarities to an owl but
is actually a type of malicious fey called a saucer
um they're notable because their chest bursts open into a bony saw and they are kind of the the
absolute jackals of fey they're very like minor fey who tend to cluster in groups and like prey on on
just like the misfortune of people
uh i fucking love this art by the way little man oh he's chunky he's our chunky boy all right
let me see dude do i suspect that thing will attack us they they tend not to attack unless
a provoked or b they feel they have overwhelming superiority
um so in this case it's it's probably just more here to harass people
are you attacking it with a necrotic bomb i was testing oh okay
may i roll a perception check to see if there's a shit ton of up around
uh yeah sure
a little bit i got a 29. um do you hear like hooting that like is probably coming like east from some of the
alleyways this way
you can't tell how many more there might be but with a 29 you you hear like hooting an occasional
like flapping of wind so like clear our wings so you like you're guessing there's more of them
somewhere yeah i was about to say if there's more there's definitely a thing and orrin will relay the
information going those owls be a bunch of bullshit and if we there's a lot of them that probably need
us alive the owl turns to you as you speak its head kind of again cocking to the side yeah you heard me
hoot hoot say that to my face hoot hoot
i don't mind about your ass bitch let's go he like claps
his hands like don't threaten me we can't get into a bar fight before we've started drinking hey buddy
hey our birds are talking oh hoot hoot
oh graham
try it bitch hoot hoot
is that i'll clunk you up
hoot hoot that sounds good coming from someone whose dick probably is like nothing hoot hoot
really dick you don't even have a dick asshole fuck you oh graham these penis comments are
anti-revolutionary hoot that's not what your mom said hoot hoot
really he's gonna make me a 19 reflex save or else he takes 4d12 electricity damage
fuck that guy sure all you hear from the sky he's like that's what your mom said
oh wait hang on i would like to i would also like to commit to this hey owl succeeds it's really
safe it still takes half thirst and i need to ask oh can i only contribute to this uh 28 total damage
just just before orrin releases his lightning bolt hey owl
come on thurston i'm waiting hoot hoot
it's so sad that the prince died of lake muck
you did you so much
i think chan hauser has decided to go his own way and leaves the party behind
so as the lightning bolt like like
you can't be like what the fuck this and like it flies the fuck
and um as you stand yes yes ru please
our uh yeah it's it how far away is this creature for me
uh it's like it's fucking like russian it's flown off like it got hit by a lightning bolt
it was like fuck this noise and like that was kind of like a surprising action like
fucking out of nowhere like orrin's like lightning and then this thing's like who
did fuck this and flew off
uh that was thank you very much sir someone in rock grain has a really fast wagon oh no it's a
chainsaw car there are no chainsaw cars in fucking rock grind
the door opens someone comes out like peers their head it's a human like looks over to yura who uh
sees like looks up like can hear like the crack like the still like crackle static in the air
uh there's probably like a singe mark on top of
which one of you did this to our sign
oh there's uh there's a beast on top of your sign there and it did that it messed it all up
we we've shoot it away though i was there i was a witness yeah all these guys are witnesses nasty
fucker
all right we just showed off he turns and closes the door you too buddy all right let's go in
yes it's our time to sod on in fact we are sodding on okay so as as tanhauser as you you approach
our camera begins to dim as you walk into like the singed like side of the cackling jackass tanhauser
goes to open the door and as that happens we just like the camera zooms out and gives us a view of
several owl eyes from various points staring at the group as they approach
hoot hoot and that'll be the end for today oh no no vendetta yeah you
fucking pissed off those fucking literally my notes are like troll owl
very good oh hooray we're at the end of the thing good job everybody we did the thing
hail to you i had to say thank you so much for coming on odoroshi
me this is oh yeah this is our outros now
this is really awkward but like we'd like to thank you for coming but like i'm sorry you're
out of the show we gotta go
what did i do what did i do this time no uh hi hello i was a roshi rider thank you very much for
letting me come with you guys today you can find me on twitter at odoroshi rider um
i play volley the uh self swashbuckler and i will see you all two weeks from now
yes and hokie crow thanks for playing brahua
of course and thank you very much for having me as always you can find me at hokie crow on twitter or on
the narrative declaration discord server on the community manager over there uh extinguisher of
fires i believe i changed my description or something like that too come on on supply we do some fun
stuff we we do a little chatting yeah we play some games that's about it and thank you aaron dill for
playing baldrick today happy to be here happy i got to do my rule of three just before the show
ended uh yeah you can find me at twitter at edern dillio and all that nonsense and basically
nowhere else unless i've got you friended on discord don't friend me out of nowhere on discord
please it's very awkward and thank you speaker d for coming on today and playing tanhouser
yes i played tanhouser you can find me on twitter at super snake kick and you can also watch out on
alpha abuse's channel for in the next week or so we'll be dropping our very first under the parenting
audio drama the first of many to go so keep your eyes peeled for more world of darkness content
very nice very nice and thank you thurston for game mastering today
oh you're who to you're welcome fucker i mean what hi uh yes yes i am uh i'm thurston the
on-call gm you can find me over on the on-call gm and all the things i stream games sometimes uh
and hopefully solve my mic problems because total war and my mic don't like each other but that's a
thing uh otherwise um just thanks to all the players today was a fucking hilarious i always i always
like merch merchant sessions always like worry me but i think the fucking blotus stuff was
hilarious and i love everyone and they had a lot of fun it's good to introduce a character that's
you know basically just the little little alpha busa um and then otherwise uh yeah go go check
out the patreon too because we got some cool cool stuff on there and i just like promoting it because
we got cool pdfs uh and this map that you're seeing at the end of today's session uh and we'll
probably see more of in our next session in two weeks uh don't be very pretty map that you too can get
your hands on anywho that's it for me that's my shilling i usually the shilly um i love your faces
no one's gonna say thanks for playing on it okay anyway i am zoran the bear i'm your host uh
if you liked everything that we did here uh you can always visit us at narrow declaration.com where
you'll see when we're live next time we usually do this bi-weekly and everything else because it does
take a lot of time to put a lot of assets together and make the monsters everything else we do everything
every other week so if you want to see when we're live next we'd greatly appreciate if you come
along say hi and tell people about us and with that we are now going to leave thank you all so much for
your support today you've all been amazing and we'll see you all next time so long goodbye
foreign